Tag Archives: toast crunch

Review: Cinnamon Toast Crunch & Lucky Charms Light Ice Cream

I’m putting on my waffle cone chainmail and wielding a shield forged from molten maraschino cherries, because what I’m about to say will no-doubt spark a meltdown in the frozen brains of whole-blooded ice cream diehards everywhere:

I like light ice cream.

Yes, I know it has a lot less authentic milk fat, and I know there’s a certain broad threshold between light ice cream and ‘frozen desserts’ that further muddles the clarity of creamishness involved. But I’m also a grown baby with sensitive teeth and a mild lactose problem, so something soft and tolerably intolerable is a lot more appealing than a brick of pasteurized pain in my gut.

I like to think that Edy’s/Dreyer’s made this pair of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Lucky Charms ice creams light solely so I, their favorite cereal reviewer, could safely discuss them. I know, in reality, that it was a matter of cost, but hey: let me have this fantasy as I go scoop deep into churned versions of General Mills’ two most spun-off cereals. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: general mills, ice cream, lucky charms, non cereal, toast crunch. Leave a comment

Feb. ’20

Review: Coffee Mate Cinnamon Toast Crunch Coffee Creamer

Sure, Dr. Robotnik might be smart in the 2020 Valentine’s Day box office darling Sonic the Hedgehog, but can he see why caffeine-addicted young adults love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch Coffee Creamer?

It’s got cinnamon sugar swirls in every swig: it’s the taste that can seep!

Jokes and flossing hedgehogs aside, something’s been messing with my brain: the fact that we’ve gotten more semifluid additions to the Toast Crunch family lately than we have crunchable cereals.

Coupled with Malt-O-Meal’s successful reintroduction of Blueberry Muffin Toasters, this leaves me wondering whether Cinnamon Toast Crunch, ostensibly one of cereal’s most iconic names, is stagnating as a brand. I mean, the last Toast Crunch we got was just the same thing cylinderized! Where’s the return of Peanut Butter Toast Crunch? Where’s the PB&J sequel to Peanut Butter Toast Crunch I just thought of? And the trilogy-closing Elvis Toast Crunch that many critics would call “breakfast’s most cinematic feat”?

Sorry, I might just be jaded and jittery thanks to this taste test. I promise I’m not dismissing Coffee Mate’s new Cinnamon Toast Crunch Coffee Creamer before the review even starts—I’m just a mildly lactose intolerant cereal blogger who wants to get back to his oat milk. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: general mills, non cereal, toast crunch. Leave a comment

Feb. ’20

Review: Yoplait Trix & Cinnamon Toast Crunch Smoothies

Milk? Never heard of her. Is that some fermented barnyard beverage, like a cow-bucha?

I mean, it’s 2020: we’ve got more viscous things to pour over our cereal. While many make a New Year’s resolution to get thinner, there’s a skim-to-none chance that I don’t spend the year progressively thickening my breakfast additives.

Case in point: new Yoplait Trix & Cinnamon Toast Crunch Smoothies, two chuggable recontextualizations of popular cereals that are likely not meant to join their namesake noshes in bowl-y matrimony—though I am hellbent on doing so anyway. These bottles come four to a clumsily constructed cardboard pack (seriously, put these in a separate bag or you’ll end up bungling a liter of chilled Trix sauce down your front steps), and conveniently contain exactly enough smoothie to douse a bowl of cereal.

But of course, I must slug ’em back raw before any experimentation. So forgive me as I make whatever wretched noises accompany the process of “opening up one’s throat.” Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: general mills, non cereal, toast crunch, trix. 1 Comment

Jan. ’20

News: Cinnamon Toast Crunch Ice Cream

Off-brand Cinnamon Toast Crunch ice cream.

Cinnamon Toast Pop-Tarts chilled on a stick.

And now, the real thing? I demand to know the astrological significance of experiencing so many cinnamon-spiced chilly bois in constellation. Will someone I’m close to become hot and cold toward me? Will I be dead by June after a defrosted Crazy Square eats me from the inside like an Antarctic alien?

Whether I’m able to shape-shift into a fleshy spoon in time to eat Edy’s & Dreyer’s new Cinnamon Toast Crunch (Light) Ice Cream, I’m confident it will be a product whose quality is best measured in increments of time: 10 minutes to snarf it down out of 10 hours of lactose-induced remorse.

Thanks to Candy Hunting and The Junk Food Aisle who broke this story (it has since been spotted in stores), we also know there is a Lucky Charms Light Ice Cream debuting in tandem with CTC’s. Though there isn’t a photo yet, I have to imagine it will be an oatmeal ice cream swirled with (hopefully rainbow) marshmallow fluff. The kind of thing that sounds better as a trendy latte.

Because while marshmallow in ice cream is like adding whipped cream to a glass of oat milk, I can at least get excited about melting a Cinnamon Toast Crunch pint over a sieve and refining the cinnamon sugar dust into a handsome necklace.

Posted by dan g.. Categories: News. Tags: cinnamon, general mills, ice cream, toast crunch. Leave a comment

Dec. ’19

News: Upcoming Cereal Round-Up! (Special K, Reese’s Puffs, Honey Bunches & Cinnamon Toast Crunch)

♫ January, January: brings Dan no sanctuary. ♫

What? If no one else is going to start writing New Year’s carols, I might as well start drafting one to commemorate the first month of the year’s traditionally tumultuous tidal wave of new cereals. Don’t get me wrong, I’m geeked to see 2020’s freshest resolution-busters, but I will say that it’s a difficult time to both keep up and keep my fingers from burning down to the nubs from both friction and fructose.

Oh well: no strain, no whole grain. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: News. Tags: general mills, honey bunches, kellogg's, post, reese's puffs, special k, toast crunch. 2 Comments

Dec. ’19

News: Yoplait Trix & Cinnamon Toast Crunch Smoothies

Thought Trix Yogurt, the delightfully swirled nectar that is to Trix cereal as ultra-premium gasoline is to crude oil, was pretty much gone off shelves everywhere but spider-webbed school cafeteria giga-fridges? That would be a pretty silly thing to think, wouldn’t it. Very preposterous, even.

While you may have to get your LLL (lunch lady license) to order true Trix Yogurt in Olympic pool-sized volume, we solo spooners can at least skip the silverware and slug back a yogurty Trix smoothie. Yoplait is releasing this “Citrus Flavored Cultured Dairy Beverage” alongside a complementary Cinnamon Toast Crunch variety. So no matter where you drink this cereal ichor, you can tell your spouse, boss or defense attorney that “I couldn’t have possibly stolen cereal milk from a baby: I only drink cultured milk products!”

Works every time.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B6AGhYBhBdP/

So far, these smoothies have had sightings at H-E-B and Kroger, so check your local chain for a chance at filling a Cinnamon Toast Chalice with viscous beige splendor.

Posted by dan g.. Categories: News. Tags: general mills, non cereal, toast crunch, trix. 1 Comment

Nov. ’19

News: Coffee Mate Cinnamon Toast Crunch Coffee Creamer

New Coffee Mate Cinnamon Toast Crunch Coffee Creamer Cereal

Ignore the Funfetti—on this blog, we’re about done with generically vanilla-flavored things for a while.

Coffee 👏 creamer 👏 should have 👏 a built-in 👏 straw.

Or at least a strapped-in cereal straw.

As my comfort with consuming crude coffee creamer over cereal has only been emboldened by this blog, I’m worried that by the time I get my misty palms on a tankard of Cinnamon Toast Crunch coffee creamer, I’ll be fine with thoughtlessly transferring it into a Big Gulp cup.

General Mills is teaming up with Coffee Mate for this one, though it remains unclear how different CTC coffee creamer will be from, you know, any other cinnamon coffee creamer. It’s very much the same situation we just faced with Market Pantry Cereal Bowl Ice Cream, which ended up bringing in gingerbread vibes out of the leftmost corn & rice field, so I wouldn’t put it past General Mills to somehow make this coffee creamer taste like liquefied cookie butter…or liquefied regular butter.

If you find Cinnamon Toast Crunch coffee creamer, let us know what you think of it in the comments!

Posted by dan g.. Categories: News. Tags: cinnamon, news, non cereal, toast crunch. 1 Comment

Aug. ’19

News: 3 More Unicorn Charms & a Cookie-less Christmas

If your first reaction to this news is, “Where have you been for the last month, Dan?” then you and I feel similarly.

A magical rainbow🌈turned Lucky's Unicorn🦄into 3 more colorful friends! #magicallydelicious pic.twitter.com/OniPGQSvx8

— Lucky Charms (@LuckyCharms) July 25, 2019

Though it’s been nearly a month since Lucky Charms introduced three new colorways to their equestrian arsenal of marshmallows, I only found out about them last night.

Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: News. Tags: lucky charms, toast crunch. 3 Comments