Tag Archives: toast crunch

21

Apr. ’25

Review: Totino’s Pizza-Flavored Cinnamon Toast Crunch

Totino's Pizza-Flavored Cinnamon Toast Crunch Review

Well, that’s one way to get me excited about a new cereal again.

Yes, as I sat cloistered in my insular cereal study — a Luddite protesting the breakfast aisle’s newfangled dud bites whilst clinging to his oldfangled Honey Nut Cheerios and Raisin Brans — I felt confident that my crunchy comfort zone would remain an unbustable breakfast bunker.

But then they came: tempting tendrils that smelled of cinnamon and oregano, worming their way through my defenses like thin-crust lockpicks until I couldn’t resist their nonsensical allure any longer. I swung the doors wide open and bellowed to the thrumming metropolis below:

“I simply MUST try Totino’s Pizza-Flavored Cinnamon Toast Crunch!”

It wasn’t easy to acquire, mind you. General Mills only gave away 1,000 of them in a recent sweepstakes, and I didn’t even win one. But thanks to long-time fans of the blog Case & Hannah, who were kind enough to share their spoils, I can give you a full deep-dish deep-dive answer to the question everyone and their Marge Simpson is asking:

What the hell? Continue reading →

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30

Jan. ’24

Review: General Mills Loaded Cereals (Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Trix, Cocoa Puffs)

General Mills New Loaded Cereals Review Boxes

Oh, filled cereals—is there any cereal subgenre with a legacy as troubled as yours?

Perhaps it all started with 1993’s Hidden Treasures, a high-concept cereal that paired hollow cereal pieces with a trio of fruit-filled ones for breakfasters to serendipitously spoon. Heck, there was even a codex for determining which pieces held which fruit: “Pieces with a seam very close to the edge had a grape filling, off-center seams had orange, and directly center seams had cherry.”

And while Hidden Treasures is remembered incredibly fondly by today’s nostalgic noshers, it only lasted on shelves for two years, either due to poor sales or the high cost of producing a breakfast cereal elaborate enough to require a field guide.

Thus began the curse of the filled cereal: if you’re a crisped biscuit with a lil somethin’ in the center, you were destined for either discontinuation (like Pop-Tarts Cereal) or divisiveness (like Krave, which, despite being a cereal aisle mainstay and one of my personal favorites, seems to be deeply hated by about 50% of those who try it).

That leads us to today: these three Loaded Cereals are, in fact, General Mills’ third attempt at a post-Hidden Treasures filled cereal revival. First we had the ill-fated Fillows, whose dense, dessert-like decadence didn’t land with those seeking morning meals that wouldn’t leave them anchored, bloated and drooling, to their breakfast tables. Then there were General Mills Filled Bites, which were basically just Fillows all over again, and, as such, they never made it out of test markets.

Which is a huge bummer, since I, as a shamelessly indulgent density devotee, loved both Fillows and the Filled Bites. But perhaps there’s room in my heart to try again. So give me your best shot, Loaded Cereals…before you end up disappearing and breaking that very same heart again. Continue reading →

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01

Nov. ’23

Review: Gingerbread Toast Crunch

New Gingerbread Toast Crunch Review - Box

Just when I think I’m out…they pull me back in…like when a bad vaudeville actor gets pulled off stage with a cane…but in this case it’s like…a candy…cane…

Sorry, since I’ve been on a posting hiatus, I’ve forgotten how to smoothly start these things. Much-needed time off aside, I couldn’t just not break my break in order to review the cereal I’ve begged for the most over the course of this blog’s 8+ year existence. Seriously.

Simply put, I’ve been a gingerbread-loving lad since the day I first bit a man’s arm off (he was trying to steal my gingerbread cookies). That warm, molasses-soaked medley of spices…the fun of decorating and building elaborate edible architecture…the mythos of an uncatchable cookie cryptid…I just love it all to the point where you might as well call me The Gingerbread Dan.

And since I love cereal, too—especially the cookie-adjacent snickerdoodliciousness of the Toast Crunch family—combining gingerbread with Cinnamon Toast Crunch has always seemed like a no brainer. So while I’m surprised it took General Mills this long to pick the low-hanging gumdrop button, I’m just glad a box of Gingerbread Toast Crunch is finally nestled in my loving arms—just in time for Halloween to shamble back into its sarcophagus and the Thanks-mas-Year’s-Eve juggernaut to protect me from old man winter’s seasonally depressive ilk with festive cheer.

You are my talisman of power, Gingerbread Toast Crunch: now let’s find out if your taste is worth the wait. Continue reading →

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15

Nov. ’22

News: Cinnamon Toast Crunch Stuffed Puffs Marshmallows

New Cinnamon Toast Crunch Stuffed Puffs Marshmallows

S’more…s’more never changes…

Well, that is, until now. Stuffed Puffs is a small company looking to shake up the way you snack, toast, and play Chubby Bunny with marshmallows, via their signature process of cramming stuff into the center of the squishy little niblets.

And now via a coveted collab with General Mills, these indie darling ‘mallows are taking mainstream munching by storm. Coming exclusively to Walmart (no word when yet, besides the ambiguous soon), Cinnamon Toast Crunch “Big Bites” stuffed marshmallows are filled with CTC-flavored creme and then further flavor-blasted with Cinnadust.

How do you feel about this upcoming crispy, chewy, creamy confection? Would they be perfect for a Nutella graham s’more, or are they perhaps a bit too niche to get enough use?

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11

Aug. ’22

Review: CinnaFuego Toast Crunch

CinnaFuego Toast Crunch Review - Pouch

Well, here I stand. On the precipice of hitherto untouched territory, gripping the first-ever spicy cereal with quivering mitts, like I’m Neo about to take my own personal red pill (y’know, before that term was irretrievably tarnished).

But will this precipice be a mere waypoint preceding cereal innovation’s newest pinnacle? Or the edge of a steep cliff that drops off into the fiery pits of Hell?

Allow me to find out, as your sacrificial scout. Your dauntless Dante. Your cinna-guinea pig.

Here goes nothing: one giant leap for Dan-kind. Continue reading →

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28

Jul. ’22

News: CinnaFuego Toast Crunch

New CinnaFuego Toast Crunch

“And Big Cereal wept, seeing as they had no more worlds to conquer…”

Well, they’ve finally done it: the big bad breakfast barons have made a spicy cereal. Of course, sweet is a well-covered cereal territory, while salty, sour, and umami have likewise been covered. So with the release of this flamin’ hot CinnaFuego Toast Crunch, I suppose the final frontier would be a bitter Black Licorice Cereal….but let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.

But I digress—and hesitantly digest. Releasing August 12th, CinnaFuego Toast Crunch will be exclusive to both Walmart.com and 5.9oz pouches. It’s basically the same Cinnadust-slathered squares you know and love to inhale, but with the addition of an intimidatingly nebulous “spicy pepper” ingredient.

I look forward to doing a live taste-test on a Hot Ones edition of The Empty Bowl….

 

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12

Jul. ’22

Bite-Sized Reviews: DC’s Strong Berry Cereal, Cinnamon Toast Crunch Rolls, and Bath & Body Works Rainbow Cereal Soap

*Jean-Ralphio voice*

I’m the woooorst!

Folks, I’ll admit: between my day job, other writing projects, and the *gestures vaguely at everything*, I still haven’t really been feeling the long-form blogging bug for the past couple months. But that doesn’t mean I’ve been slouching on new cereal news and taste tests. On both The Empty Bowl and my Twitter, I still regularly share my thoughts on everything new and crunchy (and in this case, soapy) at the breakfast table.

Here are a few of my recent itty-bitty breakdowns. Stay tuned for more (and hopefully lengthier) content soon!

 

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15

Apr. ’22

News: Cinnamon Toast Crunch Rolls Cereal

Cinnamon Toast Crunch Rolls Cereal

Alright, I think we’ve heard about enough from the Cinnamon Toast Crunch folks. They’ve clearly stopped trying.

Granted, it’s probably our collective fault for still buying these “new” cereals, but am I the only one who’s getting a little sick of seeing the same Cinnamon Toast Crunch flavor basted onto some newfangled breakfast geometry? Cinnamon Toast Churros was one thing, Cinnamoji Toast Crunch was merely a cosmetic re-dusting, and CTC & Lucky Charms Mix was….Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Lucky Charms mixed. If all those sound like lazy releases to you, then I doubt these Cinnamon Toast Crunch Rolls will be any better.

Not to be confused with actual Cinnamon Toast Crunch Cinnamon Rolls, of course, Cinnamon Toast Crunch Rolls Cereal just seems like General Mills’ take on Kellogg”s Cinnabon Cereal. I expect nothing more than classic CTC flavor glazed atop a crunchier, airier, and ultimately less satisfying cereal shell.

Is it really too much to ask for another Apple Pie Toast Crunch, or dare I say, the return of the Tiny Toast model of cute lil powdered bread slices? I don’t know, y’all—as cereal innovation continues to flatline, it’s getting harder and harder for me to care. Anyway, Cinnamon Toast Crunch Rolls will arrive on shelves this May. Otherwise, defibrillate me if you hear from my ol’ pal Peanut Butter Toast Crunch.

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