Tag Archives: strawberry

Review: Welch’s Strawberry Oatmeal Bar Baking Mix, from Betty Crocker

I’ve reviewed oatmeal before.

I’ve reviewed cereal bars before.

But not until today have the two joined forces for a tasty crossover that’s more satisfying than The Jetsons Meet The Flintstones, Scooby-Doo Meets the Harlem Globetrotters, and The Jimmy Timmy Power Hour combined. You’ll notice that I’ve never reviewed granola bars, either. That’s because raw oats are simply one step of effort too far away from pipin’ hot oatmeal or Cracklin’ Oat Bran. In my eyes, it takes a microwave or a mill press to turn plain grains into breakfast.

So it’s time to grow up, granola bars, because oatmeal bars have everything you do—just with a lot more gumption. Oh, and in this case: oodles of strawberry jelly, too. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 9 rating, cereal bars, general mills, non cereal, oatmeal, strawberry. 9 Comments

Feb. ’17

Review: Disney Princess Cereal with Marshmallows

Is there anything more romantic than a bowlful of crunchy oat hearts?

Valentine’s Day is coming up, and I recommend that you treat your something special to a magical—and dare I say, hearty—breakfast of heart-shaped Disney Princess Cereal, heart-shaped pancakes, heart-shaped egg-in-the-basket, and a glass of orange juice with a surprise handful of Conversation Hearts at the bottom.

Okay, that last one might be a bad idea. Unless you want your significant other tearing your heart out, Kali Ma-style.

Sorry if that introduction to Kellogg’s newest marshmallowy movie cereal felt forced. It was either that or three terrible verses of “A Bowl New World.” Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 7 rating, kelloggs, movie cereals, strawberry. 6 Comments

Jan. ’17

Review: Apple Strawberry Raisin Bran Crunch Cereal

Leave it to Raisin Bran Crunch to bring two of America’s most contentious summer pie flavors together.

Seriously: apple pie and strawberry pie’s rivalry is the warm weather equivalent of pumpkin vs. pecan, and I bet this bitter—yet so sweet—feud is the reason we don’t see apple and strawberry flavors mix very often. I don’t know what apple did to strawberry to evoke decades of estrangement, but I can only assume it involved a pie to the face. And maybe a few clowns.

But now, thanks to the unifying power of Raisin Bran’s radiant sun, we can finally experience apple and strawberry in tandem without having to sandwich together two slices of Grandma’s Independence Day desserts. Because while it may be delicious, that’s how you end up with a Fourth New Belt Notch of July. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, apple, kelloggs, raisin bran, strawberry. 17 Comments

Dec. ’16

Review: Very Berry Cheerios Cereal Flavored with Real Fruit

I hope you all had a legendary and merry December, because it’s time to carry that spirit into an extraordinary January full of Very Berry Cheerios!

If you can’t tell, I’m getting a head start on my New Year’s Resolution: “make more annoying rhymes.”

While Very Berry is far from the first fruity Cheerios variety to hit shelves, this cereal takes the shortcake when it comes to sheer quantity of berries. Flavored with strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, and cranberries, the only thing missing from Very Berry Cheerios is a bushel of Wonka’s snozzberries.

But I think the wallpaper industry still has exclusive rights to America’s annual snozzberry harvests, so I’ll forgive General Mills for stopping at four berries. This has been a fruitful year for them, after all: from Berry Bunnies and newly reformulated Trix to two varieties of Tiny Toast, ol’ GM has had its fair share of juicy 2016 scoops.

Will Very Berry Cheerios be a worthy closer for this year of naturally flavored, artificial color-free berry cereals? There’s only one way to find out, and spoiler alert: it involves stuffing my annoying rhyme-hole with purple oat rings. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 6 rating, blueberry, cheerios, general mills, strawberry. 17 Comments

Oct. ’16

Review: Franken Berry Monster Cereal (2016)

Poor Franken Berry. Our strawberry-flavored, lumpy headed friend is constantly overshadowed by Count Chocula’s mainstream appeal and Boo Berry’s cult appeal. Despite the fact that he’s a big pink creature, Franken Berry’s really more like the black sheep of the Monster Cereal family.

But that’s why I love Frank so much. He’s an outsider’s outsider. He’s a champion of the niche. And most of all, he’s a role model for the weird, the different, and the artificially colored. And that’s why I’m voting Franken Berry all the way in this year’s Monster Cereal Election. Because in a world where artificial colors are being drained from our cereals faster than blood from a vampire bite, Frank is committed to making cereal unnaturally pink again.

Let’s revisit Frank’s flavor platform to make sure his policies match his nostalgic rhetoric. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, franken berry, general mills, halloween, monster cereals, strawberry. 3 Comments

Jul. ’16

Review: Mom’s Best Cereals Jungle Berry Crunch

Oh Cap’n, my…wait a minute. Yarr, this isn’t Cap’n Crunch’s Crunchberries! This be Mom’s Best Cereals’ quasi-generic rendition of Crunchberries: Jungle Berry Crunch!

Shiver me timbers: how embarrassin’! This be just like the time I meant to fly a carrier pigeon to me scurvy mate with the message “ye bringin’ the grog on the ‘morrow, matey?” and accidentally flew it to me own ma, instead. I was grounded like a landlubber for fortnights.

Oh, aye, ye may be wonderin’ whyabouts I be blubberin’ like a pirate. Well let ol’ Danbeard spin ye a briny yarn about this here cereal of the sea. Jungle Berry Crunch may sound like it belongs in some scallywag’s Zimbabwean vacation, but it tastes like something a treacherous buccaneer like ol’ Jean LaFoote himself would find when marooned on a tropical island!

Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 7 rating, cap'n crunch, mom's best, strawberry. 8 Comments

Jun. ’16

Review: General Mills Strawberry Tiny Toast and Blueberry Tiny Toast Cereals

The first toaster was invented in 1893.

The first fully functional bread slicer came in 1928.

And in 2016, General Mills released Tiny Toast cereal. Shortly after, bread historians declared a new era of toast prosperity: the Golden Brown Age.

You see, since Cinnamon Toast Crunch isn’t shaped like bread, and since French Toast isn’t made in a toaster, that makes Strawberry and Blueberry Tiny Toast the first truly toast-themed cereals ever made.

It’s hard to believe that Tiny Toast is also General Mills’ first new cereal brand in 15+ years. The only thing harder to believe is that humans had to slice bread by hand like barbarians in order to make toasty delight for 35 whole years.

But it’s true: GM’s last new brand was Harmony Cereal in 2001, a short-lived cereal marketed specifically for women. I’m glad that Tiny Toast is aimed at the much more universal audience of “bread lovers,” and as a self-professed “bread head” myself, I’m just as grateful that both flavors now sit in a bowl before me.

No more loafin’ around: let’s roll!

Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, 9 rating, blueberry, general mills, strawberry. 11 Comments

May. ’16

Review: Limited Edition Strawberry Cheerios

Strawberries.

Forget April showers, May flowers, and June TV re-runs of Austin Powers, because strawberries are the real harbingers of summertime.

Strawberries!

Whether it’s the rosy pink of an artificial strawberry or the screaming scarlet of the real thing, the color of strawberry related things is enough to make my blood run red. Oh, wait…it always does that.

Strawberries!

Even saying the name makes me want to suck down fruity beverages through a curly plastic tube while singing along to “Copacabana,” because nothing’s better than straws and Barry.

Now even Cheerios—one of the most iconic cereal brands out there—has embraced this hero of the season. With gluten-free Limited Edition Strawberry Cheerios, General Mills is once again bringing peace to the breakfast aisle after the tragic discontinuation of Strawberry Yogurt Burst Cheerios in 2013.

We also know that the bread and strawberry butter of General Mills’ strawberry cereal game is still to come with this summer’s Strawberry Tiny Toast, but let’s give Strawberry Cheerios their time in the oat ring-shaped spotlight. Hi ho, Cheerio: let’s-a go!

Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, cheerios, general mills, strawberry, van's. 9 Comments