Thought #1: There have been three Kung Fu Panda movies now?
Thought #2: Wait, this is just bootleg Cocoa Puffs with marshmallows? Don’t we owe an ass-kicking panda more than that for saving our asses from all manner of cartoon animal villainy?
Thought #3: For that matter, what do marshmallows that look like Shine Sprites have to do with Kung Fu Panda (the other marshmallows are panda heads and what appear to be yin yang symbols)?
Thought #4: What do normal people do on New Year’s Eve instead of standing in Walmart and making Nintendo references?
Thought #5, ten minutes later during the car ride home: Wait. Why didn’t they just call them Po-coa Puffs?
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(UPDATE: I reviewed Chocolate Oat Clusters here and Baked Oat Bites here! I reviewed Honey Oat Clusters here!)
First of all, shoutout to the random, misplaced holiday cupcakes for photobombing this edition of Spooned & Spotted.
While on the prowl like a legendary Pokémon hunter for all the mythical new cereals that have been spotted at Walmart (my success was mixed; my prehistoric, local Walmart isn’t exactly hip with the times), I surprisingly stumbled upon three new (or so says Google) cereals from Nature Valley.
And when I say “surprisingly,” I mean it: picture a lanky man, arms full of cereal boxes, exaggeratedly gasping at a cardboard display like some bumbling cartoon character whilst everyone around him considers snapping a photo and submitting it to “People of Walmart.”
When it comes to oat products, Nature Valley is the GOAT, so it’s no surprise that each cereal here works in those little earthy nuggets somehow. Each will get its respective review in due time, but for now, let’s unfairly judge these boxes by their covers.
We have Honey Oat Clusters, which appears to just be another ho-hum cousin in the
“Honey Bunches of Oats impersonators” family of cereals. However, I’m going to predict that this cereal will be significantly more crumbly, like those crumb-exploding treats that Nature Valley calls “granola bars,”
Next we have Chocolate Oat Clusters. I’m praying to every great cereal deity there is that this cereal tastes like the amazing Chocolate Honey Bunches of Oats that have been long discontinued and not like the comparatively choco-lame Honey Bunches of Oats Morning Energy: Chocolatey Almond Crunch.
Finally, there’s Baked Oat Bites. This looks just like Cracklin’ Oat Bran but with an added, sexy drizzle. Oh, man, did I really just write “sexy?” Forgive me, but Cracklin’ Oat Bran is a spiritual experience, so the thought of adding more to that has me approaching nirvana at 88mph.
The Buddhist kind, not the “A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido” kind.
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No Joker-ing around here, folks! Coming in just in time to promote the upcoming Batman vs. Superman movie, General Mills has released two new cereals, one for each of the two titular heroes.
So call Alfred over and have him pour you a bowl of Batman cereal, which has chocolate and strawberry flavored bats (even though they look more like brown X-wings!). I was wondering where Count Chocula and Franken Berry went now that Halloween is over: they must have merged their life essences together for this cereal. Somewhere, the left out Lex Boo-ther is brooding.
And speaking of Superman, the Man of Steel gets his own cereal, too, though it hopefully doesn’t contain any actual steel (35% of my daily iron will suffice). These little tan, Chaos Emerald-shaped pieces are caramel flavored. I can only assume their mission is to take down Cap’n Crunch’s current monopoly on the caramel cereal market. Look out, Cap’n: your empire is about to be…a-salted.
These cereals were spotted by Toronto Batman himself at his (presumably Gotham City-based) grocery store. I’m sure he pushed all of Superman’s cereal boxes to the back, too. I mean, a guy’s gotta get whatever strategic advantage he can when his opponent is nearly invincible!
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My first thought when seeing these was, “if I made my train out of those Rice Krispies with Holiday Colors, I’d probably generate enough Christmas spirit to overclock the Clausometer on Santa’s sleigh.”
And then my second thought was, “They should have dressed Tom Hanks up like Snap, Crackle, or Pop and called this ‘The Polar Krispress.'”
Oh, and then my third thought was, “Crap, crap, crap: people are giving me weird looks for snapping photos of cereal craft kits whilst muttering and chuckling to myself. Play it cool, Dan, and no one will call security.”
So while no, I don’t think these sets are new for 2015, it’s the little things like these kits that makes walking around grocery stores in December feel all the more magical. And if your first thought while reading that was, “who the heck considers grocery shopping a holiday activity?” then congratulations, you’re far more socially adjusted than me.
I also wanted to point out how disappointed I am in my local Meijer for not putting those new seasonal Krispies next to the set: that’s Marketing 101, people!
Either way, I’m eager to make these soon, if only because elaborate food crafts allow me to escape family holiday drama with the excuse of “sorry, I was too busy frosting badass flames on my locomotive-shaped brick of marshmallows and butter to notice Aunt Clara’s meltdown.”
If you’d like to see your picture or thoughts featured on a “Spooned & Spotted” post, click yourself right on over to our submissions page, or just email us at cerealously.net@gmail.com.
Whether you heard about it or not, these are groundbreaking times for cereal. Why is that?
Because the ground is breaking with all the people upset about the loss of artificial colorings in General Mills cereals. Okay, maybe no one’s really all that upset about it, but as someone who has always valued the opportunity to pour bowl after bowl of technicolor, spherical rainbows, this is going to take some adjusting. Continue reading →
It’s beginning to look a lot like…Froot Loops! Everywhereeee you goooo!
While I can only sit and wish that the sky sprinkled drifts of colorful Froot Loops onto my lawn instead of snow (I’d much rather shovel the driveway with a spoon), I guess I can still be thankful that Kellogg’s is getting into the spirit of the season with this new winter variant of Froot Loops.
I haven’t been able to find this cereal in stores yet (though the snow has already arrived outside. *Grumble grumble*), but these were spotted by reader Marc P. Thanks as usual, Marc! Now what exactly are “Winter Blast Marshmallows?”
Are they minty toothpaste flavored? (Gee, I sure hope not.)
Are they snickerdoodle flavored? (Gee, I sure hope so.)
Are they just plain ol’ cereal marshmallows recolored to look like snowballs? (Gee…that’s probably the case.)
Regardless, I look forward to munching a bowlful of these with a mug of hot cocoa, a roaring fireplace, and A Christmas Story on infinite repeat (Froot Loops are a major award!).
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The sugary, chalky dust has finally cleared, and the winners of Lucky Charms wildly viral Marshmallows Only contest have been named (I, unfortunately, was one of the many un-Lucky ones). Apparently looking to follow up on this fame, Lucky Charms has released a new box design, featuring a particularly cartoony and youthful design for Lucky the Leprechaun.
From his first impish design in the 1960s, to his more humanoid and recognizable humanoid form, and even through his brief replacement by Waldo the Wizard in the 1970s, Lucky has a had an impressive life cycle. It’s unknown whether this design will continue, or if it will disappear faster than a spoonful of marshmallows.
The back of the box is even cooler: every Lucky Charms marshmallow is given their own anthropomorphized personality! I love the Adventure Time vibe I’m getting from the art style, though it does make me feel a little worse about munching through a bag of these poor souls.
So what do you think, cereal lovers? Do you find this new Lucky charming, or is the design quite sucky? Personally, I think he looks like he belongs in a Fairly Oddparents crossover episode.
If you’d like to see your picture (I spotted this at Meijer) or thoughts featured on a “Spooned & Spotted” post, click yourself right on over to our submissions page, or just email us at cerealously.net@gmail.com.
If you’re an American fan of cereal, Star Wars, or both (and really, who isn’t a fan of both?), it might be time to Force your way over the northern border, because Post Foods in Canada has released a line of 7 limited edition boxes to promote the upcoming release of Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens, which is set to release this December.
Man, I’m not sure which I’m more excited for anymore: the holiday season, or the holi-Dagobah season.
