Tag Archives: raisin bran

Review: Raisin Bran Toasted Oats & Honey

Give me the opportunity to ideate a new Raisin Bran (Crunch or Otherwise) flavor, and I’ll come back to you with an annotated binder of possibilities, each obscure taste more convoluted and full of cultural callbacks than the last.

You give the ideas guys at Kellogg’s the same chance, and they’ll show you a million ways to change the stuff without really doing a whole lot of anything. Raisin Bran with Cranberries—a dried fruit tasting basically the same as raisins, but tougher to chew. Raisin Bran with Vanilla—they actively made the stuff worse with an overpowering, industrial vanilla veneer. Oh, and why not just chuck some bananas in there?

Wait, that one gets a pass. It at least calls back to every on-box proposed Raisin Bran serving of yore.

But this newest exhibition of nothingness is, at least conceptually, the most offensive of all. The ideological barrier between Kellogg’s Raisin Bran and Raisin Bran Crunch is thicker than a three-wide cluster of stuck-together bran flakes. The two cereals attract very different types of people. And while I respect regular Raisin Bran, it’s not for me. I love me some Crunchy bunches of honey-toasted granola—which is why it’s egregious that “Toasted Oats & Honey” is positioned here as a spinoff of plain ol’ Raisin Bran.

It should’ve been called Raisin Bran Crunch 2: Deliciously Deconstructed. Accurately allocating valor is important, Kellogg’s! Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: honey, kellogg's, raisin bran. 3 Comments

Dec. ’20

News: Two New Kellogg’s Cereals, Two New Kellogg’s Cereal Bars

While General Mills dropped their entire Early 2021 cereal lineup in one concentrated dump of rendered cardboard, Kellogg’s is sharing their New Year’s offerings in drips & drabs. with each of the products pictured here hitting headlines across the past week or so.

First we have two cereals on opposing ends of the sugary–healthy cereal spectrum. Cinnamon Roll Frosted Mini-Wheats clearly has no reservations about frosting full-gloss, twinkling and gooey cinna-bun flavor atop its thatched squares. Granted, Frosted Mini-Wheats variants often aren’t flavored that potently, regardless of how rich their dessert inspirations may be. In fact, while I’m sure Cinnamon Roll Frosted Mini-Wheats will taste just fine, this isn’t entirely new territory for the brand. Cinnamon Roll Frosted Mini-Wheats Little Bites were around in 2012, and I’m a firm believer in the superior flavor of Mini-Mini-Wheats—simply because they have a higher frosting-to-wheat ratio.

Likewise, Special K with REAL WHOLE BLUEBERRIES seems kind of like a downgrade from Blueberry and Lemon Clusters Special K, which may not have had whole blueberries, but it had freakin’ yogurt clusters. That’s way more deserving of an obnoxiously all-caps box banner. But hey, it’ll probably also taste alright, if not good! Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: News. Tags: froot loops, frosted flakes, kellogg's, raisin bran. Leave a comment

Oct. ’19

Review: Kellogg’s All Together Cereal

Cereal mixology is a topic close to my heart.

Granted, I don’t actually mix cereals often—usually when I’m running uncomfortably low on one and/or the other cereal—but the infinite conceptual liberty that comes from architecting palate-impacting pairings that transform a familiar cereal experience into a work of edible interpretive art. And that’s before you add different milks to the equation!

There are obvious mixes, like Donettes + Honey Bun Cereal + Milky Coffee.

There are weirder ideas, like Banana Creme Frosted Flakes + Millville Peanut Butter & Jelly Puffs + Vanilla Almond Milk + Maple Syrup (I call it “An Unforgettable Bruncheon”).

And then there are mixes so uncouth and dubious that they border on cereal slander. Mixes like the one proposed and encouraged (but never confidently owned) by Kellogg’s in its All Together Cereal.

Released in support of GLAAD and LGBTQ+ youth for Spirit Day, All Together Cereal is a $20 novelty box stuffed with six miniature cereal boxes that, theoretically, you’re meant to gob all up in the same bowl as a symbol of intersectional solidarity. Of course, when you realize that Kellogg’s is only donating up to $50,000, a ‘stunning’ 1/258,640 of their annual revenue, All Together Cereal becomes a pretty obvious face for Rainbow Capitalism.

So while the concept is good-natured and silly, it has its share of ethical undoings before even cracking it open. But hey, might as well see just how offensive the proposed cereal concoction is, too! Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: corn flakes, froot loops, frosted flakes, kellogg's, mini-wheats, raisin bran, rice krispies. 5 Comments

Jul. ’19

Review: Vanilla Almond Raisin Bran Crunch

The more time passes, I think the more our society is not just normalizing raisin bran, but celebrating it. Gone are the days of clumsy bathroom humor. Gone is the Seinfeldian slander. And gone are the chronic misinterpretations of the stuff’s sugar content (the servings are heavier. heavier I tell you!)

Now, I like to believe that we as a culture can appreciate and thank our sun-dried stewards of more nutritionally substantive sweetness.

Even in our darkest hours, we’ve learned to praise the sun.

To evidence this, I’d point to the wealth of limited edition Kellogg’s Raisin Bran varieties we’ve seen lately, all of which have been arguably effective evolutions of the twice-scooped formula. Apple Strawberry hit us with an unexpectedly creative haymaker, while RB + Bananas boldly did what no lazy breakfaster has done before: acted on the diced-fruit “serving suggestion” seen on cereal boxes everywhere.

Vanilla Almond Raisin Bran continues that curiosity-driven tradition with a flavor pairing that’s more familiar, but perhaps more fitting. Rather than overtly fruity, V.A. takes R.B. back to some earthier thematic roots.

But enough mumblings about motif: let’s munch!

Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 9 rating, almond, kellogg's, raisin bran, vanilla. Leave a comment

Apr. ’19

News: Vanilla Almond Raisin Bran Crunch is Coming Soon!

Somewhere high above Earth, heavenly bodies are gambling with our breakfast. Once or twice a year, the Raisin Bran sun, with his soul-melting smile, rolls dice using his twin scoops of divine electromagnetic balance to determine what the next Kellogg’s Raisin Bran cereal flavor will be.

Apple Strawberry.
Bunch-less Bananas.
Cranberries.
Uh…Omega-3 Flaxseed?

It’s true that ol’ Helios’ has had a mixed bag of cereal success stories, with most RB & Co. variants failing to outshine the legacy of unadulterated Raisin Bran Crunch. But Kellogg’s latest round of raisin-ed roulette feels a lot safer—and more promising—than previous iterations. It’s Vanilla Almond, and its closest limited edition kin is probably 2012’s post-sleeper hit Cinnamon Almond Raisin Bran.

Granted, Vanilla Almond already has a leg up on Cinnamon Almond by the simple inclusion of Crunch. Since the cereal’s scattered with almond slivers, my guess is that the vanilla will be infused into the granola clusters, which would be a clever complement to the honey already binding the sweetly sticky oats within.

No word on exactly when this cereal will drop, nor when a higher resolution box render will be available. But until this scoopin’ cereal sharpens up its act, I’d recommend all ‘nanner fans stock up on Raisin Bran with Bananas, as it’s likely to be sunsetted to give rise to this new nutty dawn. If you happen to know more about Vanilla Almond Raisin Bran Crunch, or any upcoming cereal, you can visit our Submissions page to share.

Posted by dan g.. Categories: News. Tags: almond, news, raisin bran, vanilla. 2 Comments

Jun. ’18

Review: Kellogg’s Raisin Brain with Bananas Cereal

Donot mess with bananas.

I’m convinced that, for a while now, whatever divine, potassium-based organisms control the world’s banana populations, they’re powerful enough to initiate a new, yellower world order from the safety of their unassuming peels.

How do I know this? Just look at every banana cereal of note: the winsome weirdness of Urkel Os. The untold smoothie sorcery of Minions Cereal. The nutty nuance of Banana Nut Cheerios. And the baked-in brown sugar bravery of Banana Bread Shreddies.

They hardly got any buzz, yet they nearly gave me an intoxicated buzz of ethereally fruity deliciousness.

That kind of untapped, Luke Skywalker-troubling power is what makes me both fear and salivate over Kellogg’s new Raisin Bran with Bananas. RB isn’t the Kellogg’s mainstay I’d expected to take on dried ‘nanner discs (hello, Special K), but the healthiness of dry fruit does seem like an auspicious counterpart for a cereal so famously mocked for its droll, fiberous flavor.

So like Revenge of the Nerds, the oft-lampooned Raisin Bran sun is ditching his usual bunches and letting slip a fury of bunch-powered flakes.

Be careful which heavenly body you call boring in middle school.

Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: banana, kelloggs, raisin bran. 8 Comments

Apr. ’18

News: Wild Berry Froot Loops, Banana Raisin Bran, & Vanilla Latte Mini-Wheats!

https://www.instagram.com/p/BiDj6SInltB/?taken-by=markie_devo

If you need a minute to process the title you just read, feel free to step outside, have a deep breath/smoke/Tums, or maybe just scream “It’s my money, and I need to spend it on cereal now!”

Yes, it’s not often we get an unexpected cereal bomb like the one Kellogg’s just dropped. Rumors about Wild Berry Froot Loops, Banana Raisin Bran, and Vanilla Latte Mini-Wheats have been swirling around the internet recently, but now that we have photo confirmation from markie_devo on Instagram, we’re free to let our country divide itself into a three-party system about which flavor will be best. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: News. Tags: froot loops, kelloggs, mini-wheats, raisin bran. 1 Comment

Apr. ’17

Classic Review: Kellogg’s Raisin Bran Cereal

If keeping up-to-date on new cereals is this website’s main mission, then its side quest is to review every kind of raisin bran available on shelves. To everyone out there who hates raisin bran: I’m sorry, but I have to do this for me. As a self-appointed man of the bran, I want my legacy to be “mild-mannered dude with a bizarre passion for pairing dried, wrinkly fruit with grains and milk.”

That phrase better be in my eulogy, or else I swear I’m haunting all of you.

I’ve made good progress on my raisin bran review journey: from the world’s first raisin to undoubtedly the world’s best (so far), I’ve populated Cerealously with enough synonyms for “juicy raisins” to make a thesaurus go extinct. Of course, there are some notable absences—Raisin Nut Bran’s life-changing nut-covered raisins come to mind—and some that slipped into discontinuation before I could photograph them—rest in lame, flavorless pieces, Total Raisin Bran—but the biggest name missing from my raisin bran library has always been Kellogg’s plain ol’, original Raisin Bran.

I think it’s time we put this case to rest—and put the 98% of my readers who don’t care about raisin bran to sleep. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 5 rating, kelloggs, raisin bran. 7 Comments