Tag Archives: post

Spooned & Spotted: Dunkin’ Cereal (Mocha Latte & Caramel Macchiato!)

(UPDATE: Just today, Post confirmed these Dunkin’ Cereals will be released in late August, with 1/10th the amount of caffeine in a coffee cup per serving!)

Well this was certainly more of a jolt to my brain than any shot of espresso.

Long-time Cerealously readers may remember a rumored Dunkin’ Donuts Caramel Macchiato Cereal that was rumored a year and a half ago, evidenced only by an image with fewer pixels than the cereal has grams of sugar per serving. But then…nothing ever came of it, which wasn’t too much of a shocker, since the cereal was alleged to be caffeinated, which seems like a recipe for wall-bouncing disaster to any unsuspecting parent. And Caramel Macchiato wasn’t the only bit of blurry breakfast gossip that never materialized—though perhaps hope for Cinnamon Honey-Maid and Teddy Grahams Cereal need not be extinguished by doubtful dairy just yet.

Folks, call your boss and take off work, ’cause Dunkin’s pouring us a doppio.

Snack_Alert on Instagram is the first to share proof that both Caramel Macchiato Cereal and a Mocha Latte Cereal are coming soon from Post and Dunkin’. Though it’s doubtful that these crunchy coffees will be caffeinated for real, they’re both made with real Dunkin’ coffee, instantly elevating this above any hypothetical Starbucks Cereal (yeah, I went there). Of course, Dunkin’ has big shoes to fill: the non-slip work boots of Fred the Baker, to be specific.

Dunkin’ Donuts’ original 1988 cereal came in both Glazed and Chocolate varieties. The cereal didn’t last long, but its colorful pastel box alone has made it one of cereal’s most unforgettable discontinuations.

Will the puffs and marshmallows of 2020’s Dunkin’ cereals be able to live up to this reputation? Well, without the ability to erase time and bring us closer to their uncertain release date, we’ll all just have to hunker down with some Timbits Cereal.

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Specials. Tags: caramel, coffee, post, spooned & spotted. Leave a comment

Jul. ’20

Review: Honey Maid Cinnamon Graham Cereal

This is a momentous review. The kind of review that deserves a content warning: this article contains atomically divisive statements, polarizing particles capable of sparking a potential second Cereal Civil War—we all remember the seismic defeat of Quake by Quisp in the Great Quaker Quarrel of ’71. Anyway, if you made it through that sentence, I figure you’re ready to weather my scalding hot take:

Post’s Honey Maid Cinnamon Graham Cereal is better than Cinnamon Toast Crunch. In fact, it’s not even close—it’s a bona fide cinnamon slobber-knocker. For with one sweet and sweeping swing of its ingredients list, Honey Maid Graham Cereal simply bests CTC at a foundational level, rendering it undeserving of further comparison.

Cinnamon Toast Crunch is one of the most popular cereals of all time. That’s why I’m ready to accept the zinger slings and meme arrows of many doubtful Cinnamon Toast Crunchers. But I advise you, before saying more, to try a box of Honey Maid Cinnamon Graham Cereal for yourself and decide. You may not agree, but I doubt you’ll be disappointed you tried. Anyway, on to the real meat of this graham-burger beefcake of a new cereal.

Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: cinnamon, graham, post. 12 Comments

Mar. ’20

Review: Magic Fruity Pebbles (Turns Milk Blue!)

Blue.

Like it or not, it’s already clear that blue may very well be the defining color of 2020. I mean, we’re *only* 1/6th of the way through the year, and we’ve already seen:

a) Pantone [bafflingly] name “Classic Blue” as their color of the year,

b) Cap’n Crunch drip liquefied Na’vi slime onto our pancakes,

c) Cereal blogger Dan G. succumb and be reborn by the Midwest winter blues, and

d) I’ve tried to scream the idea of La Croix kegs into existence until I’m blue in the face. La Craigs, people!!

Now, Fred and Barney are bringing a touch of Brontosaurian blue to modern breakfasts, too, with Magic Fruity Pebbles—a cereal that sells itself on the concept of turning milk blue, which is admittedly so not-innovative by this point that it feels anachronistically appropriate for this prehistoric pair.

But are these pinkened Pebbles’ gimmick still worth gulping down? I’m willing to die my intestines a peculiar shade of azure in order to answer that. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: pebbles, post. Leave a comment

Feb. ’20

Review: Timbits Cereal (Birthday Cake & Chocolate Glazed)

Bits.

We all love ’em.

Or at least I do. I love all bits, whether it’s exponentially sugar-fortified cereal dust, forgotten salt-stewed French fry-lets, or the last messy bite of a restaurant meal that you saved as a parting gift for yourself after boxing up the rest of the leftovers—the very same last bite you had to awkwardly tell the waiter you were saving as he’s midway through lifting the plate from your desperate mitts. Or maybe that’s just me.

No matter how you spin it, I’ll always love bits more than pieces. Well, unless it’s those honey mustard and onion pretzel pieces. And I wouldn’t be surprised if my strange bit-diction stems from a long childhood relationship with Timbits: those lovable lil totally-not-doughnut-holes from Tim Hortons that just about any teacher who had a hope of winning their class’ trust would bring in by the party pack-ful on syllabus day.

Though Tim Hortons and his namesake ‘bits were a source of warm nostalgia for my fellow Michiganders, the coffee chain is a more deeply in-granulated cultural epicenter in its country of origin, Canada. So it makes sense that the first ever Timbits Cereal would be released exclusively north of the states—even if I firmly believe my mitten of origin should be considered an annexed state of the Hortonian Empire. Thanks to Cereal Time’s Gabe Fonseca, I was able to secure boxes of both Timbits Cereal flavors, Birthday Cake and Chocolate Glazed.

So let’s all grab a coffee, PBR coffee, or perhaps some strange soup of poutine and Labatt Blue and see if these itty bitty Timbits are a slam dunk. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: birthday cake, canada, chocolate, post. Leave a comment

Jan. ’20

Review: Frosted Honey Bunches of Oats

In 2020 we’re staying honest with those we love, so I’m gonna come right out and say it:

Honey Bunches of Oats, how in your infinite wisdom have you made the most tearable cereal bags in the breakfast aisle?

There are already enough things in this world that I have trouble pulling apart without blunder nor bother: perforated notebook paper, most pieces of mail, command strips off a wall. My delicious cereal shouldn’t fissure and fizzle out cereal spillage at a moment’s notice.

This is difficult to cope with, especially since Honey Bunches of Oats is a) built on a near spiritual trinity of corn flakes, frosted corn flakes and granola bunches, but this triple blessing is also b) very consistent at producing flavorful varietals.

(We don’t talk about the less savory ‘Zilla ’98s of the franchise.)

Yet HBoO’s latest release—whose bag was torn asunder by inescapable fate—seems, to me, to be its ostensibly least original idea in recent memory (with one notably irrelevant example). Simply culling one third of the cereal, coating it with sticky sauce, and shoving it back in the mix? As someone who values a good novelty cereal, from the start I’m skeptical. Will this be the equivalent of a bubbly Disney remake that’s so saccharine it crashes lifelessly?

At least give us some crudely handsome CGI bunches at that point! Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: honey bunches, post. 5 Comments

Dec. ’19

News: Upcoming Cereal Round-Up! (Special K, Reese’s Puffs, Honey Bunches & Cinnamon Toast Crunch)

♫ January, January: brings Dan no sanctuary. ♫

What? If no one else is going to start writing New Year’s carols, I might as well start drafting one to commemorate the first month of the year’s traditionally tumultuous tidal wave of new cereals. Don’t get me wrong, I’m geeked to see 2020’s freshest resolution-busters, but I will say that it’s a difficult time to both keep up and keep my fingers from burning down to the nubs from both friction and fructose.

Oh well: no strain, no whole grain. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: News. Tags: general mills, honey bunches, kellogg's, post, reese's puffs, special k, toast crunch. 2 Comments

Nov. ’19

Review: Hostess Twinkies Cereal

There is a new cereal dichotomy blooming before our very tongues. If it comes to civil war, whose side will you be on?

The monolithic masses of the Kellogg’s Krusaders, their defenses made impenetrable and especially unpalatable by pounds of cushiony, bland corn ‘n’ sugar rings?

Or the silent-but-growing cabal of crunchily dusted Powdered Paladins, whose cereals are equally sweet, but, you know, actually good?

Yeah, the choice is pretty obvious: with the Economically Chintzy Empire, we get Baby Sharks and celebratory man-birds. Neither is fit for battle—unless Kellogg’s brings in a Caticorn that’s actually equine in stature—against the trustiest, dustiest and most delectable division led by Powdered Donettes Cereal, with Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch and Chocolate Peanut Butter Cheerios as its right- and left-hand confidants. Honestly: if you did a cross-comparison between Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch and Kellogg’s Elf on the Shelf Sugar Cookie Cereal, you’d find a certain starry sugar-corn Rehash in the Trash, where it so boldly and brashly deserves to be.

I also know that overly flavor-powdered cereals can be divisive, as revealed by the internet’s violently split opinion on Frosted G.O.A.T.nettes—err, I mean Donettes, of course. So will this camp be pleased or feel sucker-punched by Twinkies Cereal, the latest dusted cake-crop in Hostess’ Cereal line? The answer is only a bowlful of crème larvae away: Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, Hostess, post. 1 Comment

Oct. ’19

Spooned & Spotted: Hostess Twinkies Cereal

Somebody call Cap’n Crunch, because there are some new golden doubloons hitting the breakfast table.

For the past three months, “Twinkies Cereal” has been phantasmically dancing atop the tongues of cereal lovers like Twinkie the Kid at whatever spectral square-dance they send brand mascots to to purgatorily pass time in between discontinuations. Sure, we’ve seen the theoretical box for a while, but Post has a (recent) history of leaking cereal ideas that never end up amounting to anything.

Stay gold, Teddy Grahams Cereal. Stay golder than a Golden Graham.

But any doubt about these crunchy golden sponge-cakelets can finally be put to rest (in the family plot, between Fruit Pie the Magician and Happy Ho Ho). Thanks to continued correspondent Devin, we now have clear optics on the fully produced cereal itself, meaning it’s rapidly approaching release. And while it certainly looks just about how you’d expect—tragically, without the tiny, cream-stuffed exhaust holes on the bottom—Devin also provided his synopsis of the flavor:

“Tastes a lot like the Donettes cereal. The cereal itself seems familiar, but I can’t put my finger on it…”

With a forecast that titillating, I now feel I must steel my taste buds to try and recognize any arcane analogues. Here’s hoping it’s closer to “bowl full of mini Golden Oreos” than “bowl full of Golden Oreo O’s.”

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Specials. Tags: Hostess, post, spooned & spotted. 2 Comments