Tag Archives: peanut butter

Mini Review: Reese’s Puffs Bats Cereal

Holy early Autumn, Bartman! Just yesterday I was fending off the Sprites of Summer with honeysuckle and incense, and now you’re telling me the Bats of Fall are already echolocally a-knockin’?

Well forget the onion bread we have in the oven: it’s garlic season.

But not until after a brief detour through Dog-Day Eager Beaver season. See, the likes of Tony the Tiger, Toucan Sam, and now the constituents of some Count Choco-Peanut Buttula love to release their annual signature cereals before the dog days have finished yipping. While this is great for Halloween cereal lovers, it’s admittedly a bit sad when I overeagerly and unrestrainedly review them all before mid-September and I’m left writing about the trigonometry of Frute Brute’s incisors by 10/31.

So while I’m admitting I have a problem, instead of doing anything about it I’ll just pretend I’m eating Reese’s Puffs Sideways TIE Fighters. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, chocolate, general mills, halloween, peanut butter, reese's puffs. 1 Comment

Jul. ’18

Review: Quaker Peanut Butter & Honey Oatmeal

I love unconventional pairings.

Sure, peanut butter & honey might not be that strange, but compared to those square food pairs—PB&J, Chocolate & Peanut Butter, Chocolate Strawberry: you know I love you, but it’s been done, mate—PB&H belong more with other alt combos like Banana Maple, Raisin Walnut & Honey, or Coconut & Caramel.

Hey, I guess Quaker Oats is pretty good at this. I predict if oatmeal flavor permeations are going to keep up this rate of release, we’ll see a flavor like this mutate into Peanut Butter & Pickle Oatmeal by 2020.

But until then, let’s dive into a piping hot bowl of freshly microwaved Honey Butters & Oats. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, honey, oatmeal, peanut butter, quaker. 3 Comments

Jun. ’18

Review: Peanut Butter & Cocoa Pebbles Cereal

Yabba dabba DUUUUDE!

That was my dinosaur bone-a fide reaction after smelling, eating, and then continuing to eat Post’s latest entry in the Flintstone clan’s second most vitamin-packed series of products: Peanut Butter & Cocoa Pebbles cereal.

The reason I was so surprised was because PB&C Peebs (the two of us are close now, so I can use pet names) is the first Pebbles cereal since Sugar Cookie to win me over.

What's your unpopular cereal opinion?

I personally feel Pebbles are overrated, get soggy too fast, and just make me hungrier.

— Cerealously 🥛🥣 (@cerealouslynet) April 29, 2018

See, I’ve historically treated the cereals with snark and mild derision, as I’m not usually a fan of airy cereals that leave me hungrier after I’ve finished them.

But here, oh sweet Barney here we have a cereal tasty enough to justify a vicious cycle of crunch-munch-repeat.

So hold onto your novelty Jurassic Park hats, because I’m about to walk you through it bite by trilobite.

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Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 9 rating, chocolate, peanut butter, pebbles, post. 2 Comments

May. ’18

Quick Review: Wild Kratts PB&J Power Discs Cereal

Entering this review, PB&J and cereal have a flawless track record.

After 2016’s fantastic JIF PB&J Cereal and the ’80s’ mythical PB&J Cereal—which was apparently so transcendentally mind-blowing that no one knows how it tasted—Wild Kratts (whose cartoon series I won’t pretend to know anything about: I thought it was a bootleg Thundercats) has a 100% perfect legacy to stack up to with its appropriately stackable PB&J Power Discs.

I just hope I can finish this review before a rogue box of PB&J Cereal falls into my lap and wipes my memory. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 3 rating, pb&j, peanut butter. 3 Comments

Feb. ’18

Review: Ideal Oats Oatmeal – 3 Flavors!

Look, oatmeal is no one’s idea of ideal.

Sure, it’s healthy, wholesome, warm, nourishing, and all that jazz, but it’s also ugly. Those moist, lumpy, and occasional drippy beige chunks? Second only to canned tuna on my list of “tasty foods I’d swipe left on if Betty Crocker made a dating app.”

That’s why I’m giving props to Ideal Oats for trying to glamorize, or at least revolutionize, the classic breakfast with a face for radio. Billed as “Oatmeal, Reinvented,” Ideal Oats not only aims to help the fitness-conscious with 20g of protein per, but it also aims to overthrow the oatmeal aisle oligopoly of Apple Cinnamon and Maple Brown Sugar by bringing in never-before-seen flavors.

Needless to say, as someone whose recent exercise log primarily consists of long walks to the back of the grocery store to buy more Reese’s Cup coffee creamer, it’s the flavors that make most excited for this review.

All three cups featured below were sent to me by Ideal Oats, but I promise the freeness of the oats won’t influence my review. When it comes to peanut butter and bananas, I don’t lie: not after the infamous “Mario Kart PB&J Incident of 2008.”

I’m still finding tear-stained crumbs in my carpet. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Uncategorized. Tags: 7 rating, 8 rating, apple, banana, cinnamon, oatmeal, peanut butter. 3 Comments

Jan. ’18

Review: Nature Valley Nut Butter Granolas – Peanut Butter & Honey Almond Butter

Peanuts and almonds have an oligopoly over the nut butter market.

There, I said it. If Vladimir Nutin and his secret legume agents take me down, you’ll find my full manifesto buried 50 paces east of the old Siberian walnut factory.

All I’m saying is that, while peanut and almond butter is good and all, I think other nut butters deserve their moment in the sunflower oil-emulsified sun.

Cashew butter is delightful. Pecan butter is an underrated gem. And wingnut butter contains so much iron!

Yet General Mills and Nature Valley chose to use peanut butter and almond butter to flavor their newest pouches of granola. I’ll forgive them for now because they used honey in their almond butter granola, but if I’m martyred for this expository review, I’ll be leaving a scathing eulogy.

Oh well, might as well munch while I wait for my door to be punched down. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, almonds, general mills. 7 rating, granola, nature valley, peanut butter. 1 Comment

Jan. ’18

Review: Kashi GoLean Peanut Butter Crunch Cereal

I hope with a name like “Peanut Butter Crunch,” that Kashi’s newest GoLean cereal is at least made with crunchy peanut butter.

The creamy vs. crunchy debate has been waged for decades, with proponents of each texture so ardently supporting their preferred legume paste that I’d bet America’s political system was modeled after our competitive two-PB-party system. I mean, this civil war is so divisively volatile that the opposing sides can only agree on one thing: that the unspoken third party, chewy peanut butter*, is so abhorrent that it had to be wiped from the marketplace sometime after 19-dickety-two.

*Google may tell you chewy peanut butter isn’t a real thing, but that’s just what the Illumi-nutty want you to think.

I personally grew up sheltered: my parents only bought creamy. But after experimenting with crunchy in college, I’ve come out a changed man: one who loves his butter flecked with crisped chunks of roasted goodness. Perhaps it’s my destiny to make peace between the two PB camps, and I’m meant to start by reviewing this Kashi Peanut Butter Crunch cereal, which blends the flavor of creamy PB with crunchy bits.

No matter what, I won’t let anyone silence me. Well, except for the peanut butter that’ll inevitably gum my mouth shut. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 7 rating, kashi, peanut butter. 2 Comments

Jan. ’18

Review: Peanut Butter Chocolate Blasted Shreds Cereal

If you, like me, set a New Year’s Resolution to get fit, but have been set back by leftover pie, half-empty frosting cans, new cereals, and every other sweet treat whose scent lifts me off the ground like a euphoric Looney Tunes character, then I have a solution for you.

Just buy this cereal and tell people you’ve been getting Shredded at the gym every day.

But don’t tell them that you really mean you’ve been eating Peanut Butter Chocolate Blasted Shreds straight from the box in the little nook by the broken cardio machines, snarling at any post-jazzercise grandma unfortunate enough to cross your crumb-strewn path.

Not-so-secret gluttony aside, I’m stoked to review the first of General Mills’ two new Blasted Shreds cereals (the other being Cinnamon Toast Crunch). I’ve heard many good things about Peanut Butter Chocolate, with some ranking it as a last-minute dark horse in their Best Cereals of 2017 list, and others just in awe that the whole bicep-curl-friendly box weighs over a pound.

So whether you’re bench pressing the box or just doing some spoon-to-mouth deadlifts, let’s all get absolutely Shredded together. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 7 rating, chocolate, general mills, peanut butter. 23 Comments