Tag Archives: oatmeal

Review: Quaker Banana & Maple Oatmeal

Ever had a Canadian Elvis?

It’s a traditional and totally not-made-up sandwich native to North North America that remixes Mr. Presley’s favorite peanut butter and banana sandwich by swapping George Washington Carver’s creamy (or chunky, choosy moms don’t discriminate) legume spread with the sticky sweet life blood of Canada’s flag-starring national tree.

Quaker must be a fan of the Canadian Elvis, because it’s the only logic I can see behind their new(ish) Banana & Maple Oatmeal flavor. Outside of banana pancakes (which are usually paired with compote instead of syrup anyway) and a certain tragic incident in my childhood involving a rogue monkey with a bottle of Mrs. Butterworth, I’ve never heard of banana and maple going together.

Chocolate and bananas? Delicious.
Ice cream and bananas? You couldn’t split us apart.
Peanut butter and bananas? I hunka hunka burnin’ love it.

But maple syrup and bananas is largely unexplored territory—a final frontier worthy of a new Star Trek series. Maple is one of my favorite all-time flavors—I want my funeral procession to end at an IHOP—so Quaker’s got a lot to prove by pairing it with a fruit that barely makes my top 10.

(Though “Maple & Strawberry” probably wouldn’t sound any more palatable) Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 6 rating, maple, oatmeal, quaker. 8 Comments

Mar. ’17

Review: Trader Joe’s Tart Cherry, Chia and Pumpkin Seed Oatmeal

Consider the humble cherry.

Long-overshadowed by strawberry, the people’s champion, and grape, its cheaper taste analogue, cherry has been trapped in a breakfast aisle pitfall for decades. Sure, there’s Frute Brute, who’s currently trapped in General Mills’s monster mausoleum for…well…ever, probably. And there are Cherry Pop-Tarts, who go unnoticed like the rosy-cheeked nerd girl in every teen movie whose sweetness is only revealed to the one boy brave enough to give her a chance (my Pop-Tart metaphors are complex).

But other than those two and a few obscure health cereals, cherry is very rarely seen as breakfast fare. Which is unfair, because any fruit that tops sundaes and acts as the Kool-Aid Man’s lifeblood deserves a spot at my table.

Thankfully, Trader Joe—a longtime liberator of unsung and under-appreciated flavors—is giving cherry a shot in his latest instant oatmeal cup. This is the same Joseph who once one-upped Pop-Tarts by cramming both cherry and pomegranate into a single toaster pastry, a mad feat I haven’t seen since 1998, when The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, sending him plummeting 16ft through an announcer’s table.

Staying true to his squirrelly status as “the Uncle Joey of grocery stores,” Trader Joe also stuffed chia and pumpkin seeds into this plastic oat cylinder. Let’s celebrate the dawn of spring by watching this one blossom in the microwave. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 5 rating, cherry, non cereal, oatmeal, trader joe's. 1 Comment

Feb. ’17

Review: Welch’s Strawberry Oatmeal Bar Baking Mix, from Betty Crocker

I’ve reviewed oatmeal before.

I’ve reviewed cereal bars before.

But not until today have the two joined forces for a tasty crossover that’s more satisfying than The Jetsons Meet The Flintstones, Scooby-Doo Meets the Harlem Globetrotters, and The Jimmy Timmy Power Hour combined. You’ll notice that I’ve never reviewed granola bars, either. That’s because raw oats are simply one step of effort too far away from pipin’ hot oatmeal or Cracklin’ Oat Bran. In my eyes, it takes a microwave or a mill press to turn plain grains into breakfast.

So it’s time to grow up, granola bars, because oatmeal bars have everything you do—just with a lot more gumption. Oh, and in this case: oodles of strawberry jelly, too. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 9 rating, cereal bars, general mills, non cereal, oatmeal, strawberry. 9 Comments

Feb. ’17

Spooned & Spotted (Canada): Lucky Charms Oatmeal & Cinnamon Toast Crunch Oatmeal

That’s it: I’m moving.

For most of my time running this blog, I’ve had to console my Canadian friends who can’t get any U.S.-exclusive cereals without enlisting an expensive flock of highly trained carrier pigeons to do their dirty work. But now? We’re only 2 months into 2017, and Canada has already got a Quebec-sized pile of delicious exclusives!

First they got arguably the world’s first banana bread-flavored cereal. Then they got the coolest Corn Flakes box you could possibly wake up to. And now they’ve got Lucky Charms Oatmeal and Cinnamon Toast Crunch Oatmeal. At this rate of awesomeness I bet they’ll have an ice cream sandwich-flavored Cap’n Crunch cereal by next week. And it’ll somehow involve Pokémon, too.

These new oatmeals, based off two of General Mills’s most popular cereals, mix squishy-licious instant oatmeal with either rainbow Lucky Charms marshmallows or a swirling auburn galaxy of crunchy Cinnamon Toast Crunch bits. Either way, you can’t go wrong—though I wonder if hot oatmeal would make Lucky’s marbits instantly melt into technicolor puddles. I hope these oatmeals sell well, because I want to see General Mills try Cookie Crisp Oatmeal and Reese’s Puffs Oatmeal next.

What hypothetical cereal–oatmeal combo would you love to munch the most?

Big thanks go to our friend Junk Food Dog for sending in this picture, which he took at Zehrs. 5 boxes for $10 is such a good deal that I can only assume he bought the whole display case of ’em. Who needs to pay rent when you can build a house out of sugary deliciousness?

If you’ve got a cereal or oatmeal photo of your own to share, pass it along on our submissions page, or just email us at cerealously.net@gmail.com. There’s a good chance your picture could be featured on the site.

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Specials. Tags: canada, general mills, lucky charms, oatmeal, spooned & spotted, toast crunch. 3 Comments

Dec. ’16

Spooned & Spotted: “It’s Finally December” Edition

For every buzz-worthy Christmas Crunch and Cinnamon Star Crunch, there are plenty of less-exciting, non-Crunch based limited edition products that make grocery shelves a little merrier from the rough period of November 1st to December 31st. So while the Cap’n and those cannibalistic stars will get plenty of time in the breakfast spotlight, I want to give a shoutout to two of the little guys.

Or in the case of Rice Krispies with Holiday Colors, three of the little guys. Snap, Crackle, and Pop’s annual offering of red and green-speckled Rice Krispies is back again for 2016, returning silently to breakfast aisles in the night like a rice-stuffed Christmas present.

That’s what the song “Silent Night” is all about, right?

I “reviewed” (translation: “played with”) Holiday Rice Krispies last year, and I encourage you all to use this cereal to make your holiday season a little holiday-ier. You could make candy cane-shaped Rice Krispies Treats like the box recommends, or you could cover a snowball entirely in Rice Krispies and chuckle as innocent passerby unknowingly bite into an Ice Krispies Treat.

Quaker’s “Limited Edition” Maple Brown Sugar Oatmeal may seem like a cop-out, as it’s just their (arguably) most famous flavor repackaged with a charming living room Christmas tree scene. I mean, they could have at least tossed in some pine nuts, right?

But I’m going to stay positive and express my love for this holiday oatmeal. I couldn’t imagine a more cozy, warm scene than the one Quaker lovingly immortalized here in cardboard. And they picked the perfect, warmly cozy flavor to pair it with.

This Maple Brown Sugar Oatmeal is just ho-ho-wholesome, and I look forward to eating it from a novelty Rudolph mug while sprawled flat on my belly under my own tree. There’s a 100% chance I’ll be reading old Garfield comics while I do it, too.

If you’ve spotted any cool limited edition breakfast products, let us know! Click yourself right on over to our submissions page, or just email us at cerealously.net@gmail.com. There’s a good chance your picture could be featured on the site.

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Specials. Tags: holiday, kelloggs, oatmeal, quaker, rice krispies, spooned & spotted. Leave a comment

Nov. ’16

Review: Quaker “Bring Your Best Bowl” Oatmeal Finalists

Wait, does this mean my “PB&J Oatmeal” idea got rejected?

And my “Double Stuf Oreo Oatmeal” idea, too? Even my “Neapolitan Oatmeal,” “Thanksgiving Leftovers Oatmeal,” and intentionally redundant “Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pie Oatmeal” ideas? All thrown in the trash heap?

Okay fine, Quaker Oats guy, I’ll accept this criminal oversight, only because the flavor finalists in your user-submitted “Bring Your Best Bowl” contest sound pretty darn good. There were over 500,000 entries for the competition earlier this year, but only three tempting tastes remain: Vanilla Chai Oatmeal, Lemon Ricotta Pancake Oatmeal, and Apple Cheddar Rosemary Oatmeal.

To pick the winner, Quaker has slapped all three finalists into a single box. It’s up to us—the humble consumers—to try ’em and vote with our taste buds here: the winner will be “saved” on shelves. Since this is a game of oatmeal life or death, I figured I’d do my civic duty and eat three breakfasts in a day. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 6 rating, 7 rating, 8 rating, non cereal, oatmeal, quaker. 16 Comments

Oct. ’16

Review: Trader Joe’s Pecan Pumpkin Oatmeal

I’m 3 packets deep into my box of Trader Joe’s Pecan Pumpkin Oatmeal, yet I can’t stop thinking about Kraft Macaroni & Cheese.

Maybe I’m crazy, or maybe this is actually some grand, Illuminati-level conspiracy between Trader Joe and Cheesasaurus Rex, but every bite of TJ’s soft, sopping, and starchy Pecan Pumpkin Oatmeal tastes like mashed-up mac noodles bathed in an autumnal, earthy pumpkin sauce.

Yep, I’m definitely crazy. But before you lock me up in the nuthouse, my pinwheeling legs kicking and my oatmeal-specked mouth screaming “But it ain’t easy being cheesy! It ain’t, I tell you!” as the bars clang shut, let me rewind this whole pumpkin oatmeal snafu. Because despite my nutty introduction, there’s a lot to love about this nutty breakfast. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, non cereal, oatmeal, pecan, pumpkin, trader joe's. 1 Comment

Sep. ’16

Review: Quaker Banana Bonanza Oatmeal and Blueberry Bash Oatmeal

Quick: pretend you’re in 4th grade and it’s lunch time. You sit down at an uncomfortable wooden table, and tear open your hyper-crinkly brown bag while you wait for your friends to come back from the hot lunch line with their spicy chicken sandwiches and Bosco breadsticks.

You’re more than a little jealous of them, but you know Mom had to have packed you something good. So what’s the main course? Ham and cheese on rye? Leftover chow mein from China Kingdom down the road?

Both guesses are wrong. In an attempt to get you eating healthy, Mom packed Quaker’s newest instant oatmeal cup flavors: Banana Bonanza and Blueberry Bash.

But are these oatmeal cones worth trudging over to the school’s vintage, pizza sauce-stained microwave for? Or should you trade them like edible Pokémon cards and try to game Billy out of his Ziploc full of Oreos?

Those are the existential questions I hope to answer.

Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 6 rating, 7 rating, banana, blueberry, non cereal, oatmeal, quaker. Leave a comment