Tag Archives: non cereal

Review: Kroger Super Kaleidos (Fruity Cereal Cookies!)

New Kroger Super Kaleidos Fruity Cereal Cookies Review Packaging

You can’t convince me otherwise: Superman ice cream, like its namesake hero, is an anomalous alien life form that’s managed to assimilate into Midwestern American life. From taste to aesthetics, the stuff is just so weird, yet so good, and its flavor defies conventional description like any number of SCPs or extraterrestrial pocket dimensions.

Superman ice cream is a tantalizing tryst between ice cream flavors cherry, lemon, and blue moon—itself an oddity whose implacable taste has been described as everything from marshmallows and vanilla almonds to Lucky Charms and Froot Loops. Quintessentially a “Michigan thing” by origin, Superman ice cream’s popularity has spread across the midwest, including Cincinnati, OH: birthplace of Kroger grocery stores.

Of all the infinite flavor forms a store-brand Oreo could take, Superman ice cream has gotta be one of the most obscure—but even before tasting these, I’m so glad Kroger went there. And I’m also glad they went with a name as palatable as “Kaleidos,” rather than following the dark path of, *shudder*, “Creme Betweens.” Continue reading

News: Froot Loops Gummies

New Froot Loops Gummies

Move over, Venus de Milo, there’s a new disarmingly charming gummy in town.

These Froot Loops Gummies from the artisan gummy sculptors at Galerie Candy appeal directly to my pectin-pumping heart. I’ve always loved gummy candy, from gummy worms and blue sharks to Sour Patch Kids, Krabby Patties, and 3-ft gummy boa constrictors. Everything but Swedish Fish, which wow me about as much as those flimsy red fortune-telling fish. Plus why settle for Swedish Fish when you have sour octopi?

Speaking of sour, I hope these Froot Loops Gummies have at least a little bit of tang. Some preliminary tasters seem to suggest so:

 

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Regardless of their pucker power, Froot Loops Gummies are bound to be tasty if they’re accurate to their namesake. They’re coming out this Halloween season, but you can literally sign up for Froot Loops Gummies notifications through Galerie Candy if you’re truly loopy for these sweet, sweet chews and don’t want to wait a day too long. Through that link, you’ll also see this incredibly simple but no less convincing description for the Gummies:

These bags of Froot Loops Gummies come in two sizes and taste exactly like Froot Loops in gummy form. This new item is delicious and fun and we can’t wait for you to try!

Delicious and fun? Well, that’s all I needed to hear! Time to refresh my email for seven months straight.

 

News: Trix Fruit Snacks for Easter

New Trix Easter Fruit Snacks

Silly rabbit, Trix Fruit Snacks are for….you know what, never mind. In the spirit of spring, I’ll do the warm thing and let you have some. After all, at 28 pouches for $5.98, there are enough of these already-debuted-at-Walmart fruit snacks to go around.

Trix Fruit Snacks come in several different shapes and flavors: Rabbit heads, eggs, grapes, lemons, limes, and most conspicuously, strawberries—the one fruit in this pouch o’ plenty that’s never appeared in Trix cereal. Just Trix Yogurt.

Like the Trix Rabbit, I’m interested to get my weirdly articulate man–bunny hand–paws on these fruit snacks. It seems like a no-brainer/hare-brainer for there to be an Easter-themed Trix product, so hopefully these are more like the delightfully gummy Scooby-Doo Fruit Snacks and Kellogg’s Fruit Snacks of the world, and less like those waxy store-brand fruit snacks.

You know, the ones that nestle themselves into your molars like fillings and require pneumatic mining tools to dislodge.

News: Cereal-Flavored Carnation Breakfast Essentials

New Carnation Breakfast Essentials Cereal Flavors

To paraphrase Smash Mouth, “well, the year’s new cereals keep comin’, and they don’t stop comin’.” And with a flood that great, it’s no surprise we’re getting some more liquefied cereal delicacies to pair with, you know, the traditional solid kind.

In addition to Coffee Mate Cinnamon Toast Crunch creamer, Nestle is enlisting three more cereal cornerstoners to join their line of Carnation Breakfast Essentials nutritional drinks. That said, it’s honestly pretty baffling to see General Mills and Kellogg’s cereals joining forces here—I love you, Golden Grahams, but you’re hopelessly outnumbered if the Kellogg’s pair turns on you.

Yes, between Froot Loops, Golden Grahams, and Krave Carnation Breakfast Essentials, that’s some pretty impressive coverage of cereal’s three core flavor categories: fruity, honey, and chocolate. You know what? I bet these’ll all taste pretty swell, too. As your resident spindly cereal blogger, I don’t drink a lot of Carnation or other fortified beverages, but the ones I have strike a nice balance of taste and nutrition. Nothing too crazy—I bet these’ll just be like slightly thicker cereal milk. About two steps down in thickness from Kefir.

Let me know if you’ve tried any of these in the comments. I have a feeling I won’t review all of them, but I might give the Krave a try unless someone* recommends against it.

*Someone who isn’t genetically biased against Krave. Y’all know who you are.

News: Salted Caramel Pretzel Pop-Tarts

Kellogg's New Salted Caramel Pretzel Pop-Tarts Box

Salted Caramel Pretzel Pop-Tarts. Has a nice ring to it.

No, seriously: I think it’s Trochaic Tetrameter—assuming you pronounce it “car-mel,” which I realize is a reckless assumption.

Let’s make one thing clear: Pretzel Pop-Tarts are pretty darn good. Like Gone Nutty Pop-Tarts before them, they shake up the crust game instead of just the flavor. Both of the line’s debut flavors, Chocolate and Cinnamon Sugar, were sweet & salty & scrumptious, so I have little doubt that Salted Caramel Pretzel Pop-Tarts will be up to the same standards. These have already been spotted on Meijer’s site—thanks to Candy Hunting for the initial tip—so they’ll probably hit shelves within a month or two.

Now that Pretzel Pop-Tarts have crossed another reasonable, if not a little uncommon, pretzel flavor pairing off their pastry to-bake list, I wonder where they’ll go next. Here’s hoping we get Peanut Butter Pretzel Pop-Tarts before Whole-Grain Mustard.

News: Golden Grahams & Cinnamon Toast Crunch Protein Bars

General Mills New Golden Grahams Protein Bar

It seems 2021 will be the year of, in addition to many other things, buff cereal products. First Pebbles drops protein powder, now General Mills is getting into the protein bar game. What’s next, Kellogg’s Raisin Bran energy gel?

To be fair, General Mills’ Golden Grahams and Cinnamon Toast Crunch protein bars look pretty appetizing, and 20 grams of protein feels pretty standard for the likes of Power Bars or Quest Bars. I’m glad they committed to making a muscle-building munchie instead of a weird, sugary Clif Bar type of hybrid. They can save that idea for Lucky Charms.

You can already find the bars listed on General Mills’ Foodservice and Convenience website, so if you’re trying to track down these cereal protein bars, it seems like gas stations or school cafeterias would be your best bet. Whichever’s easiest.

What do you think? Cereal protein bars: yes or no? Personally, I’ll be defeating the Golden Graham bar’s purpose with a jar of marshmallow fluff.

Quick Review: Cinnamon Toast Crunch Soft Baked Bars

New Cinnamon Toast Crunch Soft Baked Bars Review Box

When it comes to Quick Reviews on this blog, I have a sordid history: 98% of the time that I title a post “Quick Review,” I end up removing the word “Quick” after effortlessly coasting past the 500-word mark. But this time, with Cinnamon Toast Crunch Soft Baked Bars, I’m committed to making this, perhaps, my shortest review ever. Why? Let me give you a few quick reasons: Continue reading

Review: Froot Loops Candy Canes

New Froot Loops Candy Canes Review

Does anyone actually love candy canes? I mean, don’t get me wrong, they’re irreplaceable symbols of the season, and they’re often tasty—especially the fruity ones. But is the humble candy cane anyone’s honest-to-goodness’-sake favorite wintertide treat? Growing up, I never sought candy canes out and really just got them from parades or school events. As a rough and tumble lad in East Michigan farm country, I was far too clumsy to keep said candy canes in my pocket without somehow shattering the brittle shepherd’s crooks into a million pieces. At that point, I’d rather have Pop Rocks.

Like I said, I prefer fruity to mint, so new Froot Loops Candy Canes start off on a more sympathetic foot compared to the cereal aisle’s first proper peppermint cereal. Both these candy canes and that new Elf on the Shelf cereal are hitting stores now. While I’ve yet to track down that wily sprite, I’m more than ready to see whether Toucan Sam’s sugared canes suck in the good or bad sense of the word. Continue reading