Tag Archives: non cereal

News: Root Beer and Orange Crush Pop-Tarts Coming Soon?

Forget frosted orange fudge: I’m ready for frosted Orange Crush!

(UPDATE: I reviewed both flavors: Frosted A&W Root Beer Pop-Tarts and Crush Orange Pop-Tarts!)

Snap! Crackle! Pop!

Nope, I’m not talking about the Rice Krispies mascots. I’m talking about actual soda pop-flavored Pop-Tarts based on popular carbonated drink varieties!

As part of a recent cost-cutting effort dubbed “Project K,” Kellogg’s CEO John Bryant teased root beer and Orange Crush and new pastry flavors. Project K will also lead to a further evolution of the Special K brand towards eating that is “wholesome,” instead of just lower calorie. Project K also sounds like the name of a low-budget alien invasion movie, but that’s beside the point.

In light of recent rumors about Orange Creampop Cap’n Crunch, this might just be a good year for orange-loving breakfast fans.

Let’s just hope these root beer and Orange Crush Pop-Tarts don’t fizzle, because if they succeed, then we’re all one step closer to the Mtn Dew & Doritos flavored Pop-Tarts that I know everyone has been asking for.

Info source: Crains Detroit

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Uncategorized. Tags: kelloggs, non cereal, pop-tarts. 15 Comments

Feb. ’16

Review: Kashi GoLean Honey Pecan Baklava Plant-Powered Bar

From cereal to oatmeal, muesli, cookies, fruit thingies, crackers, waffles, and even pizza, the products available from the grain-loving folks at Kashi are spread all over the map like grocery store Carmen Sandiegos.

So while Kashi’s cereal usually gets the most buzz, it’s worth sharing the attention with some of the brands more interesting options for morning sustenance. And speaking of buzz, this one’s got a lot of honey.

One of four “Plant-Powered Bars,” Honey Pecan Baklava joins the ranks of Dark Chocolate Cashew Chia, Salted Dark Chocolate & Nuts, and Peanut Hemp Crunch.

I like to imagine these four Plant Power Bars forming a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turles-esque team of vigilante crimefighters when the grocery store closes at night.

I won’t serve you a heaping bowlful of words here, either. I promise to keep this review conveniently snack-sized. It might be a stretch to even call this a “breakfast review,” but hey: they’re in the cereal aisle. And when’s the last time you saw the word “baklava” next to your Cap’n Crunch?

Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, cereal bars, kashi, non cereal. Leave a comment

Jan. ’16

Review: Kellogg’s Frosted Maple Bacon Pop-Tarts

You might be wondering why it has taken me so long to post a review of these new Maple Bacon Pop-Tarts. As someone who collects Pop-Tarts like they’re sugary pastry trading cards (picture me sliding a Frosted Strawberry into a Yu-Gi-Oh duel disk), I agree that I should have had this review up eons ago.

But I’ve been staring at this box of Pop-Tarts for a solid month now, because I just can’t decide whether I like them.

“Oh, these are terrible!” I’ll mumble to myself, as I slide another Tart in my mouth, chasing it with a glass of milk to form a flowing Maple Bacon Log Flume down through my esophagus.

To quote Kylo Ren: “I’m being torn apart!” I wonder if it was a Maple Bacon Pop-Tart that turned him to the Dark Side. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 5 rating, kelloggs, maple, non cereal, pop-tarts. 2 Comments

Jan. ’16

Review: Kashi Cacao Nib, Almond, & Coconut Overnight Muesli

My soft food diet is over, and while I’m already planning my “welcome back” house party—which will feature bowls of chips, volleyball-sized lumps of Laffy Taffy, and an edible piñata—I figured I’d have one last mushy hurrah by reviewing a cereal(ish) product quite unlike any I’ve tried before.

It’s one of three mueslis (I bet “Mueslis” will be one of the names given to an obscure background alien from Star War Episode VII) from Kashi that is designed to be filled with milk at night, refrigerated, and enjoyed the next morning.

I chose this flavor not just because “Cacao Nib” sounds like he could be the Ewok copilot of Mueslis in their Extended Universe novel, but because the other two flavors, Sunflower Pepita and Cherry Cinnamon & Cardamom gave me unpleasant mental images of eating fibrous stalks and spice cabinets.

Let’s have a “nib”ble, shall we?

Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 4 rating, kashi, muesli, non cereal. 3 Comments

Jan. ’16

Review: ThinkThin Honey Peanut Butter Oatmeal

Being on a soft food diet sucks.

But being a cereal review blogger on a soft food diet sucks harder than Starkiller Base on the energy of a sun.

While I was able to stockpile several cereal reviews before undergoing this wretched tooth surgery, at the moment my palate has been forced to gum down meal after meal of oatmeal. Don’t get me wrong, I love oatmeal, but after packet #6 it starts to feel like a beige, mushy nightmare.

However, I figured it was only fair to toss out a review of one of the oatmeal varieties I’ve tried for the first time. It’s ThinkThin Honey Peanut Butter Oatmeal. I don’t know how new it is, but I don’t actually care enough to wade through the silly string of Google searches necessary to find out.

I’d also like to add that one of my New Year’s Resolutions was to start writing some shorter reviews, so those that don’t want to wade through labyrinthian walls of parentheses and references to decades-old fruit snacks will still enjoy this site. My other New Year’s Resolution was to line up an entire package of Keebler E.L. Fudge Cookies and topple them like dominoes, but that’s beside the point.

On to the review! Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 9 rating, non cereal, oatmeal, peanut butter. 1 Comment

Dec. ’15

Review: Kellogg’s Frosted Chocolatey Caramel Pop-Tarts

Pop! Pop! Pop!

Can you hear it? No, it’s not the sound of tomorrow New Year’s Eve fireworks and party poppers. And no, it’s not your grumpy midwestern cousin who insists that it isn’t called “soda.”

It’s the sound of Kellogg’s wild and wonderful Pop-Tart-O-Matic, which has been eagerly popping out new flavors directly into our hungry mouths faster than we can say, “Wait, a serving size is one pastry?” Yesterday we covered the new-but-actually-secretly-from-the-late-’90s Frosted Watermelon Pop-Tarts, and today it’s time for a more straightforward flavor: Frosted Chocolatey Caramel.

Don’t worry, there won’t be any cross-contamination between the two: I made sure my toaster brushed his teeth first.

Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, kelloggs, non cereal, pop-tarts. 1 Comment

Dec. ’15

Review: Kellogg’s Frosted Watermelon Pop-Tarts

Christmas is less than a week behind us. Even though snow is still falling, tacky wreaths are still hanging, and leftover stuffing is still being refrigerated, Kellogg’s just released what might be their summeriest Pop-Tart yet (wait, “summeriest” is really a word? Saying it out loud makes me feel like a kindergartener who got vocabulary lessons from a slurring, drunken pirate).

They’re Frosted Watermelon Pop-Tarts, and even though this flavor existed way back in the ancient 1990s (doesn’t that picture look like something out of a bootleg Zoombinis game?), the nearly two decades between its appearances has nevertheless made this flavor pop up in the headlines of clickbait articles everywhere: “4 INSANE New Pop-Tart Flavors You’d be CLINICALLY INSANE to Try!”

But is it true? Will this flavor have me starring in One Chewed Over the Cuckoo’s Nest? Or will it be no zanier than Wild Grape Pop-Tarts? It’s time to stuff my toaster, stuff my face, and tell you all about this stuff. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 5 rating, kelloggs, non cereal, pop-tarts. 7 Comments

Dec. ’15

Review: Trader Joe’s Organic Triple Ginger Instant Oatmeal

Oh…oh dear. Am I ready for this?

I’m still trying to treat my tongue gingerly after the unexpected burn from the ginger land mines it had the misfortune to provoke while eating Trader Joe’s Cranberry Gingerbread Granola earlier this week. But now the mysterious, faceless Trader Joe is serving up a steamy bowl of oats that contains not just single ginger or double ginger, but triple ginger!

That’s like, “you must be over 18 in order to eat this” levels of ginger. (Side note: I wouldn’t recommend searching for “triple ginger” with Google SafeSearch off. Things will get steamy for a whole different reason).

Regardless, it’s time to expose my tongue to all 3 degrees of ginger, even if that means exposing it to 3rd degree burns, too.

Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, non cereal, oatmeal, trader joe's. 3 Comments