Tag Archives: non cereal

Spooned & Spotted: Kellogg’s Frosted A&W Root Beer Pop-Tarts

(UPDATE: Click this to read my review of Frosted A&W Root Beer Pop-Tarts!)

What’s more fun than a barrel of monkeys? A barrel of root beer, of course!

And what’s more fun than a barrel of root beer? Cramming it inside your morning toaster pastry!

Earlier this year we reported that Orange Crush and root beer flavored Pop-Tarts are on the way, and thanks to this picture sent in to us by reader and redditor /u/boyfoster, we know that those mythic sarsaparilla Tarts are not only real, but they’re A&W branded, too. Sorry, Mug and Barq’s fans: maybe you can convince the Pillsbury Doughboy to use those drinks in some Toaster Strudels.

According to boyfoster, who received and sampled these pastries from an in-store source, they taste good, but alas, they don’t fizzle. Oh well, I guess we’ll have to wait for Pop Rocks Pop-Tarts.

Oh, and one more juicy bit of news: according to boyfoster (whose word I now trust like scripture), there are also new Caramel Apple Pop-Tarts on the way that he was unable to photograph. Now that’s a flavor worth bobbing for!

Thanks again, boyfoster. To all readers who would like to see their picture or thoughts featured on a “Spooned & Spotted” post, head over to our submissions page, or just email us at cerealously.net@gmail.com.

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Specials. Tags: kelloggs, non cereal, pop-tarts, spooned & spotted. 4 Comments

Apr. ’16

Review: Kellogg’s Pop-Tarts Gone Nutty! Frosted PB&J Strawberry

I’m glad you’re here! Hurry: put on my latest invention, the NostalgiGoggles 3000. We’ve got an important journey to take—a journey to your elementary school cafeteria!

*cue Sci-Fi whooshing noises, rainbow-colored swirling portals, Cacodemons, and other time travel imagery that doesn’t go over so well in text*

Phew, we made it. It’s the year [INSERT YOUR 3RD GRADE YEAR HERE] and the lunch bell has just gone off. Geography pop quizzes can’t get our spirits down when we have processed snacks and juice boxes on the way!

Our best friends all get in the hot lunch line with their crumpled dollar bills and milk money. We’re a little jealous, because today is Bosco Breadstick Day, but we’re still happy as we plunk down at our faux-wood paneled table, because Mom’s cryptic smile this morning told us she was packing something good.

Spilling our brown paper bags onto the table (which still smells strongly of the Lunch Lady’s Clorox wipes) the sight of PB&J Pop-Tarts makes our mouth water.

Who needs ooey-gooey cheese sticks when you can have ooey-gooey, oh-so-nutty pastries? Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 9 rating, kelloggs, non cereal, pop-tarts. 7 Comments

Mar. ’16

Review: Honey Nut M&M’s (Flavor Vote)

I know: these M&M’s are not a cereal.

And despite all the bowlfuls of M&M’s Minis I’ve sucked down over the years, M&M’s never have been a cereal, either.

But before you report me to the cops for reviewing something on this blog wholly unrelated to breakfast, hear me out. When I say “Honey Nut,” what’s the first snack you think of?

If you said anything but “Honey Nut Cheerios,” maybe those cops should be on the lookout for a pair of pants on fire instead. Yeah, yeah, there are other acceptable answers, like Honey Nut Shredded Wheat and Honey Nut Chex, but my point still stands:

Breakfast cereal runs the Honey Nut game, so a new Honey Nut M&M’s flavor should be legally considered a cereal, just like how pizza can legally be considered a vegetable.

Whether you agree with me or not, I’m gonna review these bad boys. And whether your eyes are ready for it or not, I’m even gonna try them with milk.

Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, honey, non cereal. 8 Comments

Mar. ’16

Review: Kellogg’s Batman vs. Superman Rice Krispies Treats

Superman stands confidently, his hands on his hips and his feet floating some six inches off the ground. “I’m the Son of Krypton, the Man of Steel! I’m impervious to bullets and faster than a speeding one. You’re only a man. How can you ever hope to stop me?”

Batman’s eyes glow as he pulls a glimmering, foil-wrapped rectangle from his utility belt. “With Rice Krispies Treats.”

Superman scorches the Krispies into dust with a blink of his heat vision.

Batman looks defeated. “Damn, I packed that for my snack! You better not melt my Capri-Sun and Ziploc baggie of Oreos, too.”

It should come as a surprise to no one that instead of going out to watch the new Batman vs. Superman movie, I’m indoors writing terrible fan fiction about this box of BvS branded Rice Krispies Treats. Each treat comes adorably wrapped and ready for parents to pack for school lunches (uh, sorry about that one, Bruce Wayne). The Treats are adorned with rainbow “candy coated chocolate pieces,” but for Batman’s sake, we’d better hope the green pieces are made of Kryptonite.

Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 5 rating, cereal bar, kelloggs, non cereal, rice krispies. 1 Comment

Mar. ’16

Review: Trader Joe’s Cherry Pomegranate Organic Frosted Toaster Pastries

Well look at you, Trader Joe’s: always getting all prim and proper with your flavors and names for things.

Instead of “cheddar,” we get “Trader Joe’s Oakwood Cold Smoked English Cheddar Cheese.” Where others would buy “ravioli,” we buy “Trader Giotto’s Arugula & Parmigiano Reggiano Ravioli.” If Trader Joe’s sold omelettes, I swear they’d call them “Fabergé Joe’s Country Cock-tail Collages.”

In the midst of this naming madness, we get TJ’s take on Pop-Tarts: “Organic Frosted Toaster Pastries.” Not content with just naming them extravagantly, Trader Joe’s also likes to extravagantify (shut up, spellcheck) their flavors from time to time.

That’s why I’m sitting here munching a Cherry Pomegranate Frosted Toaster Pastry. Sure, Kellogg’s may be happy to go hog-wild with Maple Bacon, but I can’t imagine them touching pomegranates with a 10-foot spoon. This flavor isn’t particularly new, but since I was impressed by the last TJ’s pastry I tried, I figured it was worth highlighting another.

Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 7 rating, non cereal, pop-tarts, trader joe's. Leave a comment

Mar. ’16

Review: Kellogg’s Krave Brownie Treat Bar

I’ve said it before, but it’s worth saying again.

Krave is a divisive cereal. Most people either think it tastes like dog food, or they wolf it down like hungry canines at chow time.

Personally, I love the stuff…with milk. When munched straight out of the box, Krave is usually too bland and mealy for my tastes. But with the addition of milk, each piece becomes a soft, biscuity chocolate lava cake, oozing with fudgy goo.

That’s why I had doubts about trying this Krave cereal bar. Would I end up having to inject it with a syringe full of 2% to make it palatable?

But then I saw the word “brownie,” and my fears went away. The word “brownie” conjures up happy images of Grandma’s homemade dessert and cheerful Girl Scouts peddling delicious, definitely not homemade dessert cookies.

So I had to give it a try anyway. With a name like ~~Smucker’s~~ Brownie, it has to be good. Right? I’ll still make sure to have the nurses prepare a Nesquik IV drip, just in case. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Uncategorized. Tags: 6 rating, cereal bar, kelloggs, krave, non cereal. 1 Comment

Feb. ’16

Review: Kashi GoLean Dark Chocolate Cashew Chia Plant-Powered Bar

I find the concept of breakfast bars to be fascinating. All the magic of cereal distilled and molded like sugary Play-Doh into portable, rectangular chunks? They’re the next best thing to carrying around a heart-shaped locket with Toucan Sam’s face inside.

At the same time, I yearn for a simpler era of breakfast bars. I yearn for the days when our only option was bits of actual cereal haphazardly Elmer’s glued together by a sweet, gelatinous white goo that could somehow legally be called “milk.”

But now we live in an era of protein and quinoa and whatever the hell “activated almonds” are. So I’ll happily review one more Kashi Plant-Powered Bar, but I’ll do it with a nostalgic yearning for a simpler time—a time when I accepted a dare to eat just the milk layer of a cereal bar and spent the rest of the dazed afternoon unsure what century it was. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, cereal bars, kashi, non cereal. Leave a comment

Feb. ’16

Review: Kashi GoLean Peanut Hemp Crunch Plant-Powered Bar

Imagine this “Choose Your Own Adventure:”

Your eyes jolt open. You feel more rested than usual, and as you look at the clock and experience a mild heart attack, you realize why—you slept through your alarm!

After dancing your way through a frantic shower (no one’ll notice the shampoo still dripping from your ears, right?) and flailing into dress clothes, you’re about ready to leave before you conclude that if you don’t grab some breakfast, your growling stomach might roar you off the side of the road.

Bursting into your pantry, you have three choices:

A) A bowl of Raisin Bran with milk (eaten with one hand on the steering wheel)

B) A slab of bacon (cooked on a portable skillet plugged into your cigarette lighter)

C) A Kashi GoLean Peanut Hemp Crunch Plant-Powered Bar

If you chose A or B, prepare for a tragic “THE END” to your milk-soaked adventure. But if you chose C like me, turn to the next page and we’ll see if our breakfast choice was any more satisfying than a roadside bacon grease third degree burn. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 5 rating, cereal bar, gluten free, kashi, non cereal. 2 Comments