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News: Lucky Charms Marshmallow Clusters

 

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We’re saved!

Wait, on closer inspection: we’ve been duped! Bamboozled! Positively smeckledorfed!

Let me explain. This saga started in June of 2019, when Kellogg’s inexplicably and abominably reformulated Rice Krispies Treats Cereal, making it a shallow shell of what it was born to be. Gone are the sticky, marshmallowy toasted rice clusters, replaced with plain ol’ Frosted Krispies and a smattering of marbits. Embarrassing? Yes. But irredeemable? Also yes, but that’s been the case since they changed from the iconic teal box to a purple one.

For a moment, it seemed like the crisis has been averted by General Mills and Lucky Charms, because early, grainy box art of a Lucky Charms with Crispy Rice Clusters appeared. But just when we needed him most, Lucky and his Clusters vanished—and the concepted cereal was presumed extinct for two years.

Until, of course, the above box appeared on Meijer’s website. Perhaps GM just needed the extra two years to make this stuff great, right? After all, both Dunkin’ Caramel Macchiato and Honey Maid Cinnamon Graham Cereal had similar origin hiatuses, and they ended up tasting awesome. Well, now I’m not so sure.

You may notice that these Lucky Charms with Marshmallow Clusters are still a corn-based cereal, like just about every forsaken LC variant that isn’t the oat-laden original. Why it took General Mills two years to change their Rice Krispies Treat-alike into another, Monster Cereal-esque corny trick, I don’t know. I just know that, in these few months leading up to Lucky Charms with Marshmallow Clusters’ release, I will be treating it with apprehension.

I’ve just…been betrayed too many times before.

News: Lemon Creme Pie, Tropical Mango, Peach Cobbler, & Banana Creme Pie Pop-Tarts!

New Lemon Creme Pie, Tropical Mango, and Peach Cobbler Pop-Tarts

(Updated after the fact to include Banana Creme Pie)

You know what they say: good things come in threes. And pouches of two. Within boxes of eight.

No matter the quantity, this is some quality news for fans of fruity Pop-Tarts. I’ve discussed before how if you like Pop-Tarts, you’re probably in one of three camps: a Fruity Freak, a Chocoholic, or a Brown Sugar Cinnamon Purist. And for that first camp, this unexpected trio is sure to make you, well, a happy camper.

Between Lemon Creme Pie Pop-Tarts, Tropical Mango Pop-Tarts, and Peach Cobbler, only lemon and mango have appeared in Kellogg’s toaster pastried form before—in fact, Pink Lemonade Pop-Tarts are returning to shelves as we speak/drool, so I wonder what will be different about Lemon Creme Pie. Regardless, the stand-out flavor here is Peach Cobbler, marking a bold foray into the Pop-Tart world for everyone’s favorite butt-shaped fruit.

These flavors can already be found on grocer Meijer’s website, though it will likely be a few weeks before they start hitting shelves. Which of the three has got your mouth watering like a juiced melon?

New Banana Creme Pie Pop-Tarts Box

After I posted this, Kellogg’s also announced Banana Creme Pie Pop-Tarts, which will be store exclusives. No word on which store yet, but since these are 16-packs, it’s probably safe to assume Walmart.

News: Trix Treats Cereal Bars

New Trix Treats Cereal Bars Box

T-T-T-Trix-ity Treat ya’self, before you…uh….cheat ya’self, out of a sweet new cereal bar from General Mills!

Now, Trix cereal bars are far from new. They’ve existed in several different shapes and ill-advised artificiality-free forms. So what’s unique about this newest version? Well, nothing, really. We’ve seen General Mills use this same dinky lil granola bar structure to Treat-ify every cereal from Lucky Charms and Cinnamon Toast Crunch to Honey Nut Cheerios and Reese’s Puffs. They taste fine, and usually do a pleasant job translating their namesake cereals into a more portably snackable form.

They’re just too darn small! They may be fine come October for giving to Trix or Treaters, but at *just* 16 bars a box, I’ll be Hungry Hungry Hippo’ing these faster than you can say “wait, you’re already done? I didn’t even think of anything to say…”

Trix Cereal Bars are out in stores now.

News: Dulce de Leche Toast Crunch

New Dulce de Leche Toast Crunch Box

Happy National Cereal Day! What better way to celebrate than with news of a sticky-sweet new Toast Crunch variety to tempt our taste buds?

All hail Cereal Life for this news, for he has once again risked the wrath of General Mills to leak one of their upcoming releases like it’s blueprints to the Death Star. New Dulce de Leche Toast Crunch—though it’s still in early sales sample phases, with an indefinite release window—looks absolutely lovely. It will be only the second ever American dulce de leche cereal, after Dulce de Leche Cheerios, which came and went nearly a decade ago.

If you’re like me and don’t know exactly what dulce de leche is, it’s really quite simple—and quite similar to caramel. Whereas caramel is made by slowly cooking down sugar and water, dulce de leche is made by cooking down sugar and milk. Which basically means that dulce de leche is caramel optimized for cereal.  Dulce de Leche Toast Crunch is probably going to be amazing, and I hope more than anything it bodes well for the upcoming return of Peanut Butter Toast Crunch, my personal favorite of the TC family.

Again, happy National Cereal Day from Cerealously! I know I usually write something more substantial to celebrate, but with a lot going on in my life at the moment, I hope this good news is enough to whet your appetite.

News: Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes + Apple Jacks Mashups

New Kellogg's Frosted Flakes and Apple Jacks Mashups Cereal Box

Just look at this box art and tell me it doesn’t make you want a Kellogg’s All-Stars Battle Royale game. I’d totally main the Raisin Bran sun until they eventually have to nerf him for being celestially OP.

Dream brawlers aside, the second entry in Kellogg’s fighters pass of mashed-up cereals has been announced and it’s…a bit of a clunker. Frosted Flakes + Apple Jacks isn’t exactly an innovative evolution from Frosted Flakes + Froot Loops. My personal new cereal hopes are frequently dashed, but I didn’t think it that unrealistic to expect Kellogg’s to try two totally different mix-ins this time around.

Like Corn Pops + Honey Smacks, maybe. Or Krave + Cocoa Krispies. Anything but Frosted Flakes again, since it adds very little to a two-cereal fusion. It basically just “Yes, and”s the other one’s sweetness, and that’s what I expect from Frosted Flakes + Apple Jacks. It’s not often that I’m outright dismissive of a cereal from the get-go, but since this Mashup is about as predictable as a new cereal can be, Frosted Flakes + Apple Jacks is going to have to twist fate and unlock some arcane flavor magic to impress me.

If you need any more reasons to temper your appetite, here’re two: Shaq’s Frosted Flakes with Crispy Cinnamon Basketballs are already the exact same thing, with the added bonus of getting to say the phrase “Crispy Cinnamon Basketballs.” Not to mention how Cinnamon Frosted Flakes exist, yet neither this Mashup nor Shaq’s cereal makes use of them. Since Cinnamon Frosted Flakes and Apple Jacks have very different cinnamon interpretations, that could’ve actually been fun!

Oh well. By the way, if you want to play an actual cereal fighting game, Cereal Killaz is a cool indie project to consider helping fund!

When it comes out, I’m totally gonna pick Sonnie 2 Shanks and 1v1 a Kellogg’s marketing exec. Winner picks the next Mashup!

 

 

News: Little Debbie Cosmic Brownies Cereal

New Cosmic Brownies Cereal

I knew it.

Well, it wasn’t very hard to know, but I still called Kellogg’s bluff.

See, when news first leaked (like a microwaved Honey Bun) that Kellogg’s and Little Debbie were teaming up to release Oatmeal Creme Pies Cereal, a rumored Cosmic Brownie companion was right there from the start.

This is the video that kicked everything off. Cosmic Brownies Cereal didn’t have box art at the time, so it was easier to overlook, but excitement over the fudgy, rainbow-sprinkled treat’s breakfast adaptation quickly dissolved when Kellogg’s formally announced OCP Cereal and OCP Cereal alone. I even pressed a PR contact about it, only to be told CBC “is not launching at this time.”

So hindsight is 20/20. Reading that, at the time, made me think the idea could’ve gotten axed. But reading it now, it’s so clear this was just PR speak for “we can’t talk about it, but if you read between the lines, yeah it’s coming.”

And let’s thank our lucky supernovas that Cosmic Brownies Cereal is real. Or, well, maybe we shouldn’t judge too soon, because, yes, the box is gorgeous and the rainbow-sprinkled brownie puffs look cute enough to eat at the same suprahuman rate I’d inhale a real Cosmic Brownie—but since the sprinkles likely won’t add much flavor, and the puffs sure don’t look filled Krave style, Cosmic Brownies Cereal will only be as strong as its most cocoa-powdered corn cuboid.

On one hand, General Mills’ similar Cocoa Puffs Brownie Crunch tasted identical to its spherical sibling, and as a result was kind of disappointing. At the same time, these brownie bites could be closer to the pillowy delights in Smorz Cereal. That would be wonderful!

But this is all speculation, and if I’ve learned one thing as a cereal blogger, it’s that we should expect the big corporations behind a cereal like this to cheap out on ingredient quality, like they so often do. That way, we’re either pleasantly surprised, or right.

Cosmic Brownies Cereal will hit stores this May.

News: Pebbles Cake Mix, Pebbles Crisps, & Chocolate Honeycomb

Duncan Hines Fruity Pebbles Cake Kit

It’s simple geology: you make Pebbles rain, I’m going to call it a rockslide.

Seriously, the deluge of new products Post is releasing to commemorate Pebbles’ 50th anniversary this year is nothing short of meteoric. Coffee creamer. Candy bars. Bunnies. Even a Birthday Cake Pebbles variety, which is a perfect segue into the Flintstone-fronted cereal’s latest announcement.

Despite its EPIC branding, this cake mix seems far simpler in execution. It’s actually just confetti cake mix with frosting and some Fruity Pebbles cereal to adorn your creation. Since I have a personal vendetta against confetti cakes, I can’t say I’m all that excited for this one, but if you need a quick and tasty way to bring color to your next birthday party, why not celebrate with Pebbles? Continue reading

Spooned & Spotted: Waffle Crisp Returns to the U.S.

Jeez, what a drama queen.

…is what I said to myself upon hearing the news that Waffle Crisp, discontinued in 2018, was returning to American shelves. Less than a week ago, I penned an overdramatic elegy for Waffle Crisp, believing I may have just taste tested one of the last produced boxes of the stuff in Mexico—where it seemingly never really got discontinued in the first place.

Honestly, it was a cathartic exercise of closure, and Post had to go ruin the moment’s beauty by pulling a deus ex machina, bagging up a bunch of Waffle Crisp, and shipping it out. I’m kidding, of course: I’m genuinely very excited that Waffle Crisp will have wide availability again. These bags have already been spotted at Walmart, and you can check their site for availability near you.

However, I will warn you that this newly returned Waffle Crisp appears to be the same as the Mexican edition—in fact, those didn’t even have Spanish boxes. Just stickers over the English text. What that means is, it’s probably gonna taste a bit different from what you remember. In my experience, this strain of Waffle Crisp emphasizes the buttery and toasted elements of a waffle more so than the maple bits. This is still good, mind you, but if your nostalgia trip feels a little off, that’s probably why.

My thanks to Cereal Life and Michael for the photographic evidence.