Tag Archives: news

News: 2022 Froot Loops

You’re on thin ice, Toucan Sam: thin ice!

Like I mentioned in yesterday’s 2021 “Best Of” countdown, the Kellogg’s Strike may be over, but I’m still hesitant to support and outright endorse new Kellogg’s releases. While we wait to see how Kellogg’s corporate rhetoric and worker treatment evolves over the coming months, I’ll still share news of upcoming Kellogg’s releases on this site—but I’ll be including caveat reminders that a) it took Kellogg’s three whole months and endless bad PR just to make small concessions to the people who make their cereal, b) there are always satisfying alternatives and taste-alikes for these new Kellogg’s releases for those who would rather spend their money elsewhere, and c) a number of people noted dangerous finds in their Kellogg’s purchases while the company was using less-experienced scab labor to replace striking workers, and given lengthy production timelines, it’s unclear when cereal made by the reinstated striking workers will reach shelves.

That said, two new Froot Loops varieties are coming soon from the Battle Creek cereal behemoth. The first is the above Froot Loops Sweethearts, which is basically the exact same Froot Loops you already know, just resculpted into heart shapes and with a laughably ironic “Spread Love Edition” label. This is also the first new limited edition Froot Loops variety to feature the recently redesigned Toucan Sam—who looks….okay, I guess? Personally, I wish they would’ve stuck with the bolder, Adventure Time style Sam who was scrapped after a poor public response.

The other new Froot Loops variety is still a bit more esoteric at this time. It’s called Froot Loops Color Mix-Ups, and reader Laura sent me this pixelated evidence of it from an Acme grocery digital coupon. It’s unclear whether these Mix-Ups will taste any different from normal Froot Loops, but they appear to feature kaleidoscopically multicored Loops instead of the single-hued classic Loops.

Also worth noting is that, as the digital coupon applies to a number of other new Kellogg’s products, there’s a “Mixx Jumbo Snax” listed as well, albeit without any image. Could this be a jumbo-sized remake of 1990’s cryptozoological classic Big Mixx? Probably not, but a Loch Ness-loving boy can dream, can’t he?

Anyway, if you find a better image of Froot Loops Color Mix-Ups, please let me know!

Posted by dan g.. Categories: News. Tags: froot loops, kellogg's, news. 3 Comments

Nov. ’21

News: A Pantry’s Worth of New General Mills Cereals

Y’know, they say imitation is the sublimest form of flattery.

Yes, General Mills unleashed a mouthwatering downpour of new cereal news this week, and the twinkling, golden, Luciferianly tempting lightbringer leading the firestorm is CinnaGraham Toast Crunch: a game-changing union of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Golden Grahams that pairs the former’s sweet cinnamon sugar swirls with the latter’s hearty honey base grain.

To be honest, I’d’ve preferred if GM made this a variant of Golden Grahams instead of a Toast Crunch. I totally understand how CTC has more cult appeal, but poor Golden Grahams never gets limited edition variants, whereas there are enough members of the Toast Crunch family to start a mafia, inspire an Ancestry.com commercial, and clean out an Olive Garden. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: News. Tags: cheerios, general mills, news, reese's puffs, toast crunch. Leave a comment

Nov. ’21

News (UK): Cereal Killer Treat Cereals

Oh boy am I glad this is just a blog, and I don’t have to say the names of any of these cereals out loud.

Wait a minute, I have a podcast. A family friendly podcast.

Aw, [dolphin noises].

Anyway, it seems like I’ve been sleeping on the Cereal Killer Cafe for a long time—not surprising, considering how they’re like, 5 timezones ahead of me. But I also knew them as the Brits with the most famous cereal cafe of all time. Cereal cafes aren’t all that rare in America, but since you can just buy all the same cereals at your local grocery store, the concept is much more of a novelty overseas, where American cereals are comparatively exotic and exuberantly sweet. Add in Cereal Killer Cafe’s immersive branding, and you had a hit on your spoon-gripping hands. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: News. Tags: international, news. 1 Comment

Nov. ’21

The Empty Bowl Episode Sixty + Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch Mini Treats

Happy Ho-Ho-Hovember! Not to be confused with Yo-Ho-Hovember (only celebrated in international waters), H-H-H-vember is my go-to name for the late-autumn parts of November that are cannibalized by the coming Christmas season (i.e., every day in November except for like, three).

I highly recommend you celebrate with either a) strict defiance and rigid adherence to Thanksgiving tradition with a “come and take ’em” on your mashed potatoes, b) the kind of dastardly combination of Thanksgiving and Christmas festivities that results in cranberry sauce leaking out of a stocking, or c) a new episode of The Empty Bowl, a meditative cereal podcast from myself and Justin McElroy.

I won’t lie: I do a very bad job about remembering to tell y’all when we have a new episode. In fact, it’s been an embarrassing 5 months since I’ve done so. But nevertheless, Episode Sixty is a darn good one, even if it gets a bit off topic into the rich realms of s’mores and doughnuts…and shoddy Halloween costumes.

We also discuss these new Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch Mini Treats, which thankfully aren’t exclusive to the Sam’s Club 53-count box after all—and instead can also be found in this 35-pack at Walmart stores, even though that’s still enough sweet little rectangular prisms to leave Santa too stuffed to slide out of your house the way he came in. Forgive him for tucking and rolling out the living room window…and taking the head clean off your front yard reindeer sculpture.

Anyway, if you want to hear all the Empty Bowl episodes I forgot to tell you about, you can find them at our Anchor hub. You can also follow along on Twitter, or send in a listener question. We can’t discuss or respond to every email, but each one is like a Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch Mini Treat injected directly into our veins.

Posted by dan g.. Categories: News. Tags: empty bowl, holiday, news, toast crunch. Leave a comment

Oct. ’21

News: Swiss Miss Cocoa Puffs

Bullying works!

See, when Hot Cocoa Cocoa Puffs debuted way back in 2017, I made fun of the name for being redundant and clumsy to say. Now, the concept of wintery marshmallow’d Cocoa Puffs is back from its four-year embarrassment-induced hibernation, and with a less tongue-twisting name. Sure, “Hot Cocoa” is still the flavor descriptor—despite no one in their right mind actually eating hot Cocoa Puffs—but “Swiss Miss Cocoa Puffs” sounds a lot neater.

Sadly, the cereal itself will probably be more tongue-tiring than tempting. Looking back at my Hot Cocoa Cocoa Puffs review, it’s clear I need to get at least halfway through a box before giving it a full review, for while the charm of marbits and cocoa-powdered puffs was cozy at first, I remember getting really bored of the cereal’s one-note adequacy long before I finished it. Cocoa Puffs as a corn-based cereal has simply lost its luster in the face of other, better-base-grained chocolate cereals, plus the marbits are boring and Cocoa Puffs’ recent reformulation has left me distrustful of Sonny the Cuckoo and his bowl-gripping feathers…

…even if I happen to love his sweater, which makes the bird look like a Fat Albert side character.

Swiss Miss Cocoa Puffs have already been spotted at Sam’s Club.

Posted by dan g.. Categories: News. Tags: cocoa puffs, general mills, holiday, news. 1 Comment

Oct. ’21

News: Coffee Mate Golden Grahams Creamer

January 2022 is gonna be BIG…

…for fans of viscous cereal fluids.

Yes, Coffee Mate, the folks who already brought us Cinnamon Toast Crunch Coffee Creamer, are double dipping into the great big bowl of cereal inspiration for this shining supernova of liquid sweetener known as Golden Grahams Coffee Creamer.

It’s no secret that I’m a Golden Grahams fan—honestly, we need a term for that. Golden Grahamaniacs? In fact, I’m a big fan of all things graham’d, be they crackered or Teddy’d. I even find it quite silly that graham crackers were invented to curb prurient urges, because nothing gets me going like a coffee-dunked sheet of twinkling Honey-Maid goodness.

And now, with this GG (fitting acronym) Coffee Creamer, I can dunk my graham crackers in graham cracker flavored coffee creamer that I’ve poured in my coffee….which I’ve then poured into a bowl of actual Golden Grahams. I expect a Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure villain-tier ability to see through time to develop shortly after. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: News. Tags: coffee, general mills, golden grahams, news, non cereal. Leave a comment

Oct. ’21

News: Frosted Maple Eggo Pop-Tarts

Well if it isn’t the no-brainer patrol, here with a new Pop-Tart flavor that should’ve been made years ago.

I mean c’mon, maple is such a good flavor. It’s probably in my top 5, with the legendary likes of PB&J and gingerbread. But there have only been two maple-flavored Pop-Tarts, and both came with drawbacks. 2012’s Mapley Brown Sugar Oatmeal Delights Pop-Tarts were incredible, but they were only around for a very limited time and I only ended up trying them in a dusty, nearly expired form after unearthing them a year later at some catacomb of a grocery outlet. Meanwhile, Maple Bacon Pop-Tarts were about as appetizing as a pig’s belch.

Finally, though, we’re getting an allegedly permanent and straightforward maple toaster pastry with Eggo Frosted Maple Pop-Tarts, debuting this December. Granted, it would’ve been cool if they actually gave the Tarts little indented squares, but hey, if I want syrup pockets, I can always squelch some Mrs. Butterworth into my jorts.

All that said…

…while my bloggerly duties would feel unfulfilled if I didn’t report on news like this, it’s also my due journalistic diligence to remind you that 1400 Kellogg’s factory workers are on strike right now, fighting for healthcare, retirement benefits, vacation pay, and for their jobs not to be outsourced altogether! Hopefully they can reach an agreement before December, so we can all enjoy Eggo Pop-Tarts, but ultimately, the livelihoods of the people working hard to make our breakfasts are far more important than some sweet ‘n’ sticky toaster slab.

I encourage you to join me in standing with these brave Kellogg’s workers by avoiding Kellogg’s purchases until an agreement is met.

Posted by dan g.. Categories: News. Tags: news, pop-tarts. 1 Comment

Oct. ’21

News: Kellogg’s & Wendy’s FROSTY Cereal

Sorry Wendy’s, but this is neither penance nor atonement. Your sin is far too great to assuage with a sweet cereal.

I know I seem crass, but in my eyes (all full of glistening milky tears of spite), Wendy’s is at fault for popularizing the “kooky brand social media” trope that’s infected Twitter, Tumblr, and somehow my small intestine. Listen, it was funny the first umpteen times a big, million-follower account got snarky and all “sorry not sorry” for “throwing shade” at a competitor, but holy trash-talking guacamole, it’s gotta stop. I’m tired of brands pretending to be people.

I know nothing I say will stem the tide, though, so let me get to the point: Kellogg’s is teaming up with Wendy’s to drop the fast food chain’s first ever cereal, based on their iconic chocolate Frosty milkshake. According to Kellogg’s, “hitting shelves this December, the limited-edition cereal features chocolate-flavored marshmallow pieces that intermingle with crispy, cocoa-coated round cereal bites — each spoonful evokes the irresistible taste of a Wendy’s Frosty.”

Well, to me, each spoonful looks like it’ll evoke the tepid taste of an Elf on the Shelf Cereal (apologies, but I’m triggered by those molar-nesting capsule marbits). As with any new cereal, I’m willing to give it a chance to surprise me, but hey, either way, Wendy’s Frosty Cereal comes with a consolation prize: each cereal box includes a FREE small Frosty or Frosty-ccino with any Wendy’s app purchase.

Wait, I’m also still triggered by my childhood memory of throwing up a Wendy’s cheeseburger with a small Frosty I dunked my fries in.

Boy, I just can’t win today. Maybe I can assuage the pain by having @Wendys publicly dunk on me instead.

Posted by dan g.. Categories: News. Tags: chocolate, kellogg's, news. 3 Comments