Tag Archives: news

07

Mar. ’23

National Cereal Day News Round-Up

Happy National Cereal Day! Y’know, the day that always sneaks up on me because it falls on such an innocuous date that I end up scrambling to write something for it around 7 at night.

I wish I could celebrate this National Cereal Day with better news, but you’ve probably noticed Cerealously posts have been pretty few and far between lately. The reason why is a little hard to admit, but nevertheless I must be honest: keeping up with this blog just isn’t as fun as it used to be. Don’t get me wrong, I still love cereal, but as with anything you do again and again for a long time, after nearly 8 years of cranking out wordy reviews for every new cereal to hit shelves, it’s gotten a little tiring—and often feels more like an obligation than a relaxing hobby. Not to mention, changes in my personal and professional spheres, as well as new writing and creative projects, have taken up a lot of my free time and energy.

So, sorry to say, but probably don’t expect an uptick in posting frequency any time soon. For Cerealously’s first 7 years or so, I almost never took more than a couple days between posts, so I hope you can understand why I need a little break—until I can confidently say that cereal blogging is fun again, rather than because I feel I have to. I won’t call this a formal hiatus, since I’m sure I’ll pop in with a review or two now and again, but I nevertheless look forward to returning refreshed and hungry when the time is right. My deepest thanks to all of you, long-time readers and newcomers alike. If it weren’t for you all, I would’ve stopped years ago. Be sure to sign up for email updates through the site’s sidebar if you’d like to be immediately notified when I make my grand return.

Rest assured, though: I’ll still be doing The Empty Bowl and posting cereal news etc. on my Twitter. Again, it’s all about time, rather than a lack of subject matter passion, and recording a podcast or shooting off a tweet is way easier than a 700-word blog post.

That said, I’d feel bad leaving you on National Cereal Day with only a sad little “see ya later”—that’d be like getting broken up with on Valentine’s Day. So let’s round up a handful of exciting cereal-aisle developments from the past week or so, shall we? Continue reading →

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10

Dec. ’22

News: 3 New Special K Flavors, Coming this January

Special K Chocolate Almond

Wow, three whole Special K flavors? Hitting stores this January? What a tr—hey, you: wake up! I get it, new Special K news doesn’t exactly wow me, either, but that’s not excuse to fall asleep in the back of class. This will be on the test, you know.

And hey, new Special K cereals aren’t always (entirely) boring. I mean, c’mon, there was that okay chocolate-dipped one last year, the genuinely tasty blueberry lemon yogurt one five years ago, and the cinnamon apple one from…aw, geez. Seven years ago? Fine, I agree: three above average new cereals over the entire tenure of this blog isn’t exactly a storied legacy, but at least the first of this incoming Special K trifecta looks promising. High Protein Chocolate Almond sounds decadent, and since “high protein” usually correlates to “high calorie” in the breakfast aisle, we can at least trust this one to be sweet and filling enough to be worth the effort it takes to chew its densely grained nuttiness. Continue reading →

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01

Dec. ’22

News: Cap’n Crunch’s Birthday Crunch

New Cap'n Crunch Birthday Crunch

Dang, Cap’n: you look good for 60!

Wait, actually, this is probably the first time you’ve actually looked your age, like, ever. You’re telling me you were rocking that same ivory ‘stache from K–12? Must’ve made the chocolate milk cartons a nightmare.

Anyway, everyone’s favorite seafaring cereal mascot will soon be celebrating the 60th anniversary of the original Cap’n Crunch cereal’s 1963 debut with this colorful Birthday Crunch. And even though I infamously loathe birthday cake-flavored cereals, what with their historic lack of substantial taste and all, it’s hard to stay mad at ol’ H. M. Crunch when this box looks like a ’90s Taco Bell.

Since 60 years would suggest a 2023 debut, you won’t be able to find this Crunch on shelves just yet, but it’s already up on Walmart.com, so it’s only a matter of time before you can have the Cap’n’s cake and eat it, too.

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03

Nov. ’22

News: General Mills’ 2023 New Cereal Lineup

General Mills New 2023 Cereals

Ugh, every year they just keep moving it up, huh? I mean, the squirrel-munched remnants of Halloween are only just starting to mushify on our nation’s porches, yet their noble decomposition is already being overshadowed by all this jolly merriment. It’s really the ultimate disrespect to Thanksgiving, if you ask me, to see its stuffing of legends snubbed in favor of the feasting to come.

The break-feasting, that is.

Oh, sorry, did you think I was talking about the Christmas creep? Oh (ho ho), no: I’m referring to a different phenomenon I’m dubbing the Cereal…uh, squirm? See, January is the hottest month of the year for new cereal news, and usually the industry’s big-name breakfasters at least wait until late November to tease their New Year’s Resolution busters. But it seems General Mills just couldn’t wait to spill the beans, oats, and marbits, because their January lineup was announced just today. In fact, you might even be able to find them in the nebulously unnamed “select stores” this very month.

And folks, this munchable menagerie’s a good’n. Let’s take a look (long before we can take a bite). Continue reading →

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28

Jul. ’22

News: CinnaFuego Toast Crunch

New CinnaFuego Toast Crunch

“And Big Cereal wept, seeing as they had no more worlds to conquer…”

Well, they’ve finally done it: the big bad breakfast barons have made a spicy cereal. Of course, sweet is a well-covered cereal territory, while salty, sour, and umami have likewise been covered. So with the release of this flamin’ hot CinnaFuego Toast Crunch, I suppose the final frontier would be a bitter Black Licorice Cereal….but let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.

But I digress—and hesitantly digest. Releasing August 12th, CinnaFuego Toast Crunch will be exclusive to both Walmart.com and 5.9oz pouches. It’s basically the same Cinnadust-slathered squares you know and love to inhale, but with the addition of an intimidatingly nebulous “spicy pepper” ingredient.

I look forward to doing a live taste-test on a Hot Ones edition of The Empty Bowl….

 

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21

Jul. ’22

News: Another Cereal News Round-Up!

New Nutty Buddy Cereal

Just as the world keeps spinning, the new cereal world keeps on spooning—whether or not I’m able to keep up with it! Here’s a quick look at the big headlines that’ve cropped up (get it, because…grains?) these past couple weeks.

First up we have the obvious headliner above. For awhile, I’ve wondered whether Little Debbie and Kellogg’s would expand their line of snack cake-inspired cereals that started with Oatmeal Creme Pies Cereal and Cosmic Brownies Cereal—and if so, which of Deb’s iconic processed goodies would get the spotlight next.

Now, thanks to @steelbookobsessed on Instagram, we have the likely answer. While it’s still in the unconfirmed sampling phase, Nutty Buddy Cereal seems like a smart choice, and hopefully one that will evolve the shallow cocoa powdery taste of the Cosmic Brownies Cereal. Yes, CBC was pretty mediocre and sparsely flavored, while OCP was an agreeable, heavily powdered cinna–molasses affair, so there’s no telling where Nutty Buddy may land on that continuum.

One thing’s for sure, though: the pieces look like (fittingly dairy-ready) Milk Bones. Continue reading →

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13

Jul. ’22

News: Frute Brute’s 2022 Return

Frute Brute 2022

Are you hungry like the wolf yet?

No? Well you’d better start huffing, puffing, and ruining some porcine architecture, because by the time this Halloween rolls around, our dearly departed Monster Cereal Frute Brute will be back on shelves with a cherry-flavored vengeance. Not counting his half-hearted marbit cameo in last year’s Monster Mash Cereal, it’s been almost 10 years since we last saw this ’70s cereal icon get his own spotlight spooky-time cereal.

And I’m so excited, I don’t even care that the cereal will still be corn-based, and that Brute’s only been reanimated as part of a Monsters x KAWS promo contest. KAWS is an artist and designer known for parodying pop culture icons and putting Xs over their eyes. He’s already gotten his own Reese’s Puffs box, so this General Mills collab isn’t a total surprise. The full nature of the Monsters promo isn’t clear yet, either, except that you’ll be able to enter to win a KAWS prize on the (not yet live) site kawsmonsters.com.

The other thing that’s abundantly (and abominably) clear is that Fruity Yummy Mummy, Frute Brute’s ’80s Monster Cereal counterpart, is no where to be found in this KAWS campaign. As someone who prefers both Yummy Mummy’s design and orange flavor to Frute Brute’s (it’s too similar to Franken Berry), I’m disappointed, but hey: I’ll take the fan service I can get in this lifetime. Maybe next year, Mummy.

The above Monster Cereal variety 4-pack should be hitting Sam’s Club stores any day now, while individual boxes at major retailers will soon follow as summer wanes. Let’s just hope hypebeast scalpers don’t poach our big bad wolf entirely off shelves before the rest of us can grab a box.

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04

Jul. ’22

News: Apple Jacks Nickelodeon Green Slime Cereal

New Nickelodeon Green Slime Apple Jacks Cereal

What could be more patriotic than saluting a bowl of emerald ooze? Grilling a T(urquoise)-bone steak with seafoaming juices? Squelching the last chartreuse dregs of Shrek-edition Heinz EZ Squirt on a peridot dog? However you celebrate, I hope your Independence Day doesn’t end without a heartily viscous display of slime, sludge, or otherwise slurry.

Sorry if all my imagery is making you green around the gills: I’m simply so excited that Kellogg’s and Nickelodeon are teaming up for a green slime edition of Apple Jacks. Bafflingly, this isn’t even the first Nickelodeon Slime Cereal to ever exist. General Mills did one too back in the early 2000s—back when Nickelodeon’s cultural impact was far more pervasive, and the threat of getting serendipitously slimed whilst going about one’s daily business was a serious one indeed.

Aside from the obvious benefit of turning your milk green, these upcoming Apple Jacks also come in a bold “Green Apple Flavor.” This may sound strange, since it’s already called Apple Jacks, but for many years Apple Jacks didn’t even contain apple ingredients and was merely a cinnamon cereal. Recent reformulations have amended this, but I think most can admit that when eating AJ, it’s usually cinnamon that leads the palate-pleasing charge. So I’m excited to taste what an ardently sour apple’d edition of Apple Jacks like this Nickelodeon Slime one will taste like.

If there’s any good left in this world, I will be left both puckered and giddily repulsed by the slimy, limey (at least in color) spectacle before me.

 

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