As I get older, I keep up with Disney news less and less: I’ve always preferred Chuck E. Cheese to Mickey when it comes to anthropomorphized rodents, anyway. That’s why before this review, I still had no idea what the upcoming Moana is going to be about. But thanks to a close friend of mine named Wick E. Pedia, I know the film’s about a Polynesian warrior princess who embarks on a nautical journey with the demigod Maui—played by none other than Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.
Well, I guess that explains the boulder-sized, tattooed dude on the back of Kellogg’s new Moana Cereal box:
I know nothing about Disney’s upcoming Moana movie, but Kellogg’s latest cereal tie-in with the film still sends my imagination spinning.
What if Kellogg’s played off the movie’s island setting and made this cereal’s crunchy swirls coconut-flavored? What if the orange sun marshmallows taste like mangoes? And what if there’s a mail away offer on the back of the box that let’s you exchange 10 UPC labels + shipping and handling for your very own pet pig?
Deep down, I know none of this is true. Moana Cereal’s hypnotic snail shell pieces are probably just Kellogg’s Cinnabon pieces stripped of all cinnamon heat and dressed up with a sugary syrup glaze. The marshmallows are probably just, you know, marshmallow-flavored. And the real exchange rate of UPC labels to baby pigs is probably way more than 10:1.
I’ll at least give Kellogg’s props for marshmallow innovation here. Instead of including the same white orbs they’re famous for and repackaging them as “whirlpools and sugary seafoam,” there are lovingly crafted, dual color palm trees. I’m still not sure what the blue star marbits are supposed to represent, though.
Probably the 5-star reviews that every critic will give Moana.
This photo was found by yours truly, with help from tipster Gabe Fonseca, on Target’s website after seeing a photo of Europe’s Moana Cereal variant, which, of course, doesn’t have marshmallows. While it hasn’t been spotted in the wild yet, Target’s site says it’s in stock at my local store.
I’ll hop on my trusty travel pig and get back to you.
If you’d like to see your own picture or thoughts featured on Cerealously’s next “Spooned & Spotted” post, all you have to do is head over to our submissions page or email us at cerealously.net@gmail.com.
Confession time: I am an absolute cookie dough warrior.
I don’t even like baked chocolate chip cookies that much (oatmeal raisin has my heart), because I’d much rather eat an entire bowl of raw, doughy goodness than watch it all go to waste in an oven.
If I’m killed by salmonella some day, then you’ll know I died happy.
That’s why it saddens me to see virtually zero chocolate chip cookie dough representation in the cereal aisle. Sure, we have Cookie Crisp, but until General Mills creates a “Dough Ball Crisp” spin-off flavor, I won’t be satisfied.
Thankfully, oatmeal has Doughboys like me covered. As part of MOM (aka Malt-O-Meal) Brands’ recent Dreamworks movie revitalization line, we have Cookie Dough-licious oatmeal. This Madagascar branded oatmeal is one of three Dreamworks flavors, alongside Shrek‘s Ogre Apple Cinnamon and How to Train Your Dragon‘s Dragonberry.
Shrek’s too big of a meme, Dragonberry doesn’t actually contain any dragonfruit, and Madagascar already impressed me with its s’mores cereal, so it was a no brainer that I should pick this oatmeal over the others.
Just keep staring. Just keep staring. Just keep staring.
…aaaand, I’m blind.
Photos don’t do it justice, but this box of Finding Dory cereal is bright. I think the shiny holographic box design could even bring down planes if angled correctly in the sunlight.
Your move, TSA.
In fact, the distracting solar flare of this cereal box is the only reason I’m reviewing it at all; I was attracted to it in the grocery store like a moth to a flame. Or perhaps like a guppy to an angler fish. Or maybe even like a kid to one of those oil puddles that reflects neat rainbows.
I usually just sit back and make fun of generic oats and marshmallows movie tie-in cereals, but truth be told, I haven’t actually tried one in awhile. Maybe my laughter is unwarranted. Maybe there’s a tasty reason Kellogg’s has rehashed this formula time and time again.
So here’s your shot, Kellogg’s. Dazzle me with that Pixar magic. Continue reading →
Need a superhero who can save you from afternoon boredom?
Well fear no more, concerned citizen, because Captain Cereal Time (secret identity: Gabe Fonseca) has released two new videos in his YouTube series that we’d like to share with you.
Though most of you are probably already aware, in the Cereal Time series, Gabe drops fun, historical, and nostalgic knowledge bombs about different cereals each week.
The above video features Gabe’s take on General Mills’ buzz-worthy new Batman vs. Superman Cereals. (Gee, I wonder where he managed to find the boxes? 😉)
And while Gabe’s opinion on who won this “cereal clash of the titans” differs from mine, I can still respect it. Because, let’s be honest here, both of these superhero cereals are tasty enough to have blockbuster movies made about them.
They could even bring back George Clooney. After all, he already knows a thing or two about playing a cardboard, lifeless Batman. Continue reading →
Confession: I haven’t been watching all the Marvel movies that have been released over the past 5 years or so. In my defense, new superhero films seem to come out just as often as new cereals. So how can I be expected to keep up with both?
What this means is that I don’t have any cheeky, topical references to make about Kellogg’s new Captain America Civil War cereal. From what I can conclude based off the box art alone, the movie is about Captain America pissing off Iron Man by trapping him in a bad Instagram filter. In response, Iron Man decides to steal the left side of Captain America’s face.
You know what? I’d see that movie. It sounds like it would be…all right!
As for this cereal (which I spotted at Meijer), it looks like another cookie cutter oats and marshmallows snoozefest. I will give it a couple bonus points, though, because the pastel red and blue shield marshmallows remind me of Bomb Pops. Oh, if only this cereal were cherry, lime, and raspberry flavored.
But hey, from the looks of this cereal’s shelf neighbors, at least Captain America is strong enough to topple Darth Vader.
If you’d like to see your picture or thoughts featured on a “Spooned & Spotted” post, click yourself right on over to our submissions page, or just email us at cerealously.net@gmail.com.
Really? Another movie cereal with oat pieces and marshmallows? I understand the desire to stick to traditions, but c’mon, Kellogg’s, can’t you just…let it go?
I apologize if I’ve made that awful joke before, but to be honest, I’ve never seen Frozen, so any jokes I make about it will have to be based off of that single song I know from the movie. I guess when it comes to that particular joke, I just can’t let it go.
Someone please stop me.
And while many cereal aisle regulars know that Frozen cereal has been around for awhile, these new boxes are a little bit different. The original cereal only contained blue and white snowball marshmallows (which Kellogg’s later reused in Froot Loops with Winter Blast Marshmallows, because when it comes to that style of marshmallow, they just couldn’t…you know where I’m going with this).
But this new box (the two images above are from a single box with different images on each side) that I say at Kroger also features swirling blue and purple snowflake marshmallows!
I don’t know if cosmetically different marshmallows will be enough to breathe new life into this cereal line, which also uses the same shape for its oat pieces as Jif cereal (maybe there’s hope for a peanut butter and jelly and marshmallow fluff cereal?). But what I do know is that the addition of “new marshmallows” instantly makes me think of this classic Simpsons scene.
If you’d like to see your picture or thoughts featured on a “Spooned & Spotted” post, click yourself right on over to our submissions page, or just email us at cerealously.net@gmail.com.
You better check yourself before you…Shrek yourself!
And why is that? Because we would hate for you to miss the latest two entries in cereal maven Gabe Fonseca’s Cereal Time YouTube series. His videos have more layers of fun and nostalgia than an onion, a cake, and an ogre combined!
The first video we’d like to share details the rich and marshmallowy history of Shrek branded cereals. And while our days of seeing new movies featuring this ogre may be over, it’s fun to look back at just how many cereals he’s had his name attached to.
From the standard oats and marbits mix to a box of particularly green bootleg Froot Loops, Shrek has had some pretty appetizing cereals…which is surprising for a character who bathes in the swamp!
