Last episode on: “Cerealously’s Milk-Soaked Adventures in Breakfast World”
Dan was not thrilled with Mini-Wheats Cranberry Harvest Delights. When the Mini-Wheats attacked, Dan attempted to coax some sense of goodness out of the cough syrupy cranberry purée buried deep into each tumbleweed of a biscuit. But their mere kiss of yogurt flavor was not enough.
As a result, Dan was ready to kiss the Harvest Delights brand goodbye, until an impartial jury of Internet commenters convinced him to give the Blueberry Vanilla variety a try. Apprehensive, hungry, and—for some reason—a little sweaty, Dan conceded.
We now join our cereal hero (we only call him a hero because he likes hero sandwiches), already locked into a stare down with a box of Mini-Wheats Blueberry Vanilla Harvest Delights.
Something about unfrosted Mini-Wheats make me uncomfortable. It’s probably the thought of stuffing small hay bales down my throat that makes me irrationally itchy all over.
I mean, Mini-Wheats always resemble tiny bales of hay, but at least when they put on their sugary clown makeup I can ignore my silly phobia and blissfully suck strawberry powder from their faces.
Speaking of which, 5 minutes of frantic Google searching have revealed that, even though there are phobias for fear of the pope (papaphobia) and fear of getting peanut butter stuck to the roof of your mouth (arachibutyrophobia), there is no named phobia for “fear of eating hay bales.” Looks like the perfect time for “Danophobia” to become a thing.
But at least Kellogg’s new line of Mini-Wheats Harvest Delights have a lacy yogurt lingerie drizzle to cover their naked, grainy bodies. But will this compliment their fruity flavors well? I bought the Cranberry flavor (I couldn’t find the Blueberry Vanilla…yet) to find out. Continue reading →
(UPDATE: My review of Jif PB&J can be found here! My review of Smorz can be found here! I reviewed Apple Raspberry Almond Special K Nourish here! Cranberry Harvest Delights Mini-Wheats and the ToGo Mixes have been reviewed, too!)
If all goes well, once January 1st comes around, you won’t even be able to say “Happy New Year,” because your mouth will be happily stuffed with one of Kellogg’s amazing new cereal offerings.
So I guess it’ll sound more like “Hrrby voobreer!”
In a press release yesterday, Kellogg’s introduced a number of the 40+ new products they have planned for good old MMXVI. Among these is 16 new cereals. Take a deep breath, polish your bowl and spoon, and put on your cereal pants sweatpants, ’cause we’re about to talk about the best of ’em: Continue reading →
As we all wait for the Great Pumpkin (he’ll show, trust me!), let’s gather round, snuggle up with our our Linus blankets, and I’ll tell you all about one of the only cereal options available for pumpkin junkies: Kellogg’s Pumpkin Spice Frosted Mini-Wheats!
Kellogg’s introduced these hay bale-shaped love letters to autumn a few months ago, but now they’re finally reaching the shelves of mainstream grocery stores everywhere. If you stopped reading that sentence halfway through to pull on your socks and shout “Honey, start the car!” I fully understand. While you shop, I’ll sit here and entertain your cat, who is now reading the screen in your absence. Continue reading →
Pop quiz! Without reading ahead, where was this photo taken?
If you answered “a pumpkin patch,” “my dreams,” or “an idealistic utopia in which Halloween occurs 365 days a year,” you would, unfortunately, be incorrect.
Nope, reader Marc P. spotted these elusive Mini-Wheats Pumpkin at his local Wegmans store and, as any true cereal fan would, wanted to share it with the world. Thanks, Marc!
Personally, I’m equally as interested in whatever amazing Halloween confection the Pillsbury Doughboy is hawking. I want to buy it simply so I can coat random passerby in black and orange sprinkles like the world’s most annoying sandman.
Unfortunately, we here at Cerealously are still desperately searching for a box for ourselves. So Marc, if you’d like to pour a bowl and grab a Ouija board, perhaps our ethereal spirit could consume it in lieu of our corporeal bodies. Or maybe I’ve just been watching too many horror movies.
Kellogg’s has been promoting this cereal pretty heavily, so you may have already seen it carving up your Twitter timeline.
This post ended a little short, so how about we brighten your Friday with a classic Mini-Wheats commercial, from before the entire ethos of the cereal became “anthropomorphized squares help kids get to school on time.” This commercial makes one yearn for a simpler era, when the entire world had a VHS filter draped over it and people could drop When Harry Met Sally references with reckless abandon.
If you’d like to see your picture or thoughts featured on a “Spooned & Spotted” post, click yourself right on over to our submissions page, or just email us at cerealously.net@gmail.com.
Just in time for the exciting news about this autumn’s Pumpkin Spice Mini-Wheats, the latest installment in Gabe Fonseca’s wholesome and bowl-some Cereal Time series covers Frosted Mini-Wheats: everyone’s favorite sugary tumbleweeds (I mean that in the best way possible).
From their ginormous origins as mammoth wheat bricks, to their progressive shrinking into today’s bite-sized classics, all the way to the explosion of flavor options—including strawberry, blueberry, maple brown sugar, and the adorable Little Bites—these hearty squares have had quite the journey.
Not to mention they have the best mascot of all time. I would pay good money for a Mini-Wheat action figure (now with Kung-Fu fiber grip!).
As usual, be sure to check out Gabe on Twitter and watch all of his Cereal Time videos here. They’re just as addictive as a bowl of Frosted Mini-Wheats!
(Edit 9/30: My review of Special K Apple Cinnamon Crunch is live! Click here to read it! You can also read my review of Pumpkin Spice Frosted Mini-Wheats by clicking here!)
Even though our swimming pools are still uncovered and the smell of sunscreen still wafts delicately through the air, stores are rolling out the recognizable tastes of fall in every product imaginable (I expect even cat litter and shoe polish to be autumn-ified this year). And the two most popular flavors, pumpkin spice and apple cinnamon, could soon be in your cereal bowl, too. Continue reading →
