Wow. This is a groundbreaking cereal.

Why? Because with this, Lucky the Leprechaun has become the first Irelander in space. And, for some reason, he leaves his hat on while wearing a space helmet. C’mon General Mills, show us those luscious ginger locks!

These new Galactic Lucky Charms debut this month, alongside four other GM cereals already covered on this blog: Apple Cinnamon Chex, Ghostbusters Cereal, Almond Cheerios Oat Crunch, and, of course, Dulce de Leche Toast Crunch.

Galactic Lucky Charms are pretty straightforward: they don’t change the cult-classic Lucky Charms formula, instead just adding three in inter-(and entirely)-stellar marshmallows shaped like planets and a rocket ship. I think these marbits look great and very appetizing, as they remind me of the kind of impossibly immaculate model ideas they put on Play-Doh packaging. I also like the strange amorphous shadow lurking behind Lucky on the packaging, suggesting some sort of calamitous, Giygas-esque antagonist whom Lucky will soon slay with the reality-altering power contained within these three arcane marbits.

Well, hopefully, at least. Sorry, I get pretty headcanon-y when I’m hungry.

 

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We’re saved!

Wait, on closer inspection: we’ve been duped! Bamboozled! Positively smeckledorfed!

Let me explain. This saga started in June of 2019, when Kellogg’s inexplicably and abominably reformulated Rice Krispies Treats Cereal, making it a shallow shell of what it was born to be. Gone are the sticky, marshmallowy toasted rice clusters, replaced with plain ol’ Frosted Krispies and a smattering of marbits. Embarrassing? Yes. But irredeemable? Also yes, but that’s been the case since they changed from the iconic teal box to a purple one.

For a moment, it seemed like the crisis has been averted by General Mills and Lucky Charms, because early, grainy box art of a Lucky Charms with Crispy Rice Clusters appeared. But just when we needed him most, Lucky and his Clusters vanished—and the concepted cereal was presumed extinct for two years.

Until, of course, the above box appeared on Meijer’s website. Perhaps GM just needed the extra two years to make this stuff great, right? After all, both Dunkin’ Caramel Macchiato and Honey Maid Cinnamon Graham Cereal had similar origin hiatuses, and they ended up tasting awesome. Well, now I’m not so sure.

You may notice that these Lucky Charms with Marshmallow Clusters are still a corn-based cereal, like just about every forsaken LC variant that isn’t the oat-laden original. Why it took General Mills two years to change their Rice Krispies Treat-alike into another, Monster Cereal-esque corny trick, I don’t know. I just know that, in these few months leading up to Lucky Charms with Marshmallow Clusters’ release, I will be treating it with apprehension.

I’ve just…been betrayed too many times before.