Oh, thank goodness. There’s a new Life out—this current one’s been getting pretty stale. I think 2020 was its expiration date. I can only imagine that living a chocolate life is gonna be a heck of a lot sweeter than the plain one I have every day.
Wait, you mean Quaker’s new Chocolate Life Cereal doesn’t include a free immersive Matrix pill as the prize inside? I have to just eat the stuff and pretend I’ve been thrown down a perspective-shifting rabbit hole? Yeugh. This new cereal ride is quite the lemon already.
That said, Chocolate Life is, from the outset, more exciting than the long-running, Mikey-beloved cereal brand’s other latest spinoff varieties. Because unlike the light flavor-glosses found on Vanilla or Strawberry Life, Chocolate Life actually features visible cocoa-infusion at the base grain level.
But is it enough to overcome my disdain for Life as a road-rolled facsimile of Chex? Only time will tell—and not a lot of time, at that, before things get soggy. Continue reading