Tag Archives: lemon

Review: New Fruity Pop-Tarts (Peach Cobbler, Banana Creme Pie & Lemon Creme Pie!)

New Peach Cobbler, Banana Creme Pie, and Lemon Creme Pie Pop-Tart Boxes

Picture it: somewhere, just at the fringes of your imagination, in the middling space between reality and the dreamworld, lies a shimmering castle made from pastry crust. And it is in this prismatic palace—where the lucid may not set foot, lest they wish to be toasted into this kingdom’s very foundations—that a great and powerful sorcerer distills the divine will of some great cosmic breakfast entity into new Pop-Tart flavors.

I mean, sure, it sounds farfetched, but how else do you explain the sheer lunacy of all these new Pop-Tarts?

Pshh, like some buttoned-up bozos in a boardroom could dream up Banana Creme Pie Pop-Tarts. Don’t make me laugh. We all know the toaster pastries I’m about to try stem from just three of Frosted Lord Convectia’s many holy appendages.

Now, allow me to pay Him his due respects, by gorging myself on a bacchanal buffet of processed fruit rectangles. Continue reading

News: Pink Lemonade Pop-Tarts Return

New Lemon Groove Pink Lemonade Pop-Tarts Box

Pink lemonade is the oddest concept to me—you’re saying most of the stuff just adds red food coloring to normal lemonade? And that it’s mostly just homemade versions that actually add strawberry, because most commercial versions just call it, you know, Strawberry Lemonade? Talk about disappointing. The best thing pink lemonade ever got me was a Princess Peach tip card cut from the back of a Pink Lemonade Hi-C juice box. This one, to be specific:

Hi-C Peach Tip Card

And now Pink Lemonade Pop-Tarts are returning to reignite my pink lemonade delusions. Yes, Pink Lemonade Pop-Tarts first came out in 2016. And they were pretty good, albeit a little weird. A sour Pop-Tart is a bit unconventional—and it’s a concept that can be done extremely poorly—but PL Pop-Tarts strike a fun balance of puckering and sweetening.

So while I have mixed feelings about pink lemonade as a concept, I’ll be glad to see these on shelves again, even if I am a bit sad Kellogg’s pivoted away from the vibrant pink frosting in favor of the “Printed Fun” designs that have become more common lately. Not that these are bad, but sometimes they can be printed on the pastry cruddily, making the whole thing look like a discount brand paper towel.

Oh well: whatever it takes to bring a little summer warmth to my cold Midwest winter. You can check for Pink Lemonade Pop-Tart availability near you on Walmart.com.

Review: Special K Blueberry with Lemon Clusters Cereal

Kellogg's Special K Blueberry with Lemon Clusters Cereal Review Box

I will forever associate blueberry-lemon flavor combos with the word loaf.

Apparently it’s really common to stuff blueberries and lemon juice into moist bricks of pound cake so dense they could K.O. passing construction workers if not properly secured to the kitchen table. And even though Starbucks has apparently never sold blueberry-lemon loaf next to the register (I still remember seeing it: I blame a highly caffeinated Mandela Effect), fat slices of the stuff would look right at home next to the chain’s cavalcade of other pastries whose sophisticated pedestals and tiny signs tempt you to consume 80% of your daily recommended calories before 9am.

So when I heard that Special K Blueberry with Lemon Clusters was going to be the wholesome cereal line’s newest flavor, I happily ditched my macchiato mid-order and impulsively considered buying a bread maker. Tasting all the flavor of blueberry-lemon loaf without giving myself loaf-handles?

Consider it bun. Err, I mean done. Sorry: too many carbs on my mind. Continue reading

Review: Kellogg’s Limited Edition Frosted Pink Lemonade Pop-Tarts

pinklemonadepoptart1

I have seen into the future, fellow breakfast lovers. And let me tell you, the world of tomorrow is weird.

Get this: in 50 years, all solid foods will be liquids, and all liquid foods will be solids! At dinner, we’ll nibble on chewy orange juice frittata slices for an appetizer, enjoy the hearty and tender roast Coca-Cola main course, and treat ourselves to Grandma’s old fashioned skim milk pie for dessert. Oh, and we’ll wash it all down with glasses of the finest carbonated mutton.

When I asked the flavor wizards of the future how this revolution came about, their answer was unanimous: “It all started with Kellogg’s Frosted Pink Lemonade Pop-Tarts!”

That’s right: before me sits a classic beverage in toaster pastry form. Along with their soon-to-come A&W Root Beer and Orange Crush Pop-Tarts, Frosted Pink Lemonade is leading Kellogg’s “Summer of Synesthesia” series (my name, not theirs).

Let’s see if these pastries can make me feel the summer sun as I sit here drenched and cold from a leftover April shower that apparently doesn’t own a darn calendar.

Continue reading