When Dunkin’ Donuts announced their partnership with Pop-Tarts, I thought it was a no-brainer that we’d get a Jelly Doughnut Pop-Tart, complete with a fried, yeasty crust and a fruity or custardy filling. But alas, my hopes were squeezed cleanly out of me like a Boston Cream doughnut in an industrial vice grip: instead of any Inception-ed “baked good inside of a baked good” flavor, Kellogg’s and Dunkin’ Donuts gave us Chocolate Mocha Pop-Tarts and Vanilla Latte Pop-Tarts.
We were so close that I nearly leaned out an open window and crooned “we could’ve had it all!” in my best Adele voice.
But I won’t complain, because Chocolate Mocha and Vanilla Latte are pretty darn good consolation prizes. And since I already love Vanilla Latte Pop-Tarts enough to consider working them into my annual family Christmas card, Chocolate Mocha will surely make me forget about the world’s cruel lack of Cruller-flavored toaster pastries.
At least I hope so. I’ll keep my emergency Adele wig on standby, just in case. Continue reading →
Wait a minute, that’s not how that goes, does it? Well either way, this surprise sighting of a Keebler Cereal at a Marc’s grocery store in Ohio still has me going cuckoo with excitement like a varsity jacket-wearing cartoon bird.
Not much is known about the cereal yet. The box promises “Real Mini Chocolate Chip Cookies,” but packaging genuine, fully baked dough spheres made of butter, brown sugar, egg, and chocolate chip seems like a logistical nightmare. I’m not saying I don’t believe in Ernie and Co.’s elven magic, but it seems equally likely that the “Real” in “Real Mini Chocolate Chip Cookies” is just referring to how really really mini they are.
Plus there appear to be plain chocolate spheres alongside the cookie pieces. Are these meant to be brownies? Burnt cookies? Raw E.L. Fudge innards? Only Ernie and a lucky Ohioan breakfast fan know at the moment—the rest of us will have to nibble our Fudge Stripes in anticipation until Keebler Cereal’s full debut.
And speaking of Fudge Stripes, this isn’t Keebler’s first foray into the crunchy cookie game. Their aptly named Keebler Cookie Crunch combined the flavors of Fudge Stripes and Chips Deluxe into a single 2008 cereal. Perhaps this new cereal will take after Keebler’s new Cookie Dough Bites, and every piece will be—dare I say it—actually doughy.
Big thanks to Junk Banter for passing along this news and photo. I’m sure he and I will both be eating enough of this stuff to fill a Hollow Tree soon enough. If you’d like to share a fresh cereal scoop, click yourself right on over to our submissions page, or just email us at cerealously.net@gmail.com. There’s a good chance your picture could be featured on the site.
I firmly believe that everyone has a “spirit Pop-Tart.” A spirit Pop-Tart is the specific toaster pastry flavor that represents you on a personal, philosophical, and even spiritual level. A spirit Pop-Tart has bits of your personality baked into every crumb.
While I love assigning other people spirit Pop-Tarts—like I’m some wise breakfast oracle on a Greek mountaintop—I’ve always got mixed readings on what my spirit Tart is. I like to see myself as a Milk Chocolate Graham Pop-Tart, but others have named me a PB&J Pop-Tart, a Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Pop-Tart, or even a Limited Edition Ice Cream Shoppe Frosted Ice Creme Sandwich Pop-Tart.
I got tired and hungry just typing that last one.
But the second Kellogg’s announced its partnership with Dunkin’ Donuts—wherein the pair would craft not one, but two (the other’s Chocolate Mocha)new Pop-Tarts inspired by coffee beverages—my friends pointed at me with excitedly, confident that I am a Vanilla Latte Pop-Tart!
I don’t know why they say this, exactly: I like to think it’s because I’m sweet and trendy, but it’s probably because I’m always caffeinated and have a hairdo that looks like freshly frothed milk. Continue reading →
It’s been a relatively slow year for new holiday cereals, so I figured I’d celebrate the coziest time of year by revisiting one of my personal cozy cocoa classics. After all, it is the season for reconnecting with loved ones.
I’ve mentioned in my previous Krave reviews that the cereal is definitely divisive: most people either adore it (hi, I’m Dan: nice to meet you) or think it tastes like dog food pellets stuffed with expired chocolate pudding. But perhaps in this time of camaraderie and giving, we can give the Krave civil war a rest. Because I like to think that Double Chocolate is Krave’s most universally palatable flavor.
Why is that? Well I’m glad you asked. Pour yourself a glass of chocolate milk, chocolate eggnog, or questionably stale chocolate pudding and let me tell you. Continue reading →
For every buzz-worthy Christmas Crunch and Cinnamon Star Crunch, there are plenty of less-exciting, non-Crunch based limited edition products that make grocery shelves a little merrier from the rough period of November 1st to December 31st. So while the Cap’n and those cannibalistic stars will get plenty of time in the breakfast spotlight, I want to give a shoutout to two of the little guys.
Or in the case of Rice Krispies with Holiday Colors, three of the little guys. Snap, Crackle, and Pop’s annual offering of red and green-speckled Rice Krispies is back again for 2016, returning silently to breakfast aisles in the night like a rice-stuffed Christmas present.
That’s what the song “Silent Night” is all about, right?
I “reviewed” (translation: “played with”) Holiday Rice Krispies last year, and I encourage you all to use this cereal to make your holiday season a little holiday-ier. You could make candy cane-shaped Rice Krispies Treats like the box recommends, or you could cover a snowball entirely in Rice Krispies and chuckle as innocent passerby unknowingly bite into an Ice Krispies Treat.
Quaker’s “Limited Edition” Maple Brown Sugar Oatmeal may seem like a cop-out, as it’s just their (arguably) most famous flavor repackaged with a charming living room Christmas tree scene. I mean, they could have at least tossed in some pine nuts, right?
But I’m going to stay positive and express my love for this holiday oatmeal. I couldn’t imagine a more cozy, warm scene than the one Quaker lovingly immortalized here in cardboard. And they picked the perfect, warmly cozy flavor to pair it with.
This Maple Brown Sugar Oatmeal is just ho-ho-wholesome, and I look forward to eating it from a novelty Rudolph mug while sprawled flat on my belly under my own tree. There’s a 100% chance I’ll be reading old Garfield comics while I do it, too.
If you’ve spotted any cool limited edition breakfast products, let us know! Click yourself right on over to our submissions page, or just email us at cerealously.net@gmail.com. There’s a good chance your picture could be featured on the site.
The box says “Family Size,” Dan, I tell myself. That means you shouldn’t eat all the Cinnamon Frosted Flakes by yourself.
But wait! the darker side of me says. Olive Garden says “when you’re here, you’re family,” so as long as I eat this whole box in an Olive Garden parking lot, there won’t be a problem!
So that, officer, is why I’m squatting behind this pasta-filled dumpster with a bowl full of crunchy, auburn-colored flakes. Would you care for a spoonful? You can be my court-appointed family. Continue reading →
You didn’t think I’d end Thanksgiving week without reviewing something at least tangentially related to Turkey Day, did you?
It’s true: the connection between Grandma’s homemade, Thanksgiving dinner cranberry sauce and Kellogg’s Raisin Bran Granola with Cranberries and Almonds is loose at best, but play along with me here. At least this granola won’t jiggle uncomfortably or come with a side of equally uncomfortable dinner table politics.
I reviewed the honey version of Raisin Bran Granola earlier this year, and I’d like to say I intentionally saved the cranberry kind for this thematically appropriate review, but the truth is that the first variety wasn’t particularly exciting or memorable. It just tasted like hyper-toasted, nearly burnt oats. Let’s see if its fruitier cousin shares a passion for dark meat. Continue reading →
I know it’ll be hard to work a bowl of your favorite breakfast cereal into this day of turkey, green bean casserole, and yams glazed with some magic syrup your grandma must’ve bartered with Zeus to obtain, so I won’t blame you if you go breakfast-lite today.
But I’ll also give you six words: Cap’n Crunch in the mashed potatoes.
Regardless of how many Crunchberries find their way into today’s turducken, those of us gestating through day-long food comas can still celebrate cereal’s spirit by gobbling down the latest 5 episodes of cereal pilgrim Gabe Fonseca’s Cereal Time YouTube series. Every episode is a feast for the senses, as Gabe nostalgically waxes on the past and future of a different cereal each week.
I apologize for stuffing so many episode recaps into a single post, but hey—it is the season of stuffing.
