Is there anything more romantic than a bowlful of crunchy oat hearts?
Valentine’s Day is coming up, and I recommend that you treat your something special to a magical—and dare I say, hearty—breakfast of heart-shaped Disney Princess Cereal, heart-shaped pancakes, heart-shaped egg-in-the-basket, and a glass of orange juice with a surprise handful of Conversation Hearts at the bottom.
Okay, that last one might be a bad idea. Unless you want your significant other tearing your heart out, Kali Ma-style.
Sorry if that introduction to Kellogg’s newest marshmallowy movie cereal felt forced. It was either that or three terrible verses of “A Bowl New World.”Continue reading →
With my right hand raised, I, Dan G. of Cerealously, vow to complete this review of Kellogg’s new Despicable Me Cereal without voicing any of my personal opinions about Minions, the Minion phenomenon, or the fact that Minions somehow still overpopulate my Facebook feed with sassy memes in the year 2017.
There, now that the hard part’s over, I can evaluate this cereal objectively. At first glance—once you get past those moon-sized, staring eyes—Despicable Me Cereal appears to be the latest square-shaped, marshmallow-stuffed entry in Kellogg’s cinematic cereal franchise, an anthology that includes Finding Dory Cereal, Captain America Civil War Cereal, and several others with identical flavors but laughably different source materials.
But look, look closer with your special, telescopic Minion eyes, and you’ll see that Despicable Me Cereal is actually Brown Sugar Vanilla-flavored! I feel like we need to celebrate this trend-bucking mix-up of Kellogg’s repetitive movie cereal formula.
Anyone down for a Return of the Jedi-style party with Ewoks, bonfires, and the grinning blue ghosts of several force-sensitive mentors? Continue reading →
It’s National Peanut Butter Day (January 24th), and European cereal lovers are getting a delightful new salted nut butter cereal. Meanwhile, we here in the States are left to go nuts with salty envy.
What’s worse is that it’s a new Crunchy Nut cereal! Crunchy Nut Peanut Butter Clusters is the latest iteration of Kellogg’s peanut shard-speckled, honey-glazed breakfast brand. You know, the one that delighted Americans for decades—it was first known as “Honey & Nut Corn Flakes” in the ’80s—until its untimely demise discontinuation just a couple years ago.
Aside from Crunchy Nut and the nearly mythical Triple Snack, few cereals have contained real peanut hunks, so I look back on Crunchy Nut with the fond remembrance of a native New Yorker who watched a laundromat replace his favorite pizza parlor—the only pizza parlor that topped every slice with freshly diced peanuts.
Unlike their flaky predecessors, Crunchy Nut Peanut Butter Clusters are made of oats and wheat crisps, all gummed up together with real peanut butter to form chunky clusters. Our friend Amy at Amy Seeks New Treats, who generously supplied the above box photo, has a great review. Check it out for the less-salty take of someone who actually gets to try this magnificent-looking cereal.
No, I’m not crying, I’m just, *sniff* so happy for every cereal lover across the pond. I guess I’ll just spoon some Skippy into my Peanut Butter Crunch to try and fill the void.
Big thanks go to Amy for sharing her picture. According to Crunchy Nut, this cereal can be found at Tesco stores, and will be at Asda, Sainsbury’s, and Waitrose soon. But no matter what country you’re in, if you have a cool cereal scoop, we want to see it. Click yourself right on over to our submissions page, or just email us at cerealously.net@gmail.com. There’s a good chance your picture could be featured on the site.
Leave it to Raisin Bran Crunch to bring two of America’s most contentious summer pie flavors together.
Seriously: apple pie and strawberry pie’s rivalry is the warm weather equivalent of pumpkin vs. pecan, and I bet this bitter—yet so sweet—feud is the reason we don’t see apple and strawberry flavors mix very often. I don’t know what apple did to strawberry to evoke decades of estrangement, but I can only assume it involved a pie to the face. And maybe a few clowns.
But now, thanks to the unifying power of Raisin Bran’s radiant sun, we can finally experience apple and strawberry in tandem without having to sandwich together two slices of Grandma’s Independence Day desserts. Because while it may be delicious, that’s how you end up with a Fourth New Belt Notch of July. Continue reading →
I think I can imagine how the supervillainous plot to release Chocolate Sugar Cookie Pop-Tarts originated:
The Joker paces back-and-forth madly in the abandoned Pop-Tart factory he and Lex Luthor are using as a haphazard base of operations. With a cackle, he has a sudden idea.
“I’ve got it, Lex,” the Joker cries. “We’ll kidnap all the world’s Pop-Tarts and smush them together into otherwise nonsensical taste combinations! Just picture it: Watermelon S’Mores Pop-Tarts. Blueberry Root Beer Pop-Tarts. Cookies & Creme PB&J Pop-Tarts. We’ll flood the streets with a hasty pastry army, causing mass confusion and hysteria!”
“But why?” Lex replies.
The Joker chuckles maniacally: “Some men just want to watch the world yearn…for obscurely flavored, impulsively purchased breakfast treats!”
And thus, Chocolate Sugar Cookies Pop-Tarts were born. This flavor combo isn’t really that strange, but when’s the last time you had an actual chocolate sugar cookie? Maybe my cheeks are too stuffed with gingerbread men during December to notice, but compared to snickerdoodles or fruitcake, chocolate sugar cookies seem more like the shiny Pokémon of holiday dessert platters. Continue reading →
Confession time: when I was a kid, I loved the Keebler Elves.
Ernie. Ma Keebler. Buckets. Fast Eddie. Even that mischievous miscreant Elwood. I treated my E.L. Fudge cookies like edible action figures, using them to reenact the Hollow Tree’s treat assembly line and play games of “synchronized milk diving.” Later in my adolescence, the cookies even became diplomats in tense scenes of imagined inter-arboreal geopolitics.
Let’s just say I had more snacks than friends for a while there.
Since my history with Keebler is long and sentimental, it was a Coconut Dream come true to hear that Kellogg’s was releasing a new Keebler Cereal, even after 2008’s Keebler Cookie Crunch Cereal was discontinued. And I’m Double Stuffed with joy to see that we got the real, two-dimensional Ernie on the packaging, instead of the computer-inept, ironically meme-ing CGI Ernie from Twitter:
Can someone put me in the picture with the Pumpkin Spice Fudge Stripes? I haven't been to the Photo Shop. pic.twitter.com/3slP6LFKxo
With promises of real chocolate chip cookies inside, this cereal is singing my name like an Elf at work. I’m expecting big, doughy things from Keebler Cereal, but if all else fails, I’m sure I can still use the cookie pieces as projectiles for an E.L. Fudge-manned trebuchet. Let’s fire away! Continue reading →
Ever heard the phrase “like a kid in a candy store?” Well you should see a cereal and Pop-Tart blogger in Kellogg’s headquarters.
Earlier this month, I was generously invited to tour Kellogg’s command center in Battle Creek, Michigan. And from the minute I stepped into their twinkling castle of brick and glass, I had to resist every urge to swoon head over heels like a ’50s sitcom romantic.
With a colorful Kellogg’s timeline on the wall, a dedicated Eggo Waffle showcase, a 24-hour cereal bar in full view, and an overhead Snap, Crackle, and Pop banner so large it’d put Citizen Kane to shame, this place was pretty much a cereal Xanadu.
But that was just the beginning: as the kind brand marketer and PR representative who led my tour quickly assured me, I would soon be traveling through Kellogg’s past, as well as its present. Continue reading →
(Update, 12/26: Now that Cereal Time has sadly concluded, I plan to write a tribute to the series soon. Stay tuned!)
Warm the hearth, light up the tree, and fill a bowl of Cap’n Crunch with eggnog (it’s the holidays, you’ve earned it!).
Why? Because we’re unwrapping the four latest video presents in cereal wise man Gabe Fonseca’s YouTube series: Cereal Time! Every Cereal Time episode is stuffed with more fun and nostalgia than a re-gifted fruit cake is stuffed with…who knows what, because I’m not eating it. And this latest series of episodes is sure to make you merrier than a nativity scene salesman who received a surplus shipment of Jesus’s mother figurines.
Thank you, I’ll be here all week.
But enough Biblical puns: let’s have some cereal fun! Continue reading →
