With not one, but two—count ’em—two (2) exclamation points! That’s how you know Kellogg’s means business. We’ll just forget the part where s’mores are a traditional summer treat and the ice on my driveway just made me slip head over heels like Charlie Brown kicking a football.
But who can be upset when Smorz, one of the most-missed discontinued cereals, is back? Well, maybe fans of S’Mores Crunch (keep dreaming, friends).
Do Smorz hold up to the not-too-distant memories we have of them? Memories of the early 2000s that are filled with Backstreet Boys CDs, post-Y2K relief, and American Idol viewing parties? Let’s find out! Continue reading →
Can you hear it? No, it’s not the sound of tomorrow New Year’s Eve fireworks and party poppers. And no, it’s not your grumpy midwestern cousin who insists that it isn’t called “soda.”
It’s the sound of Kellogg’s wild and wonderful Pop-Tart-O-Matic, which has been eagerly popping out new flavors directly into our hungry mouths faster than we can say, “Wait, a serving size is one pastry?” Yesterday we covered the new-but-actually-secretly-from-the-late-’90s Frosted Watermelon Pop-Tarts, and today it’s time for a more straightforward flavor: Frosted Chocolatey Caramel.
Don’t worry, there won’t be any cross-contamination between the two: I made sure my toaster brushed his teeth first.
Christmas is less than a week behind us. Even though snow is still falling, tacky wreaths are still hanging, and leftover stuffing is still being refrigerated, Kellogg’s just released what might be their summeriest Pop-Tart yet (wait, “summeriest” is really a word? Saying it out loud makes me feel like a kindergartener who got vocabulary lessons from a slurring, drunken pirate).
They’re Frosted Watermelon Pop-Tarts, and even though this flavor existed way back in the ancient 1990s (doesn’t that picture look like something out of a bootleg Zoombinis game?), the nearly two decades between its appearances has nevertheless made this flavor pop up in the headlines of clickbait articles everywhere: “4 INSANE New Pop-Tart Flavors You’d be CLINICALLY INSANE to Try!”
But is it true? Will this flavor have me starring in One Chewed Over the Cuckoo’s Nest? Or will it be no zanier than Wild Grape Pop-Tarts? It’s time to stuff my toaster, stuff my face, and tell you all about this stuff. Continue reading →
Let me tell you a story, dear readers. The story of PB&J cereal.
Introduced by Quaker in the late ’80s, PB&J featured light brown peanut butter puff pieces accompanied by light magenta jelly puffs. Rumor has it that it only reached isolated test markets, and other conspiracy theorists doubt whether it existed at all.
Either way, what we do know is that PB the explorer and his canine pal J, the mascots of PB&J cereal, are now mysterious relics of cereal lore, and they have long left fans of the famous grade school lunch sandwich wishing for a cereal with the same flavor.
But now, Kellogg’s is hoping to satisfy the cravings of PB&J nuts with this brand new cereal. It’s Jif PB&J, and it combines Jif peanut butter pieces with strawberry jelly puffs. So allow me to pretend I’m in 4th grade again, as I open my crinkling bag to review this hopefully nostalgic treat.
(Man, Kellogg’s really missed an opportunity by not packaging it in brown paper lunch bags.) Continue reading →
It’s Christmas Eve Eve, or, as some call it: Christmas Adam.
The icing smiles on my gingerbread men are drying, unaware of the gruesome fates that will soon befall them. My cat is snuggled under my tree, equally unaware that presents will soon be infringing on her pine-scented territory. And, of course, there’s me, doing my best Dune voice in front of my refrigerator and whispering, “The nog must flow”to a room populated only by myself, a cat, and an army of doughy gentlemen.
Oh! And there’s this box of Rice Krispies with Holiday Colors! Continue reading →
In the checkout lane, my bought milk is glistening.
A fruity sweet sight, I’ll be eating tonight:
Chalkin’ in a Winter Blast ‘mallow land!
Good luck topping that instant classic, Michael Bublé! That’s right, my fellow cereal-loving, holiday-hyping friends, today’s seasonally appropriate review will be of Froot Loops with Winter Blast Marshmallows, a new offering from Kellogg’s for 2015 that takes the Froot Loops we all know and love (to chug down with milk!) and pairs them with little white and blue winter chalk nuggets…I mean marshmallows!
But what do these “Winter Blast” marshmallows have that differentiates them from regular Froot Loops with Marshmallows, or even with this past October’s Halloween Froot Loops with Skeleton Marshmallows? I know you’re shaking with anticipation, so please just watch the entirety of this video, and then I’ll tell you! Continue reading →
My first thought when seeing these was, “if I made my train out of those Rice Krispies with Holiday Colors, I’d probably generate enough Christmas spirit to overclock the Clausometer on Santa’s sleigh.”
And then my second thought was, “They should have dressed Tom Hanks up like Snap, Crackle, or Pop and called this ‘The Polar Krispress.'”
Oh, and then my third thought was, “Crap, crap, crap: people are giving me weird looks for snapping photos of cereal craft kits whilst muttering and chuckling to myself. Play it cool, Dan, and no one will call security.”
So while no, I don’t think these sets are new for 2015, it’s the little things like these kits that makes walking around grocery stores in December feel all the more magical. And if your first thought while reading that was, “who the heck considers grocery shopping a holiday activity?” then congratulations, you’re far more socially adjusted than me.
I also wanted to point out how disappointed I am in my local Meijer for not putting those new seasonal Krispies next to the set: that’s Marketing 101, people!
Either way, I’m eager to make these soon, if only because elaborate food crafts allow me to escape family holiday drama with the excuse of “sorry, I was too busy frosting badass flames on my locomotive-shaped brick of marshmallows and butter to notice Aunt Clara’s meltdown.”
If you’d like to see your picture or thoughts featured on a “Spooned & Spotted” post, click yourself right on over to our submissions page, or just email us at cerealously.net@gmail.com.
Pour a towering bowl of stale, decades-old Waffelos and gather round, everyone, because cereal pundit Gabe Fonseca has two new videos in his nostalgic and historic Cereal Time YouTube series that we’d like to share with you!
The first is a bit different from Gabe’s other Cereal Time videos; instead of giving an extensive rundown on the history and flavor of a specific cereal, we viewers are taken on a magical journey field trip to General Mills’ cereal archive! It’s like getting a candid, behind the scenes look at the Oval Office or the making of a Hollywood blockbuster…but 10 times better because this one involves Wackies and Sugaroos!
Which old cereal from this video would you all most like to try (or try again after many years)? As a Golden Grahams fan, the idea of eating Peanut Butter Grahams really butters my proverbial biscuit!Continue reading →
