I’ve never once eaten a Nutri-Grain bar for breakfast. So why is my breakfast blog reviewing these new Pumpkin Spice Nutri-Grain bars?
Well first, the box does call them “breakfast bars.” And second, they’re listed as “Limited Batch,” which is a much cuter, more exclusive, and more alluring term than “Limited Edition.” But most of all, Nutri-Grain bars hold a special, nostalgic place in my heart.
Seriously: whenever I have one of these miniature, flaky fruit burritos, I’m transported back to elementary school snack time. Even if I just smell a Nutri-Grain bar, my brain instinctively imagines the subtle odor of Crayola crayons in the background.
(Kindergarten me didn’t mess around with RoseArt.)
So because of my wistful relationship with Nutri-Grain “breakfast” bars, I’ve long wanted to review them on this site. And what better way to start than with Kellogg’s Pumpkin Spice Nutri-Grain bars, which are brand new for 2016?
Well, you know what this means, folks. Now that I’ve reviewed Pumpkin Spice Cheerios and Pumpkin Spice Life, once I review this Special K Pumpkin Spice Crunch, I’ll have tried every new pumpkin spice cereal, and 2016’s pumpkin spice season will be over.
Harvesters will cease harvesting. Starbucks’ Pumpkin Spice Latte taps will run dry. And maniacally grinning jack-o-lanterns will become mild mannered office workers once more.
Nah, I’m just kidding. We all know there’ll be a million new pumpkin spice breakfast bars, Greek yogurts, and Greek yogurt-filled breakfast bars on shelves before I even click the “Publish” button on this post.
But while we wait for that Nutri-Grain Bar Nutri-nitty-gritty to befall us, let’s fall into a bowl of pumpkin spice Special K instead. Continue reading →
Deep breaths, Dan. It’s only August. It’s still not socially acceptable to wear a vampire costume into work, and if you try trick-or-treating tonight, you’ll be lucky to post bail by October 31st.
But oh, brother, is it hard to not get swept up in Halloween spirit already, especially when Kellogg’s latest press release announced their full Fall lineup, including the new Frosted Caramel Apple Pop-Tarts & Chocolate Frosted Flakes with Skeleton Marshmallows cereal seen above.
The lineup also includes the previously leaked Special K Pumpkin Spice Crunch and Pumpkin Spice Nutri-Grain Bars (maybe we’ll finally see a Nutri-Grain review on this blog?), and it also confirmed that Pumpkin Spice Frosted Mini-Wheats, Special K Apple Cinnamon Crunch, Pumpkin Pie Pop-Tarts, and Pumpkin Spice Fudge Stripes will all be returning this year.
But these two new, fruity and skeletal treats are easily the most exciting products of the bunch. All these snacks are hitting shelves this month, and I look forward to rapidly eating them to the point of satisfied nausea. Just like I did with my candy on Halloween night.
Back in April, I scored an exclusive photo of a Caramel Apple Pop-Tart, and now we have the box art to match the rumors. I commend Kellogg’s for choosing green Granny Smith apples for their neon icing drizzle (which reminds me of the carpet in a bowling alley) instead of Red Delicious, and I hope it brings a puckering, tart bite to pair with the sweet caramel.
The box art also confirms that the filling comes in ribboned shades of brown. I have no idea what the implications of this are, but I do know that come October, I’ll be filling an old-timey bucket with these pastries and bobbing for them while blindfolded.
As for Chocolate Frosted Flakes with Skeleton Marshmallows, they aren’t actually new so much as they are a Frankenstein combination of old cereal bits. Chocolate Frosted Flakes (also known as Choco Zucaritas) aren’t the easiest cereal to find on shelves, but they do exist. The skeleton marshmallows, meanwhile, made their debut last Halloween in Froot Loops and Apple Jacks.
I wasn’t terribly thrilled with normal Frosted Flakes with Marshmallows, but this cereal has me happily envisioning pillow cases full of Mallo Cups. Better yet, all I’d have to do is toss in Golden Grahams (and maybe a little liquid smoke) for a taste of late summer s’mores.
Cereal aside, I’m excited about the mail-in flashlights teased on the Frosted Flakes box. They appear to come in 4 varieties, with each beaming an image of Tony the Tiger, a Pop-Tart, our lovable Rice Krispies boys, or Toucan Sam. I hope we get to choose, because I’ve never wanted anything more than to fall asleep under the grinning glow of an iridescent, anthropomorphized toaster pastry.
It would take “sweet dreams” to a whole new level.
(Product images via Kellogg’s. And once again, special thanks to Candy Hunting for tipping me off about the photos.)
Whether it’s ice cream, cappuccinos, pancakes, or Grandpa’s old 1972 Buick, everything’s better when you cover it in chocolate.
Heck, I was even gonna give you my complete, 5000+ item list of things that taste better when slathered in creamy cocoa, but I couldn’t read it because I covered the list in chocolate. Totally worth it, though: this list tastes delicious.
Rice Krispies Treats are no exception to the rule. Kellogg’s “new” Cocoa Krispies Treats—which have probably been released before—come in original and “with Milk Chocolate M&M’s Minis” varieties. Since that’s like IHOP selling Plain Waffles and Belgian Waffles with Maple Syrup for the same price, I predict that boxes of normal Cocoa Krispies Treats will slowly gather dust on grocery shelves until the zombie apocalypse, at which point they’ll be used and traded as valuable currency.
But I’m not here to talk about disappointing, underachieving, and plain Cocoa Krispies Treats. Today is all about his Harvard-bound, candy morsel-stuffed older brother. Continue reading →
While we were all prancing about in the summer sun, hatching Pokémon eggs and frying enough real eggs on the scalding pavement to give Denny’s a run for their money, Kellogg’s silently let slip their first 2016 pumpkin spice breakfast product.
It’s Limited Edition Special K Pumpkin Spice Crunch, and Kellogg’s isn’t messing around with the pumpkin spice authenticity. Taking a spicy page from 2015’s Pumpkin Spice Frosted Mini-Wheats‘ ingredients list, Pumpkin Spice Crunch combines the rice and wheat Special K flakes we all know and love tolerate with nutmeg, allspice, ginger, and cinnamon clusters.
Always the pumpkin spice bridesmaid, cloves was unavailable for comment.
It looks like this Pumpkin Spice Special K uses the same type of soft, yogurt-ish clusters as last fall’s Special K Apple Cinnamon Crunch. Since that cereal was one of the season’s tastiest surprises, I’m already excited enough for Pumpkin Spice Crunch to paint a grinning jack-o-lantern on my stomach.
(My belly button will be the candle.)
Huge shoutout to our friends at Candy Hunting for the photo above. It was found on Influenster with no additional release date information, but given how much earlier pumpkin spice products are released each successive year, you should expect to see Special K Pumpkin Spice Crunch on shelves 3 days ago.
Since I’ll be spending tomorrow stuffing my face with hot dogs while watching others competitively stuff their faces with lemonade-soaked hot dogs, I figured I’d go light today by munching on Kellogg’s seasonal Limited Edition Red, White, and Blue Rice Krispies.
Truth be told, I’m glad the only Independence Day-themed cereal available this year (we’ve had Summer Berry Pebbles before) is this one. Since it tastes exactly the same as normal Rice Krispies, I can celebrate this most laid-back holiday of the year with an appropriately laid-back review.
So, uh, yeah: if you’ve had Rice Krispies, then these taste the same. No strawberry or blueberry taste—just neon colored food dye soaked into airy rice crisp niblets. They don’t really taste like anything, for that matter. If you grit your teeth and focus like Jimmy Neutron during a brain blast, there are notes of lingering toastiness, but few people are likely to eat these as a traditional cereal (whether dry or with mush-ifying milk) anyway.
These Red, White, and Blue Rice Krispies are destined to be bathed in butter and marshmallow for use in Rice Krispies Treats. I would have made some for the purposes of this review, but I’m saving all my butter and marshmallow fluff for use in my annual “Fourth Of July Butter ‘n’ ‘Mallow Slip’n Slide,” a tradition that I totally didn’t just invent to explain why I don’t have the ingredients for Rice Krispies Treats in my house.
My family just loves apostrophes, okay?
Instead, I made you this to make up for it. These Red, White, and Blue Rice Krispies lose points for not tasting especially fun and for not having enough red and blue pieces, but in the spirit of the holiday, I’ll give ’em a few extra just for being so darn festive. Don’t hesitate to buy a box if you ever wanted to make your own cereal American flag.
Or your own cereal flag for Australia, Cambodia, Chile, the Cook Islands, Costa Rica, Croatia, Cuba, the Czech Republic, Dominican Republic, the Faroe Islands, France, Haiti, Iceland, North Korea, Laos, Liberia, Luxembourg, Malaysia, Nepal, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Panama, Paraguay, the Philippines, Puerto Rico, Russia, Samoa, Schleswig-Holstein, Serbia, Sint Maarten, Slovakia, Slovenia, Taiwan, Thailand, or United Kingdom, for that matter.
Uh, yeah, there are a lot of red, white, and blue flags.
Happy early Fourth of July, everyone: I hope all your fireworks Snap, Crackle, and Pop!
The Bowl: Rice Krispies with Red & Blue Krispies
The Breakdown: They’re Rice Krispies. They taste like Rice Krispies. Also there are red and blue ones. I want hot dogs.
The Bottom Line: 7.4 (see what I did there?) hot dog bun-shaped Rice Krispies Treats out of 10
(Quick Nutrition Facts: 120 calories, 0 grams of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein per 1 1/4 cup serving)
These are not the discontinued Frosted Chocolate Vanilla Creme Pop-Tarts you once knew and loved. No: these are Frosted Chocolate Vanilla Crème Pop-Tarts!
Do you see the difference?
It’s that sophisticated “è,” which requires you to serve every pastry as an appetizer, hors d’oeuvre, or dessert at a classy dinner gala.
See, the è has never appeared on packages before: not when Chocolate Vanilla Creme Pop-Tarts were first introduced (no one knows exactly when—not even the authoritative Pop-Tarts Wiki), not when they were discontinued in 2009, and not even when they were briefly revived in 2014 as a Limited Edition flavor for Pop-Tarts’ 50th birthday.
But now these Chocolate Vanilla Crème Pop-Tarts, complete with the accent mark, are back as a Kroger store exclusive and wrapped in debonaire foil before me. Time to scarf one down with my pinky out, like a true toaster pastry gentleman. Continue reading →
Welcome to Marshmallow Monday: a series I just invented that celebrates everyone’s favorite squishy sugar spheroids.
Mandatory Marshmallow Monday activities include playing games of Chubby Bunny, choking down pretzel marshmallow Jell-O dessert leftovers that have been in the freezer since last Thanksgiving, and sacrificing a flaming s’more to the box of Lucky Charms Marshmallows Only that sits above my fireplace.
Oh, and reviewing a marshmallow cereal, of course. Today’s is none other than Kellogg’s new Frosted Flakes with Marshmallows!
As you can see, Frosted Flakes with Marshmallows contain Frosted Flakes and marshmallows. As for the flavor, Frosted Flakes with Marshmallows tastes like Frosted Flakes…just with marshmallows.
Thank you for reading my review of Frosted Flakes with Marshmallows!
