Today I learned, thanks to the fun factoids on the back of my this cereal box, that Cosmic Brownies were named after the cosmic bowling fad—and not, in fact, after the deadly sprinkled Fudgenaut asteroid that killed the dinosaurs (they’re like dogs and can’t have chocolate).
Well, while my world has been turned upside-down like ten struck pins, I can at least sooth my addled mind with a bowl of Cosmic Brownies Cereal. Though this sequel to Oatmeal Cream Pies Cereal isn’t fully hitting stores until May, I was lucky enough to get an early sample, so I can advise you whether to buy it, or whether to just cram a real Cosmic Brownie into your Slap Chop. Continue reading →
I’ve got a lot of stuff in my pantry, and with the whirlwind that is my life lately, I can’t get around to giving everything 600 words’ worth of reviewing. So for these two new Jumbo Snax varieties, I figured I’d just tweet out my fast & furious thoughts. After all, the amount of time it takes to read a tweet is about how long it takes to finish a Jumbo Snax pouch.
BITE-SIZED REVIEW: Kellogg's Smorz Jumbo Snax are good! Spot-on for the cereal and I like combining the graham & chocolate components in one piece. With how sweet cereal is, I prefer this consistent taste to having filler marshmallows. pic.twitter.com/KVTRdMKg3z
BITE-SIZED REVIEW: Boy, I don't know how they messed up Cinnabon Jumbo Snax this bad. First of all, I only got this many pieces.
But worse, these taste….botched? Too sickly sweet, weirdly over caramelized, oily and almost burnt? Talk about a vicious spiral pic.twitter.com/L0QLWUtzJg
(Updated after the fact to include Banana Creme Pie)
You know what they say: good things come in threes. And pouches of two. Within boxes of eight.
No matter the quantity, this is some quality news for fans of fruity Pop-Tarts. I’ve discussed before how if you like Pop-Tarts, you’re probably in one of three camps: a Fruity Freak, a Chocoholic, or a Brown Sugar Cinnamon Purist. And for that first camp, this unexpected trio is sure to make you, well, a happy camper.
Between Lemon Creme Pie Pop-Tarts, Tropical Mango Pop-Tarts, and Peach Cobbler, only lemon and mango have appeared in Kellogg’s toaster pastried form before—in fact, Pink Lemonade Pop-Tarts are returning to shelves as we speak/drool, so I wonder what will be different about Lemon Creme Pie. Regardless, the stand-out flavor here is Peach Cobbler, marking a bold foray into the Pop-Tart world for everyone’s favorite butt-shaped fruit.
These flavors can already be found on grocer Meijer’s website, though it will likely be a few weeks before they start hitting shelves. Which of the three has got your mouth watering like a juiced melon?
After I posted this, Kellogg’s also announced Banana Creme Pie Pop-Tarts, which will be store exclusives. No word on which store yet, but since these are 16-packs, it’s probably safe to assume Walmart.
Move over, Venus de Milo, there’s a new disarmingly charming gummy in town.
These Froot Loops Gummies from the artisan gummy sculptors at Galerie Candy appeal directly to my pectin-pumping heart. I’ve always loved gummy candy, from gummy worms and blue sharks to Sour Patch Kids, Krabby Patties, and 3-ft gummy boa constrictors. Everything but Swedish Fish, which wow me about as much as those flimsy red fortune-telling fish. Plus why settle for Swedish Fish when you have sour octopi?
Speaking of sour, I hope these Froot Loops Gummies have at least a little bit of tang. Some preliminary tasters seem to suggest so:
Regardless of their pucker power, Froot Loops Gummies are bound to be tasty if they’re accurate to their namesake. They’re coming out this Halloween season, but you can literally sign up for Froot Loops Gummies notifications through Galerie Candy if you’re truly loopy for these sweet, sweet chews and don’t want to wait a day too long. Through that link, you’ll also see this incredibly simple but no less convincing description for the Gummies:
These bags of Froot Loops Gummies come in two sizes and taste exactly like Froot Loops in gummy form. This new item is delicious and fun and we can’t wait for you to try!
Delicious and fun? Well, that’s all I needed to hear! Time to refresh my email for seven months straight.
Have you ever watched helplessly as your favorite breakfast product disappears from shelves, lost to the dark sea of indefinite corporate discontinuation? I’m sure most cereal fans have been there before—from Milk Chocolate Graham Pop-Tarts to Cap’n Crunch’s Orange Creampop Crunch, I’ve certainly got my fair share of long-lost loves.
In this state of morning munchie mourning, you’ve probably thought, “I’ll start a petition to bring my fav back!” And while this is certainly an inspiring idea, it’s always been impossible to tell whether even the most popular cereal petition could successfully reanimate a dead product from its grainy graveyard.
Well, until now, because Kellogg’s has outright said that a fan petition to bring back Froot Loops Cereal Straws is exactly what’s making it happen. So there you have it: all you need to bring back a discontinued snack is 12 years and over 81,000 signatures.
Existing from around 2007–2009, Froot Loops Cereal Straws made a huge nostalgic impact in a short time. I’m not gonna say they were functionally the best breakfast innovation—the things are so fragile that a nearby sneezing bee could reduce each straw to shards and rubble—but these cereal straws were still so fun. From cereal milk to smoothies, everything was fair game to suck up with these suckers. Heck, I was even tempted to go to town on one of those shimmering rainbow oil puddles.
Froot Loops Cereal Straws, as well as Cocoa Krispies Cereal Straws, will return to shelves this October in 5, 18, and 24 count sizes. No word yet on whether Apple Jacks Cereal Straws, which also released over a decade ago, may return, too.
With news of two more cereals getting the oversized snack pouch treatment, it seems Kellogg’s is going all in with their JUMBO SNAX (yes, the all-caps is mandatory) line. I’ll admit, I wasn’t overly impressed with the first quartet of big honkin’ Froot Loops, Apple Jacks, Frosted Flakes Tiger Paws and Caramel Corn Pops, but these latest announcements have me jumbouncing with anticipation.
Compared to those four cereals, Smorz and Cinnabon are B-Team Kellogg’s cereals. They rarely get the same attention when it comes to limited edition variants—in fact, neither Smorz nor Cinnabon has ever had a spinoff flavor. This isn’t because they taste bad. Far from it! Cinnabon brings a solid, balanced cinnamon–sugar sweetness, while Smorz’ graham puffs are top notch in pillowy texture and dense taste that distinguishes itself from s’mores cereals’ Golden Graham’d genre standard.
Hence why I think these JUMBO SNAX will be good, too, even if both cereals benefit more from milk than dry munching—meaning you shouldn’t let their on-the-go premise stop your from dumping JUMBO SNAX into a bowl. If there’s anything that leaves me hesitant about this duo it’s, a) Smorz’ decision to remove marshmallows, and b) the fact that so few JUMBO SNAX come in a pouch. But since these exist in the first place, JUMBO SNAX must be pretty popular, so I salute Kellogg’s for bringing Smorz and Cinnabon up from the minor leagues.
Expect to see both of these JUMBO SNAX in stores this April.
Just look at this box art and tell me it doesn’t make you want a Kellogg’s All-Stars Battle Royale game. I’d totally main the Raisin Bran sun until they eventually have to nerf him for being celestially OP.
Dream brawlers aside, the second entry in Kellogg’s fighters pass of mashed-up cereals has been announced and it’s…a bit of a clunker. Frosted Flakes + Apple Jacks isn’t exactly an innovative evolution from Frosted Flakes + Froot Loops. My personal new cereal hopes are frequently dashed, but I didn’t think it that unrealistic to expect Kellogg’s to try two totally different mix-ins this time around.
Like Corn Pops + Honey Smacks, maybe. Or Krave + Cocoa Krispies. Anything but Frosted Flakes again, since it adds very little to a two-cereal fusion. It basically just “Yes, and”s the other one’s sweetness, and that’s what I expect from Frosted Flakes + Apple Jacks. It’s not often that I’m outright dismissive of a cereal from the get-go, but since this Mashup is about as predictable as a new cereal can be, Frosted Flakes + Apple Jacks is going to have to twist fate and unlock some arcane flavor magic to impress me.
If you need any more reasons to temper your appetite, here’re two: Shaq’s Frosted Flakes with Crispy Cinnamon Basketballs are already the exact same thing, with the added bonus of getting to say the phrase “Crispy Cinnamon Basketballs.” Not to mention how Cinnamon Frosted Flakes exist, yet neither this Mashup nor Shaq’s cereal makes use of them. Since Cinnamon Frosted Flakes and Apple Jacks have very different cinnamon interpretations, that could’ve actually been fun!
Oh well. By the way, if you want to play an actual cereal fighting game, Cereal Killaz is a cool indie project to consider helping fund!
When it comes out, I’m totally gonna pick Sonnie 2 Shanks and 1v1 a Kellogg’s marketing exec. Winner picks the next Mashup!
Here’s a little fun fact for all you Bible fans—something King James won’t tell you. The original forbidden fruit? Oh, it wasn’t an apple. Nope, wasn’t a grape, a fig, or even one of Eden’s finest snozzberries, either. It was just a big ol’ hunk of raw cookie dough, hanging off the tree.
So God was like, “Hey now, don’t eat those, you could get sick!” But the serpent goes, “C’moooon, salmonella occurs in fewer than 1 out of 20,000 eggs!” Long story short, God had to kick Adam and Eve out of the garden because they kept vomiting everywhere.
Harsh, maybe, but you ever smell a burning puke bush? Terrible for heavenly PR.
Since then, fear of cookie dough consequences has rarely stopped anyone from indulging in this original sin-full sweetness. In fact, this carnal compulsion is so deeply human that companies have innovated all kinds of ways to manufacture, safe, edible cookie dough. Including this newest entry into the Krave franchise of cereals: Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Krave.
Now I love Krave (unlike many, I know), and I adore chocolate chip cookie dough, so my expectations for this cereal are higher than the maximum preheat temperature on my oven. Plus, this is the first explicitly chocolate chip cookie dough cereal—the underrated Keebler Cereal comes closest—but if anyone can pull it off, it would be the brilliant Kelloggian minds behind Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Pop-Tarts. Continue reading →
