Tag Archives: kellogg’s

News: Cinnamon Corn Flakes

New Cinnamon Corn Flakes

Oh, alright. : )

Was that your reaction to new Cinnamon Corn Flakes? It was certainly mine. What can I say: there’s a reason Corn Flakes doesn’t get new flavors very often. Two reasons, honestly. For one thing, if you’re like me, you’re way more likely to use Corn Flakes to bread something than to eat it as an actual cereal. Secondly, why eat Corn Flakes when Frosted Flakes kinda knock Corn Flakes out of the chicken coop in both quantity and quality of flavor?

But sure, there are plenty of people who like less-sweet cereals, so you reading this may very well be cluckin’ pumped about Cinnamon Corn Flakes. Positively cocka-doodle-doodling little maize-gold hearts in the margins of your diary.

Since Cinnamon Frosted Flakes likewise exist and are good, I’m interested to see how Cinnamon Corn Flakes directly compare. Such a dichotomy reminds me of how Cinnamon Cheerios debuted as a dimmed-down Cinnamon Cheerios Oat Crunch, yet still managed to have a unique cinna-charm all its own.

Guess we’ll just have to wait and see, but not long: Cinnamon Corn Flakes should be hitting stores this month.

Review: New Fruity Pop-Tarts (Peach Cobbler, Banana Creme Pie & Lemon Creme Pie!)

New Peach Cobbler, Banana Creme Pie, and Lemon Creme Pie Pop-Tart Boxes

Picture it: somewhere, just at the fringes of your imagination, in the middling space between reality and the dreamworld, lies a shimmering castle made from pastry crust. And it is in this prismatic palace—where the lucid may not set foot, lest they wish to be toasted into this kingdom’s very foundations—that a great and powerful sorcerer distills the divine will of some great cosmic breakfast entity into new Pop-Tart flavors.

I mean, sure, it sounds farfetched, but how else do you explain the sheer lunacy of all these new Pop-Tarts?

Pshh, like some buttoned-up bozos in a boardroom could dream up Banana Creme Pie Pop-Tarts. Don’t make me laugh. We all know the toaster pastries I’m about to try stem from just three of Frosted Lord Convectia’s many holy appendages.

Now, allow me to pay Him his due respects, by gorging myself on a bacchanal buffet of processed fruit rectangles. Continue reading

Review: Mister E. Pop-Tarts (Mystery Flavor!)

New Mystery Flavor Pop-Tarts Review Box

What’s the opposite of the Kool-Aid Man? A hollowed-out cherry full of molten glass?

Well whoever he is, somebody better call him, because we’re gonna need a hearty “Oh, noooooo” to kick this review off.

I know, I know: I just shared the news about these Mystery Flavor Pop-Tarts two days ago, and here I am already reviewing them. Well, despite having a portly pantry’s worth of actual cereals awaiting review, after tasting Mister E. Pop-Tarts I knew they had to jump the queue.

See, Pop-Tarts didn’t do what Great Value Mystery Toaster Pastries did, by introducing a fruit punchy flavor so vague it could be anything from grape to grapefruit. However, Pop-Tarts also didn’t do what I hoped they would do: introduce a universally palatable, yet unique, flavor like Chocolate Hazelnut or Honey Pop-Tarts.

No, what Pop-Tarts did was bold—exceptionally so, considering how you have to blindly commit to 16 Pop-Tarts when you buy these.

What Pop-Tarts did…was totally prank us. Continue reading

News: Mystery Flavor Pop-Tarts

Mystery Flavor Pop-Tarts Box

Hmm, moustache flavor?

Ooh: sunglasses flavor?

Well, I’m all out of ideas. I guess it’s hard to guess when I haven’t tasted new Mystery Flavor Pop-Tarts, or Mister E. Pop-Tarts, as they’re calling them. At least we won’t have to wait long, as Mister E. Pop-Tarts are hitting shelves this month. Here’s the origin story from Kellogg’s:

“How did this flavor come to be? Rumor has it, a masked culprit broke into the Pop-Tarts factory and created a mysterious and delicious new flavor. Pop-Tarts loved it so much, they hired Mister E, a world-class flavor investigator and title character on the new Pop-Tarts box, to solve the case. 

But Mister E needs help from Pop-Tarts lovers everywhere! Fans are invited to share their best flavor guesses for a chance to win epic prizes. After taking a bite, just scan the QR code on the box to visit the entry website and submit your guess. The sweepstakes opens May 27, 2021.”

Honestly, I’m more interested in whether there’ll be a canonical answer as to who the “masked culprit” was. Maybe that’s just a copyright neutral way of explaining why the mystery flavor is like, Crunch Berries or something.

Ultimately, this isn’t the first time a toaster pastry brand has tested our taste buds with an edible enigma: Walmart’s Great Value Toaster Pastries had a mystery flavor back in 2018. I don’t think the truth was ever fully revealed—and the taste was super generic, so I said “Fruit Punch.” Hopefully Mister E. Pop-Tarts—whatever the heck they are—are distinctive enough to tantalize the tip of my tongue.

Bite-Sized Review: New Strawberry Rice Krispies Treats

My cereal cupboard overfloweth, so a tweet will suffice for this pink eat (that kinda looks like meat).

Quick Review: Kellogg’s Together with Pride Cereal

Aw man, we were this close to seeing a squad fight in the cereal aisle.

See, Kellogg’s first cereal team-up with GLAAD—raising awareness and funds for LGBTQ+ rights—was “All Together Cereal.” This infamous Super Smash Bros. Ultimate of cereals may not have actually combined six cereals in one box (they were mini boxes inside a bigger box), but I was hoping that in future iterations Kellogg’s might get bolder and try loose mixing + added DLC characters. It also would’ve been convenient timing for All Together to return, just as hype is building around the General Mills’ marbit-soup that is Monster Mash Cereal.

Franchise vs. Franchise. That would be like if Smash Bros. crossed-over with…Digimon Rumble Arena 2.

But nope, instead we get a note-for-note technicolor remaster of 2019’s Caticorn Cereal. Together with Pride tastes exactly the same, and Caticorn wasn’t exactly memorable. If I didn’t have a big fluffy mystical white cat myself, that crunchy cryptid would’ve dissolved into my subconscious aether a year ago.

Like Caticorn, Together with Pride is very generically fruity. It’s difficult and unproductive trying to detect any traces of raspberry or strawberry specifically, because it all gets gummed together by a sticky sugar sheen and the additional cloying sweetness of each piece’s “edible glitter.” Imagine the fakest berry taste you can, then make it hollower and glossier.

Milk can help tone down the artificiality a bit, but Together with Pride’s color evokes Froot Loops, and with that I can’t help but compare the two. What this needs is a juicier, more tropical twist, because as it stands…I’m just gonna leave this bowl standing here.

Maybe it’ll solidify into a cereal milk candle.

The Bottom Line: 4 good causes with bad executions out of 10

Review: Special K Dipped Chocolatey Almond

New Chocolatey Almond Special K with Chocolate-Dipped Flakes Box

Dipped. Dunked. Coated. Frosted. There are many dramatic ways—each dastardly and delightful—to bestow chocolatey goodness upon an otherwise indecently nude food morsel. I’ll be honest that I didn’t really know there was an industry distinction between chocolate-coated and chocolate-dipped flakes, but thanks to this allegedly groundbreaking new variety of Special K, we can be assured that choco-coated flakes are totally boring ol’ fudgy-duddies, while their dipped brethren are show-stopping pioneers in their field.

That’s a lot of hype for the cereal equivalent of Lay’s chocolate-dipped potato chips, which ended up having more charming novelty than rubber dog poop, but far less than those top hat-wearing drinking birds. Those guys have charm and novelty dripping down their felted chins! Let’s see how hip this chocolate dip really is.

(It was between that lame rhyming line and “let’s see how fun this ‘due really is.”) Continue reading

News: Kellogg’s Together with Pride Cereal

Picture this: a new Smash Bros. game drops by total surprise. The catch? Now each and every beloved fighter, from Egg Dinosaur to Hungry Pink Ball and Singing Pink Ball, has been replaced by a generic Mii Fighter costume.

That’s kind of what Kellogg’s upcoming Together with Pride Cereal is like. See, it’s a spiritual successor to Kellogg’s All Together Cereal, which Kellogg’s has sold online for limited times during the past two years, to celebrate Pride month and raise money for GLAAD, an LGTBQ+ rights non-profit. And while All Together Cereal was a preposterously cool amalgamation of several Kellogg’s cereals, Together with Pride Cereal is a heart-shaped cereal whose “delicious new recipe features berry-flavored, rainbow hearts dusted with edible glitter.”

Unfortunately, this is a foreboding flavor descriptor, as it all but guarantees Together with Pride Cereal will taste like Kellogg’s similarly glittered Caticorn Cereal, which had adorable box art but was about as bland and uniform as a real cereal for cats might be.

Not to mention, Kellogg’s Pride Month efforts always end up coming off pretty rainbow capitalism-y. Not saying it’s a bad thing that GLAAD is raising funds through this cereal, but it seems like it’d be way more earnest for Kellogg’s to just donate a bunch of money outright instead of asking people to buy the cereal from stores, and then validate the purchase on Kellogg’s Family Rewards site before the company will donate $3.

My ever-present uneasiness with big corporations signaling solidarity aside, I’d love nothing more than to reanimate John Harvey Kellogg and show him this art of a Mini-Wheat holding a progress pride flag.

Kellogg’s Together with Pride Cereal will debut in select major retailers this May.