What does late-stage pumpkin mania look like?
Yeah, yeah: I’m not suggesting that this country’s obsession with autumnal seasoning is going to be squashed out any time soon—I’ve made that mistake for about three consecutive years now. But I am saying that we are approaching an absurdity threshold, where even illogical products are being consecrated by this harvested incense.
And the breakfast aisle is no exception. On the surface, Frosted Flakes is a cereal dominated by tame flavors like chocolate and cinnamon—other cereals like this include Golden Grahams and Corn Pops—but it’s trying out this whole pumpkin spice thing with the timeliness of my grandpa doing the Harlem Shake. Plus on the back is a decked-out Halloween music festival called “Tony’s Pumpkin Up the Jams Fest.” Which is honestly a pretty unforgivable pun…
…that I wish I had thought of first.
Taking hipness out of the equation, I must still evaluate Pumpkin Spice Frosted Flakes with the unbiasedly refined palate of a cereal journalist. Or of Einstein’s dog, I guess. Continue reading