Or perhaps it would be more appropriate to say, “my soul has been waiting for this moment for over 40 years.”
Since Fall has officially begun, I felt it was time to do something big to ring in the Halloween season. And by “ring,” I don’t mean “put 5 plastic spider rings on every finger and pretend to be the world’s lamest horror movie villain.” No, I’m going to eat a box of Frute Brute that I saved from 2013’s revival of the werewolf monster cereal that originally debuted in 1974. Continue reading →
I remember a simpler time. A time we call…elementary school.
Back in those days of yore, the lunchroom took upon its own savage ecosystem, with rivaling table kingdoms each simultaneously isolated in their rituals and customs but also warring and bartering with neighbors. Within each kingdom was a long-developed economy of trade, in which treats brought from home carried value that could only be priced in terms of other foods. And like a real economy, these values were ever-fluctuating.
But there was one processed snack that never deviated in its worthiness as edible currency: Fruit Roll-Ups.
While a plastic baggie of half-crumbled cookies may have been worth 3 pre-packaged fruit cups one day and nothing but stale graham crackers the next (after the crash of the unpredictable schoolyard stock market on Oreos, most likely), Fruit Roll-Ups were the gold standard. They never failed to attract the attention of brown paper bag-toting snack brokers everywhere.
It doesn’t take much to put me in the Halloween spirit.
A bag full of flimsy plastic spider rings? Yep. A sheet of glittery pumpkin stickers? Yep. Heck, even a hastily-drawn doodle of a sheet ghost in the margins of a notebook can turn me into the human personification of these emojis:
🎃👻💀
That’s why Kellogg’s new Halloween edition Krave cereal may be an incredibly simple concept on the surface, but it still has me crying happy, pumpkin spice-scented tears of anticipation for the month to come. Is that an exaggeration? I’ll let your imagination decide. Continue reading →
It feels just like Christmas morning…that is, if your idea of Christmas morning involves carved pumpkins, $2 fake cobwebs from CVS, and VHS tapes of the Halloween series playing on infinite repeat (yes, even The Curse of Michael Myers is welcome here).
Why is that?
Because monster cereals are back, baby!
Even though it’s only mid-September, and people haven’t even put away their Labor Day decorations yet (you mean you don’t have a giant inflatable businessman on your front lawn?), Walgreen’s is already committed to injecting the orange and black life essence of Halloween straight into the veins of consumers. Okay, maybe a poor choice of verbiage for a place that contains a pharmacy. Continue reading →
(EDIT 10/3: My review of Halloween Krave is live! Click here to read it! My review of Halloween Apple Jacks and Froot Loops can be read by clicking here!)
It’s all treats and no tricks from Kellogg’s this Halloween season. While General Mills has let their Monster Cereals out of the sarcophagus yet again, and Cap’n Crunch himself is spooking the cereal aisle with Halloween Crunch, the good people at Kellogg’s are firing on all cylinders with three fresh scares of their own.
First up is a jack-o-lantern colored Krave cereal. Unfortunately, the regular cereal shell is merely dyed orange, and there’s no unique pumpkin spice, candy corn, or even sweet potato flavor (okay, maybe that last one was a bit of a stretch). Just the same, milk-guzzling biscuit with that ol’ delicious milk chocolate filling.
I also secretly hoped for yellow dyed filling to mimic the healthy glow of a carved lantern, but this radiant orange is still enough to turn my Hallo-hype meter from “fun-sized” to “king-sized.”
Alongside Krave are new varieties of Froot Loops and Apple Jacks. Both fruity cereals will get marshmallows shaped like the different anatomical sections of a skeleton. This way, you can either build your own full skeleton or simply revel in the cannibalistic joy of chewing on pelvis-shaped sugar bits.
All three cereals come in delightful boxes that paint their respective mascots in dramatized, horror movie-esque styles. The Krave Chocovore is Coming to get you, Barbara, Toucan Sam has spent too long in the Overlook Hotel, and Apple & Cinnamon just stumbled on a house they can easily steal from, since the only person home is Macauley Caulkin. Wait, wrong holiday.
Look for these limited edition boxes in a store near you soon. But don’t wait too long: missing a bowl of these will surely make you howl in disappointment.
