Another day, another free granola sample from Attune Foods that I’ll happily review because it means I didn’t have to pay for my own breakfast. But as usual, receiving my morning meal via USPS doesn’t mean that I’ll be pulling any punches or crunches when taste testing.
I accept all free samples, but I give no free rides.
Today’s spotlighted spoonful is Simply Vanilla Granola. With its abbreviated ingredient list, highlighted organic and gluten-free promises, and stout packaging design, this granola really wants to appear simple. It’s a lot like me: I spend a lot of time convincing people I’m a man of simple pleasures, when in reality I have a .txt file of “cool cereal adjectives” saved to my desktop.
Let’s see if Simply Vanilla Granola earns any of those effervescently grandiose adjectives. Continue reading →
Pumpkin dominates fall. Gingerbread and peppermint have a stranglehold on winter, while sugar cookie and eggnog watch on with buttered jealousy. Carrot cake has carved out a weird spring niche. Strawberry, s’mores, and good ol’ American apple pie vie for summer dominance.
So many flavors have seasonal attachments. But where does maple belong? Maple has long been a jack of all seasons, a flavor that we take for granted since it’s always available in glass bottles, plastic grandmother figures, and those charming metal carafes they supply at Denny’s.
But I think maple deserves its own season. You know what, “deserves” isn’t strong enough: maple has worked hard for our waffles and taste buds, so it demands a time of the year to call its own. Early September is a good time to start, because it’s just too early for most people to go off the pumpkin deep end, and it’s slightly too late to use those overripe strawberries in a shortcake. Some might argue that March is a better time, since that’s maple syrup harvesting season, but this review needed a creative introduction, so give me a break.
Here’s to you, maple. Let’s celebrate with Peace Cereal’s Maple Pecan Granola, which contains none other than real maple syrup. Continue reading →
Chunks of rock are underrated. Whether you’re gazing at geodes in a museum, winning a piece of the Aggro Crag on Nickelodeon GUTS, or simply throwing things in the quarry with Creed from The Office, chunks of rock are versatile and fun.
And edible chunks of rock are delicious, too. Fruity Pebbles, rock candy, chocolate-covered rocks, and Rocky Road ice cream? All of the above, please! The latest snack to join this honorable lineage of gravel is Nature Valley’s Granola Crunch. These green satchels come in Cinnamon and Maple Brown Sugar, and they promise to contain 21 Nature Valley Granola Bars-worth of flavor-packed oat rectangles that fell apart on the granola bar assembly line lovingly crafted oat bites.
I’ve recently had a personal granola rebirth, so I’m excited to bathe in the warm-baked glory of these craggy crumbs. Continue reading →
If you haven’t heard, I’m now a born-again granola evangelist.
See, I once doubted that granola was right for me. It felt wrong to munch on sticky Aggro Crag chunks of oats and healthy protein while I sat criss-cross applesauce in front of a Nickelodeon Guts marathon. But then a wise granola sensei taught me that “it’s not about the nutrition destination: it’s about the cinnamon syrup-coated journey.”
Or maybe I just read that on the back of an ’80s Southern Comfort Cookbook in the 10-for-$1 bin at a Salvation Army. I can’t quite remember.
Regardless, I’m ready to start seeing other granolas again. And thankfully, Nature Valley has just pushed out these new Granola Crunch pouches. Each satchel comes in either Maple Brown Sugar or Cinnamon and promises to contain the equivalent of 21 Nature Valley granola bars.
Anyone who’s ever sat on a Nature Valley granola bar, left a Nature Valley granola bar in their pocket, or even looked at a Nature Valley granola bar for more than 5 seconds knows that those things love to explode into avalanches of microscopic crumbs, so I don’t doubt Nature Valley’s claim. They probably just stuffed 21 bars into each bag and said some rude words about them behind their back.
Poor Nature Valley granola bars: too fragile for this world.
Oh, and here’s a bonus Spooned & Spotted for those of you who tragically don’t follow Cerealously on Instagram. Chex cereals are starting to roll out new box designs, and these ones are way more aesthetically pleasing. Posting this photo of those geometrically crisp pieces probably just made my high school geometry teacher cheer out loud without even knowing why.
I spotted both all of these products at Kroger, but if you’ve seen or tasted something awesome, you can send your picture or thoughts and have them featured on a “Spooned & Spotted” post. All you have to do is head over to our submissions page or email us at cerealously.net@gmail.com.
I was once content with being a mere granola observer. But thanks to Nature’s Path Organic Ancient Grains Granola, I’m a believer.
You see, I used to view granola as cereal’s athletic and beefy older sibling. While cereal and I were happy crashing on the couch with a bowlful of technicolor sugar whirlpools, granola was climbing mountains of Greek yogurt and swimming in protein shakes. I never hated granola for being more active than me, but you better believe I turned up the volume on The Price is Right when he walked into the room.
But all that has changed. After a failed search for Sam’s Club’s economy-sized boxes of Multigrain Cheerios + Ancient Grains, I braved Costco instead for something to satisfy my ancient yearnings. And despite sounding like the premise of another Scorpion King sequel (they made five of those movies?), that Costco quest led me to this epiphanic tweet:
It's 1:32 A.M. and I just ate the greatest granola of my life. More to come on this soon…
I’m glad Raisin Bran Granola is here to keep me moving. No, not that kind of moving, though it does boast 24% of my daily recommended fiber per serving.
No, I mean moving moving. While I may look like a hip and spry youngster, as soon as I pour my morning bowl of Raisin Bran cereal and cup of coffee, I become about as old and slow as Benjamin Button was at my age.
Like a grandpa with his newspaper, I ponder every raisin like there’s a Nietszche quote written in its wrinkles.
But now that Kellogg’s has debuted two flavors of Raisin Bran Granola (this one and Cranberry Almond) in convenient on-the-go pouches, I feel obligated to leave my cereal bowl behind, go climb mountains, and gaze into abysses that will gaze also into me.
Pumpkin season might be over, but flax season has just begun! Get ready for Flax Spice Lattes, Flax-scented hand soap, and flax-o-lantern seed carving contests.
Okay, I definitely just made up “flax season” for the purposes of this review, but it makes sense. If we eat healthy things with flax in them now, when it’s time for summer barbecues and pool lounging, we can feel justified in going Kobayashi on a pack of hot dogs.
How does that old saying go? Oh yeah:
“April flax brings Lay’s Stax!”
Flax isn’t the most common things to find in the breakfast aisle, especially outside of Canada, but if you’re feeling the need for seed, Sweet Home Farm has you covered with their Pumpkin Flax granola.
I’m definitely going to try it: half because I want to, and half because my hand won’t fit any deeper into my can of Lay’s Stax.
The Great Nut Pronunciation Civil War is in its darkest hour. The armies of “pih-cahn” are closing in on the forces of “pee-can.” There was once a small tribe of heretics who insisted it was “pee-khan,” but they were quickly laughed off the battlefield.
Both sides have been assaulted, both have been “a salted,” and the wise delegate Mr. Peanut refuses to mediate. But there is one things both camps can agree on.
Maple syrup glazed pecans taste really, really freaking good.
That being said, would Sweet House Farm’s Maple Pecan Granola be tasty enough to make peace between these fighters? To save our future world from being split in two like peanuts from their shell, I decided to find out. Continue reading →
