Like buying a gift for the person who has everything, or picking toppings for the bagel that is Everything, it’s tough saying much about a cereal line like Cheerios Oat Crunch, whose simple concept and already much-lauded lineage seems to speak for itself.
It’s got oats, and it’s got a whole lot of crunch. What’s not to love? Already released in both Cinnamon and Oats & Honey, Cheerios Oat Crunch has earned nothing but high marks and brimming enthusiasm from me. Oats & Honey in particular was named the #1 cereal of 2019—and it was probably the best cereal of the 2010s as a whole, too.
— Cerealously 🥛🥣 (@cerealouslynet) May 15, 2021
With that said, new Almond Cheerios Oat Crunch simultaneously has big, ring-shaped shoes to fill as well as a very low bar to clear. Because if it’s anything at all like its predecessors, it’ll easily be a bombastic breakfast. But the only way to find out is to dig in, eh?
For one thing, its name and eye-catching box art alone are sure to make Dulce de Leche Toast Crunch one of this summer’s most hyped cereals. Second, there’s a lot going on here: like if someone threw a bunch of butter and caramel and milk and cinnamon and ten other things from a confectioner’s cupboard into a washing machine—and then threw that washing machine, plus a dryer and two fridges (for good measure) into an industrial rock tumbler.
But as your friendly neighborhood cereal blogger, I will do my darnedest to demystify these squares and their witch’s brew of golden goo. Continue reading →
Honestly, I’m starting to think a weird game of telephone went on at General Mills HQ. They heard our continued cries to restore oat flour to their Monster Cereals (which didn’t work), and interpreted it as “people want more cereal-flavored oatmeals!”
But hey, I’m not complaining—because it finally gives me a chance to talk about hot cereal on this site, which I coldly and rarely do, despite claiming to be a blog for all cereal. As you can see in the above image, posted this week by General Mills, there are a number of releases we already knew about, plus some surprises. Namely, Lucky Charms Oatmeal and Cinnamon Toast Crunch Oatmeal (both of which have previously released as Canadian exclusives), plus new Cocoa Puffs Oatmeal and Trix Oatmeal. If I had to guess, I’d predict Cocoa Puffs will be the standout star, as chocolate tends to infuse beautifully into oatmeal—especially when you toss in some chocolate chips that melt into lovely little landmines.
Also of note here is the return of Team Cheerios. This stuff first debuted way back in 1996 to support the U.S. Olympian team, but it stuck around for a few years after as a Wheaties-esque celebration of all things athletic. Interestingly enough, despite the cereals discontinuation, you’ve always technically been able to enjoy the stuff, provided you’re willing to invest in a 96-count box of Team Cheerios Strawberry Cereal Bars.
However, while the original Team Cheerios combined regular, Multigrain, and Frosted Cheerios with an added brown sugar booster, 2021’s reunion is “Frosted Berry” flavored, which I would guess means these are a sweeter version of Very Berry Cheerios. Either way, I’m skipping the milk and eating these with Gatorade for peak performance.
Ever seen a grown man lean back, squeeze and gulp a whole yogurt cup like he’s a lactobacillic Popeye? Well, for the sake of my area’s grocery store security guards, I sure hope they have, because if there’s no precedent or protocol in place, they might have a tough time stopping my toot-tooting Trix Yogurt-powered form from bench-pressing the dairy cooler.
I’m just that excited about Trix Yogurt returning to conventional stores. I say “conventional” because, though Trix Yogurt has been hard for mainstream consumers to track down for years now, this sweet pastel nostalgia slop has been available in bulk to General Mills’ foodservice partners for some time. But while the foodservice includes fun, familiar flavors like Strawberry Banana and Raspberry Rainbow, Trix Yogurt’s brick-and-mortar revival is stripping back the silliness to just two straightforward tastes: Strawberry and, uh, straw-less Berry.
This is a bit sad, since I’ll miss Cotton Candy and Wildberry Trix Yogurts most of all, but I understand how it’s hard to make the same “healthy low-fat snack” pitch to lunch-packing parents when the stuff is flavored with abstract or otherwise fictional ingredients.
But hey, if these newly returned Trix Yogurt cups are as good as the smoothie version from last year, I’m willing to bury the hatchetfruit and start making some umbrella’d summer yogurt cocktails. Let’s get silly!
And on this day, Mother’s Day 2021, General Mills delivered something beautiful into this world.
Well, sort of. It’s complicated.
First off, we’ve known about the above Monster Mash Cereal—which brings all five iconic Halloween cereal mascots together—for some time now, but it was always shown with placeholder box art featuring Monster renders taken from collectible pins. This raised alarm bells among skeptics, but now thanks to Cerealously reader Mikey H. (seriously: thank you!), we can put all doubts about Monster Mash cereal to a peaceful rest.
See, the stuff is now listed on Instacart, and in addition to featuring this clearly more-finalized box art, this listing gives us a few more hints about the broader Monster Cereal 50th anniversary that prompted this gift of a quintuple feature.
“…the world’s most monster group is back together for a limited-edition cereal, and to record their own version of the greatest monster anthem of all time.”
There’s also a mention of MonsterMashCereal.com, where you can listen to the Monsters cover the actual Monster Mash classic, but the site isn’t live just yet, so you’d better develop some werewolf’s paw-thick finger callouses and start pressing CTRL+R between now and late summer, which is when each year’s Monster Cereals typically get formal announcements.
However, I think the most fun thing to speculate for now is just what this cereal will look like in a bowl. Besides the claim that marshmallow shapes and colors may vary, the lineup at the box’s top suggests a very marbit-heavy cereal with just two ghost pieces. These two appear to be Boo Berry and Franken Berry pieces, with the other Monsters represented by respective marbits.
I’m torn on this: on one hand, it’s smart to leave Chocula ghosts out of the mix, since every other Monster Cereal is fruit forward. But at the same time, I really hope the marbits have unique flavors, otherwise this is just another generic berry cereal with Brute and Mummy painted on for nostalgia value.
Guess there’s nothing left to do but wait and find out. If you need me, I’ll be in a sensory deprivation mausoleum to prime my autumnal appetite.
BITE-SIZED REVIEW: Ghostbusters Cereal is a low point for licensed cereals, which are rarely good to begin with. They didn't even bother giving this a quirky flavor name—which is fitting, because the puffs have no flavor, save for the haunting pale specter of stale Franken Berry. pic.twitter.com/NCzkI26TFD
— Cerealously 🥛🥣 (@cerealouslynet) May 1, 2021
Look, I wanted to write a full post about this one, but it…it did not give me much to go on. Skip it, ‘nough said.
Why? Because with this, Lucky the Leprechaun has become the first Irelander in space. And, for some reason, he leaves his hat on while wearing a space helmet. C’mon General Mills, show us those luscious ginger locks!
Galactic Lucky Charms are pretty straightforward: they don’t change the cult-classic Lucky Charms formula, instead just adding three in inter-(and entirely)-stellar marshmallows shaped like planets and a rocket ship. I think these marbits look great and very appetizing, as they remind me of the kind of impossibly immaculate model ideas they put on Play-Doh packaging. I also like the strange amorphous shadow lurking behind Lucky on the packaging, suggesting some sort of calamitous, Giygas-esque antagonist whom Lucky will soon slay with the reality-altering power contained within these three arcane marbits.
Well, hopefully, at least. Sorry, I get pretty headcanon-y when I’m hungry.
Did someone order fast food? Because I’m back with a quick, drive-through tweet reviews of two new cereal pouches in my pantry that aren’t quite substantial enough to chew over for the full length of a blog post. Chocolate Honeycomb Big Bites are now on shelves alongside regular, honey Big Bites, while Chocolate Toast Crunch Remix has debuted with Cinnamon Toast Crunch Remix and Golden Grahams S’Mores Remix.
Do note, that for fans of my full-length reviews, I’ll be posting more soon once a) I clear up my review backlog and b) my wild whirlwind life passes this hectic phase. Keep it crunchy, folks!
BITE-SIZED REVIEW: Chocolate Honeycomb Big Bites have no reason to be pouched. There's like 3 bowls' worth in this, the pieces are barely bigger than normal HC, plus they're only alright. Mid-grade cocoa powder flavor that beats Cosmic Brownie Cereal, but not Chocolate Eggo. pic.twitter.com/IrjxrS7oei
— Cerealously 🥛🥣 (@cerealouslynet) April 2, 2021
BITE-SIZED REVIEW: Choco-Caramel Cinnamon Toast Crunch is the most interesting of GM's 3 pouched Remixes. The cereal pieces are alright, but caramel corn MAKES this, with its buttery sweetness & golden milk-proof armor proving popcorn deserves a place in a real full-sized cereal. pic.twitter.com/JOkDktO9ED
— Cerealously 🥛🥣 (@cerealouslynet) April 2, 2021
