Tired of Count Chocula stealing the spotlight with his toothy grin, Franken Berry shoves the cloaked, cocoa narcissist aside.
“That’s the last straw,” he bellows. “It’s time for strawberries to run this show!”
I hope you’re getting berry excited for Halloween, because now that the wonderful month of October is finally in full swing (speaking of which: just look at all the glorious fake skeletons swinging in the breeze!), it’s time to crack open another box of General Mills’ monster cereals, which are back with a bloodthirsty milkthirsty vengeance for the 2015 season. Continue reading →
(Edit 10/17: I was wrong! The bars have finally made their way to U.S. shelves, just without orange chocolate. You can read my review by clicking here!)
See those little undead hands making the “👌” emoji?
Well that was the first thing I did upon seeing this image from user Danse Macabre (thanks!). In my earlier review of Franken Berry and Boo Berry Fruit Roll-Ups, I noted how Count Chocula treats—which have been a mainstay on grocery store shelves for several Halloween seasons—seemed to be M.I.A. for 2015.
But fear not, monster cereal fans (or maybe do fear, because they are, you know, monsters), the snack sized cereal bars are alive! The treats combine chocolate cereal pieces, chocolate chips, and marshmallows with a sweet and gooey sugar binding agent to hold them together into a singular mass.
This just makes me think. If I were to bite the end of a Count Chocula Treat into a point, would I be able to pound it through a vampire’s heart like a stake? What an ironic death that would be.
Interestingly, the icing and milky bottom on these bars appears to be an eerie orange this time around, whereas previous editions simply had the Count’s signature brown.
However, there is a catch. At the moment, these bars might be a Canada exclusive! Danse Macabre spotted them at a local Ontario superstore, and other reports have seen them popping up all over the country. Will the Count’s bar-shaped cereal expansion packs reach the U.S. this season? I think it’s only a matter of time. After all, it’s like the wise Dwight Schrute once said:
“If a vampire-bat was in the U.S. It would make sense for it to come to a ‘sylvania.’ Like Pennsylvania.”
If you’d like to see your picture or thoughts featured on a “Spooned & Spotted” post, click yourself right on over to our submissions page, or just email us at cerealously.net@gmail.com.
First we had spoons that could merely scoop. Then came spoons that were also forks. Then spoons that doubled as straws. And now? Our spoons can take pictures!
I doubt that the first neanderthal who decided to use a Tyrannosaurus femur to dish out a bowl of primordial soup to his kids ever thought his invention would come this far. Continue reading →
As October is less than a week away, it’s prime time for Halloween junkies to start turning their humble offices, kitchens, living rooms, bathrooms, and heck, even doghouses into pumpkin-scented, fog spewing shrines celebrating all things orange, black, and blood red.
And for those who are unsure on where to start, then Count Chocula, Franken Berry, and Boo Berry have the perfect starter kit for you. See, while the common versions of those cereals produced for mass sale have futuristic augmented reality compatibility, the Target exclusive boxes spurn those pesky Millennials and their new-fangled “apps” in favor of something a bit more charmingly old school.
See, by combining the three boxes like a sugar-coated Triforce, you can build Count, Frank, and Boo’s sleek bachelor pad…err, I mean “spooky castle.” But I won’t waste more time with introductions.
Or perhaps it would be more appropriate to say, “my soul has been waiting for this moment for over 40 years.”
Since Fall has officially begun, I felt it was time to do something big to ring in the Halloween season. And by “ring,” I don’t mean “put 5 plastic spider rings on every finger and pretend to be the world’s lamest horror movie villain.” No, I’m going to eat a box of Frute Brute that I saved from 2013’s revival of the werewolf monster cereal that originally debuted in 1974. Continue reading →
I remember a simpler time. A time we call…elementary school.
Back in those days of yore, the lunchroom took upon its own savage ecosystem, with rivaling table kingdoms each simultaneously isolated in their rituals and customs but also warring and bartering with neighbors. Within each kingdom was a long-developed economy of trade, in which treats brought from home carried value that could only be priced in terms of other foods. And like a real economy, these values were ever-fluctuating.
But there was one processed snack that never deviated in its worthiness as edible currency: Fruit Roll-Ups.
While a plastic baggie of half-crumbled cookies may have been worth 3 pre-packaged fruit cups one day and nothing but stale graham crackers the next (after the crash of the unpredictable schoolyard stock market on Oreos, most likely), Fruit Roll-Ups were the gold standard. They never failed to attract the attention of brown paper bag-toting snack brokers everywhere.
That’s why this week we want to share with you the latest two installments in Gabe Fonseca’s serial cereal series (try saying that 5 times fast with a mouth full of Reese’s Puffs). If you’re new to the series, prepare to have your senses inundated with nostalgia, cartoon commercials, and oddly specific memories of stealing your sister’s Powerpuff Girls Game Boy game just to play it in secret.
What’s over 30 inches tall, purple, and watches you eat breakfast?
If you said “that creepy guy in the Grimace costume that crashed on my couch after the McDonald’s Halloween party,” you’d probably be right. But that’s not quite the answer we were looking for today.
Perhaps a better question is:
How many times have you dropped your phone in a bowl of milk after trying to take a selfie with your cereal? It’s okay, you can admit it. Multitasking is hard. And so is cleaning 2% out of your iPhone speakers.
Luckily, the 21st century visionaries at Cinnamon Toast Crunch have a solution. It’s called the Selfie Spoon, and via remote, you can now eat and tweet a picture of you with a mouthful of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, all at the same time!
Visit selfiespoon.com if you want to order your own: the spoon itself is free and the buyer only pays shipping. We here at Cerealously already have ours ordered, so expect some Snap, Crackle, Pop snapshots worthy of Golden Graham Instagram any day now.
I guess now we can be thankful that Wendell disappeared from boxes of Cinnamon Toast Crunch: can you imagine trying to explain to that old guy what a selfie is?
