(Update: My annual Count Chocula review is here, and so are Franken Berry’s and Boo Berry’s!)

Forget about all those Clintons, Bernies, and floppy hair-dos: the real election you should care about involves the Count, Boo, and Frank. You’ll never hear the phrase “lesser of two evils” in this election, because every candidate is equally lovable and sweet.

Which is ironic, because all three are monsters.

That’s right: Count Chocula, Franken Berry, and Boo Berry Monster Cereals are coming back to shelves for Fall 2016, starting in late August. But this time they’re not just here to spook and entertain. They vant your vote. Even though it’s only August 1st, General Mills is making the sweaty dog days of summer howl like werewolves with their debut of MonstersVote2016.com: the online headquarters for the Monsters Cereal Election. Here you can vote, take alignment polls, read monster bios, download posters, and see a live map of nationwide vote distribution.

This is exciting enough to make me taste ghosts of Boo Berry in the back of my mouth (though that might be from my stockpile of 2015 boxes). Every four years, Halloween fans get sad when the American presidential race overshadows their favorite shadowy holiday. So props to General Mills for capitalizing on this capitalist ennui with a playful twist of Halloween spirit.

There’s a lot to talk about here, so allow me to take a deep breath and cancel that impulsive tattoo parlor appointment I made to get #FrankenBerry2016 inked on my forehead. Continue reading →