Tag Archives: general mills

Spooned & Spotted: Burger King Lucky Charms Shake

Burger King Lucky Charms Shake

In the war of cereals, The Burger King turns a blind eye.

The Burger King does not take sides.

The Burger King’s only sworn loyalty is to deliciousness.

See, after the meaty monarch released a delightful Froot Loops Shake just 2 months ago, I would have expected him to launch a whole line of Kellogg’s milkshakes and desserts, from fried Apple Jacks Pies to Frosted Mini-Whoppers. But no, the flame-grilled sovereign who blessed us with Mac & Cheetos has now welcomed General Mills into his fold of creamy, soft-serve folds.

The Lucky Charms Shake, spotted, bravely taste tested, and kindly submitted by reader John R., combines the King’s standard creamy ice cream and whipped cream topping with marshmallowy cereal syrup and a dusting of Lucky Charms. I don’t know what “marshmallowy cereal syrup” is, but I can only assume it was pumped straight from the Fountain of Youth.

I’ll toast my first Lucky Charms Shake to you, Ponce de León.

Despite how good this Shake sounds, John’s initial review is far from charmed. I know I’ll have to try it for myself to be sure, but I’ll be sure to have a box of Lucky Charms on hand in case I need emergency marshmallow reinforcements.

https://twitter.com/cerealouslynet/status/875138985655492614

Good thing this happened 😏.

Thanks again to John R. for the photos. If you have some cool cereal news of your own to share, send it over to our Submissions page. I’ll have plenty of time to answer it while waiting in my Burger King parking lot tent.

Review: Canadian Maple Cheerios Cereal

General Mills Special Edition Canadian Maple Cheerios Cereal Review Box

“Put maple in everything. Do it.”

Picture me saying that in my best Sheev Palpatine voice, because I really am serious about syrup. Maple is tied with gingerbread and second only to PB&J on my list of favorite sweet flavors, so while the news about General Mills’s new Maple Cheerios, released in Canada to celebrate the country’s 150th birthday, excited me, the syrup-sucking greedy child in me wanted more.

Maple Cookie Crisp. Waffles & Syrup Oreo O’s. Pancake-flavored Waffle Crisp—I don’t care how redundant that sounds, just prop my mouth open with a french toast stick and keep piling it in.

But I’m getting ahead of myself—and sweating what I believe to be a mix of perspiration and whipped butter just thinking about it. I should enjoy Maple Cheerios while I can, because you know what they say: you only turn 150 once! Continue reading

Review: Blueberry Chex Cereal

General Mills Gluten Free Blueberry Chex Cereal Review Box

Ready your best Oprah impression and say it with me: “You get a blueberry flavor! And you get a blueberry flavor! Everybody gets a blueberry flavor!

With the introduction of Very Berry Cheerios earlier this year, the recent rebranding of Blueberry Tiny Toast into Blueberry Toast Crunch, Cap’n Crunch’s Blueberry Pancake Crunch, the unexpected appearance of Kellogg’s Blueberry Lemon Special K, the inevitable return of Boo Berry in October, and now the dawn of gluten-free Blueberry Chex, it seems like 2017 is poised to be the year of the blue-but-mostly-indigo-but-pretty-much-purple-inside-berry.

That or General Mills just had a surplus harvest of pulverized blueberry flavor dust. In that case, I expect to see Chocolate Fondue Berry Cocoa Puffs and Reese’s Peanut Butter & Blueberry Jelly Puffs any day now.

But until such a gastronomical triumph is achieved, let’s content ourselves with these Smurf-kissed corn squares. Continue reading

A Tiny Toast Eulogy in 10 Tweets

Tiny Toast Cereal

It turns out reports of Tiny Toast’s death have not been greatly exaggerated. The brand of crunchy, strawberry and blueberry-flavored mini-loaves has been officially absorbed into the Toast Crunch family of cereals, as General Mills and many suddenly cereal-happy media outlets (after the Oreo O’s news, no one’s sleeping on everyone’s favorite wake-up foodstuff anymore) are now reporting.

I took to Twitter this morning to succinctly share my thoughts on this change, and I thought I’d reproduce my retrospection here, since copying and pasting tweets is the only way to keep me from writing 1,000+ more unnecessarily sappy words about pygmy bread pieces. Continue reading

Review: Apple Cinnamon Toast Crunch Cereal

General Mills Apple Cinnamon Toast Crunch Cereal Review Box

I, for one, welcome our loaf overlords.

With French Toast Crunch’s continued triumph of nostalgia, Tiny Toast’s recent rebrand into Strawberry Toast Crunch and Blueberry Toast Crunch, and now Apple Cinnamon Toast Crunch’s debut, one thing has become clear: bread-shaped cereal is here to stay. Though I’m slightly conflicted about what this means for the Toast Crunch family of cereals. On one hand, I worry that we’ll never get another variety with flavor-swirled squares, but the other hand is too busy scooping up fistfuls of Apple Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal because all these small slices are so darn cute that I’d rather formally adopt them as children than eat them.

I’ve already got names picked out: Crusty, Carbo, Butt Slice—the list goes on.

But any way you slice it (or square it), I’m just happy we’re getting new Toast Crunch varieties, because that brings us ever closer to getting my childhood white whale: PB&J Toast Crunch. Now enough nuttiness: let’s slice open these wee slices and hope they taste like apple pie slices. Continue reading

Spooned & Spotted: Cocoa Puffs Ice Cream Scoops Cereal

Neapolitan Cocoa Puffs Ice Cream Scoops: Strawberry, Vanilla, Chocolate

(Update: We reviewed Cocoa Puffs Ice Cream Scoops!)

Drink it in, folks: Cocoa Puffs Ice Cream Scoops, the first (American*) neapolitan cereal, is here.

Err, perhaps “drink it in” isn’t fitting enough. “Lick it in”? “Cone it in”? “Do everything but bite it in because you have sensitive teeth and a chronically frozen brain”?

It doesn’t matter. What matters is that we can finally taste strawberry, vanilla, and chocolate all in the same cereal bowl without Frankenstein-ing some weird mix of Tiny Toast, Life, and crumbled-up Halloween Pop-Tarts (I know there are many chocolate cereals, but if you’re going to be a mad breakfast scientist, you might as well go borderline bonkers).

Spotted at Jewel-Osco and graciously shared by fellow snack scholar The Junk Food Aisle, Ice Cream Scoops Cocoa Puffs appropriately combine corn puffs bearing the three fruity, beany, and fudgy flavors of neapolitan ice cream. Vanilla and chocolate have crossed paths beneath Sonny’s bill before, but strawberry is a welcome newcomer. It’s so welcome that it makes me forget that last year’s greatest ice cream cereal (and simply greatest cereal), Cap’n Crunch’s Orange Creampop Crunch, has passed on to the great cosmic creamsicle in the sky.

Here’s hoping that if these Cocoa Puffs Ice Cream Scoops work out, we’ll get different frozen novelty flavors in the future. Superman Puffs, anyone?

Thanks again to Junk Food Aisle for sharing the scoop—literally. Got a freshly spotted flavor of your own to dish out? Spoon it over to cerealously.net@gmail.com for a chance to see it on the site.

*There has been a neapolitan cereal before…in New Zealand! As usual, Cereal Time time traveller Gabe Fonseca knows all about it.

Spooned & Spotted: Blueberry Toast Crunch & Strawberry Toast Crunch Cereals

Blueberry Toast Crunch & Strawberry Toast Crunch Cereals

Is Tiny Toast…toast? At first glance, that’s what the “debut” of “new” “Strawberry Toast Crunch” and “Blueberry Toast Crunch” would seem to “indicate.”

Whoops, I don’t think I needed those last snarky quotation marks.

Reader Sydney N. kindly sent us the above snapshot from Walmart, which shows the adorably fruit-speckled bread slices we’ve known as Tiny Toast for nearly a year now re-branded under the Toast Crunch family of cereals. Led by the patriarchal Cinnamon Toast Crunch, this crunchy clan also consists of wild child Chocolate Toast Crunch, Canadian uncle French Toast Crunch, deadbeat son who only comes back to mooch on Christmas Cinnamon Star Crunch, (and his long-lost twin brother Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch), as well as a plethora of dead ancestors, from Peanut Butter Toast Crunch to Frosted Toast Crunch, who the family nonchalantly buried in the backyard after they failed to live up to Daddy’s legacy.

♫ Our house, is a very very very morbid house. ♫

Tiny Toast’s relationship to the Toast Crunch kinfolk has always been dubious: the cereals look so much like French Toast Crunch that we never knew if they were related, or if Tiny Toast was just French’s obsessive best friend who weirdly emulates his hero. But now that it’s been established in cereal canon that TT is FTC’s cousin who moved south to warmer, berry-friendly weather and changed his name, I can rest easy at night—and start editing my fan fictions.

That was all a very long-winded segue into my main point about Strawberry and Blueberry Toast Crunches: that it may not mean Tiny Toast’s demise at all. The fresh-faced pair has only been seen at Walmart so far, so it could be a store-exclusive rebrand demo, like Post did with Waffle Crisp and Good Morenings Waffle Crunch. I refuse to make a definite coroner’s call on Tiny Toast until General Mills itself gives the sweet slices a eulogy.

Which is perfectly fine with me, because like my great-granny definitely might have said, “you can have too many cooks in the kitchen, but you can never have too many cute crunchy loaves in the cereal aisle.”

Thanks again for the photo, Sydney! If you’ve got a cool cereal photo of your own to share, spoon it over to cerealously.net@gmail.com for a chance to see it on the site.

Review: Cinnamon Toast Crunch Oatmeal (Canada)

General Mills Canada: Cinnamon Toast Crunch Instant Oatmeal Box Review

Can you see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch Instant Oatmeal—or as some call it in Canada: “Croque Cannele Gruau Instantané?” 

Of course: it’s got cinnamon sugar amorphous globs in every bite! It’s the taste you can see…still sticking to your ceiling three weeks later if you fling it hard enough.

Wait, wait—that’s the oatmeal’s old slogan. The new one is much better: crave those crazy hot oat lumps!

Fine, I give up. There’s no real appetizing catchphrase for Canada’s second new cereal-oatmeal hybrid. And even if there was, a burnt sienna bowl of microwaved roses by any other name would taste just as sweet. Or in the case of Cinnamon Toast Crunch Oatmeal, just as bland and disappointing. I know I usually leave my opinion out of each review’s introduction, but I couldn’t resist spoiling my spoiled breakfast from the get-go. This oatmeal has a host of toasty problems, so let’s work backwards and try sourcing its flaws like a paleontologist doing CSI on a pile of raptor skeletons. Continue reading