Tag Archives: general mills

Review: Peanut Butter Chex Cereal

Ever play Mario Kart? From Toadette to Bowser and every Birdo in between, the characters have three broad weight classes: light, medium, and heavy. Modern Chex cereals follow a very similar model, with each choosing to use a rice, corn, or wheat base, respectively.

Now I’m not saying that Donkey Kong would ever trade bananas for Wheat Chex, nor that there should to be a Chex Quest Kart in which Fred Chexter and various Flemoids do sick drifts through the Caverns of Bazoik—but it is very important that the respective density of each Chex variety complements the flavor glazed upon it.

For example, Blueberry Chex‘s rice base makes for great high-velocity munching, but the vaporous nature of the grain doesn’t ideally suit the equal subtleties of blueberry flavoring. That’s why when Peanut Butter Chex was announced with a Corn Chex base, I was excited to get my cob-nobbing mitts on a box. General Mills was kind enough to send me one, so it’s time to butter up and eat these babies rotary style.

(Those heathens who prefer to eat corn on the cob “typewriter” style are free to try and change my mind in the comments.) Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 9 rating, chex, general mills, peanut butter. 3 Comments

Jun. ’19

Review: Drumstick Cereal (Two Flavors!)

Serious question: at what point does a ‘new’ cereal just become breakfast trail mix?

Not trying to knock General Mills before trying their newest cereal, of course, but the latest and second-laziest trend of new cereal ideation (behind crude ‘mallowfication, of course) seems to be creating Greatest Hits collections of other cereals so it can be called something distinctly new. Post has done it, and Kellogg’s does it every day at their cereal café.

Whether it’s collaging or crate-digging, sampling is surely a treasured technique of assemblage. But would people rather have a pastiche of cereals past, or an actual Trail Mix Cereal with roasted peanut flakes, nutty raisins (a la Raisin Nut Bran), and chocolate morsels?

(Sorry for the specificity; I’ve been contemplating pouring milk in my 10-pound bag of Sweet & Salty Mix all week.)

For better or worse, General Mills’ new pair of Drumstick Cereals tweak the past to create an ice cream of the future (no, not that one). Launching in both Classic Vanilla and Mint Chocolate, each pairs Golden Grahams and Cocoa Puffs with newly flavored disk pieces familiar from Cookie Crisp. Turns out I had mixed feelings. To pre-conclude, as much as the back of the box tries to bamboozle us with fancy new piece names, I can’t help but wish this cereal was a cerealverse crossover instead of something Drumstick branded.

Can’t you picture Sonny the Cuckoo and Chip the Wolf surfing on Golden Graham pieces across a honeyed sea? Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 4 rating, 7 rating, chocolate, general mills, mint. 9 Comments

May. ’19

Review: Fillows Cereal (Hershey’s Cookies ‘n’ Creme and Pillsbury Cinnamon Roll!)

What would it take to end the Krave Civil War?

You know, the ceaseless, caustic conflict between those who love those graham-wrapped little choco-chrysalises (hi, it’s me) and those who think they taste like dog food (*ahem*). Such division doesn’t belong in the breakfast aisle, a demilitarized zone for those seeking unanimously sweet solidarity and shared cereal ceasefires. But what are we to do?

Should we pan-fry pieces of Krave to make them more palatable?
Barrel-age our Krave in Bailey’s to make it more…utilitarian?
Or must we Kravers acquiesce and bury all our polarizing cereal right next to the hatchet?

The answer’s far simpler: build a better filled pillow cereal. Which is just what General Mills has done with their aptly named Fillows line of cereals. These little cereal nuggets are filled with crème (though some sites have called it icing), and are currently only available at Walmart in family-sized boxes. But even though each box weighs over a pound—and features foil, rather than plastic, bags to properly secure their shimmering density—I don’t think you’ll need a family to finish it.

Just be ready to carry a food baby when you’re finished.

Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 9 rating, cinnamon, cookies and cream, general mills. 10 Comments

May. ’19

Review: Lucky Charms Marshmallow Blondies – Soft Baked Treats

Forty is a large number. There’s a reason it’s a common Biblical increment of days, as well as the highest number ever counted to on Sesame Street: achieving forty of something is a Big feat—whether it’s Bird or Man in the Sky.

Which is why it’s both a blessing and curse that Lucky Charms’ newest sort-of-cereal-bar is only currently available in boxes (would crates be a better word? caches? sarcophagi?) of forty. As a hardline cereal journalist, of course I had a cinderblock’s worth of these redressed Fiber One brownies shipped to my house, and now it sits as a fixed centerpiece on my coffee table (for at least the next forty days and forty nights), patiently awaiting hungry houseguests—or at least mischievous house cats who love tipping over boxes.

These Marshmallow Blondies are simple beige squares, with a splattered smattering of half-baked marshmallows and an abstract cascade of icing. Certainly much different than the ‘pressed cereal log’ approach of most cereal bars, but is it worth the XL investment? As a natural blondie, I feel qualified to tell you. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 7 rating, cereal bars, general mills, lucky charms. Leave a comment

May. ’19

Spooned & Spotted: General Mills Drumstick Cereals!

I’m noticing a pattern…

Now that we’ve apparently breached New Cereal Mania Jr., the summer son of January’s non-stop oated onslaught, General Mills is revealing its coincidental—or perhaps copycat—strategy of forging creative cereal–non-cereal brand partnerships.

Just yesterday, we learned of two new Fillows flavors, Hershey’s Cookies ‘n’ Creme and Pillsbury Cinnamon Roll: conspicuous analogues for Post’s Oreo O’s and Hostess Honey Bun cereals. Now with the arrival of two new Drumstick cereals, the comparison to Malt-O-Meal (aka Post again)’s Cold Stone Creamery cereals seems inevitable.

Granted, General Mills already brought licensed frosty flavor recently with two Dippin’ Dots cereals, but those were so awful and ice scream-inducing that history will remember them as the “ice cream cereal of the future” from some darkest timeline that tragically intersected our own.

Here’s hoping GM has started from scoop one on both Classic Vanilla and Mint Chocolate Drumstick cereals. Spotted by @coachlongest at Walmart, these diversely textured menageries boast Golden Graham-esque cone pieces (a waffling step down from their old Ice Cream Cones cereal’s authentic geometry), chocolate puffs, and rounded discs that you may remember from Thin Mints Cereal.

The jury’s still out on whether my local ice cream shoppe will let me buy a bulk pack of dipped waffle cone bowls to review these (especially after I demanded to see the Ice Cream Machine from Neopets), but for now, I’ll be sure to microwave a few Drumsticks to use as milk.

Our thanks again to Coach Longest for sharing the photo. If you have any hot or cold scoops of your own to share, truck ’em on over to our Submissions page.

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Specials. Tags: general mills, spooned & spotted. 2 Comments

May. ’19

News: Fillows Cereal is Launching in Pillsbury Cinnamon Roll & Hershey’s Cookies ‘n’ Creme!

Ever have one of those dreams where the Pillsbury Doughboy offers you a bite of his arm, and you wake up molar-deep in memory foam?

Uh, yeah, me neither.

But if you have ever wanted to sink your teeth in a pillow first thing every morning, General Mills has two new cereals to tickle your down-feathered fancy.

They’re called Fillows, and they’re launching this Monday at select Walmart stores, before hitting other grocery chains this fall. Coming in both Hershey’s Cookies ‘n’ Creme and Pillsbury Cinnamon Roll, Fillows are likely a bold effort by General Mills to counter their rivals’ tasty cereal partnerships—though Cookies ‘n’Creme has actually existed in regional markets for some time now.

Fillows claim to be “the only cereal to deliver a crunchy shell with a burst of creme filling in every bite.” Which isn’t really true, especially since Fillows are already a direct dig at Krave—I hear they even meant to call ’em Krillows, but it would’ve ruined their idea for a crunchy crustacean cereal.

Comparisons aside, I’m very excited to try both icing-packed flavors and immediately fill my own pillow with my face.

Posted by dan g.. Categories: News. Tags: cinnamon, cookies and cream, general mills, news. 9 Comments

May. ’19

News: Lucky Charms Soft-Baked Treats Marshmallow Blondies

If there’s any tangential breakfast product spin-off that needed another Darwinian evolution, it’s the cereal bar.

Following the halcyon days of the Milk ‘n’ Cereal Bar (which you can still buy at places like…Staples?), most modern cereal bars are basically just airy candy/granola bar hybrids. Which isn’t a bad thing—it’s still the only way to experience a different flavor of Golden Graham—but I’m generally in the mood to choose one of those two extremes, or split the difference with a Clif Bar so I can at least feel like I’m scaling a daunting crag whilst lying perfectly horizontal.

But the cereal bar’s next munchable mutation is far more exciting. General Mills—pretty much the only cereal company still making bars of mainline cereals—has launched new Marshmallow Blondie Lucky Charms Soft-Baked Treats, which have already been spotted at BJ’s, Walmart, and Sam’s Club.

Though I’m no-doubt excited about these sugar-drizzled blondies—their fossilized layers of marshmallows remind me of the swirling sugar stew that was Lucky Charms Oatmeal—they do look a lot like General Mills’ Fiber One Bars. So will these magically delicious blondies also be digestively rigorous? That remains to be seen. But whether or not Lucky will be keeping my intestines plucky, I’m all for buying a value-pack of these bricks and mortaring ’em up with ice cream ’til they hit the ceiling.

Posted by dan g.. Categories: News. Tags: cereal bars, general mills, lucky charms, marshmallow. Leave a comment

Apr. ’19

News: Cinnamon Toast Crunch Swirls Paths with Kith

If wearing the milky dregs of a breakfast’s worth of Cinnamon Toast Crunch as a mustache isn’t enough of a cereal fashion statement to you, you’re in luck.

Launching today in Kith flagship stores and tomorrow in Tokyo locations, Cinnamon Toast Kith is the latest in a long line of licensed partnerships for the streetwear brand. Heck, in 2016 Cap’n Crunch did the same thing.

There are plenty of apparel and accessories in the line, but what really drew my interest was more edible than a purple bathrobe:

Cinnamon Toast Kith itself. A custom-branded box bears a not-so-groundbreaking medley of Chocolate nd Cinnamon Toast Crunch squares, plus CTC Churros to boot. While I would have been probably drawn to shell out for one if CTK tasted like molasses-slathered wallet lining, I’d imagine this unique pairing ot chocolate and cinnamon + noodly and normal textures still forms an interesting mouth climate.

You can learn more about Cinnamon Toast Kith (I’ve almost written Kix, a delicious Freudian slip, several times) here. And if you have a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Kith, or the ice cream x cereal treats they’re serving in store, tweet us a pic at @cerealouslynet.

Posted by dan g.. Categories: News. Tags: cinnamon toast crunch, general mills. Leave a comment