Tag Archives: frosted flakes

24

Aug. ’18

Review: Kellogg’s Pumpkin Spice Frosted Flakes

Pumpkin Spice Frosted Flakes Cereal Review Box

What does late-stage pumpkin mania look like?

Yeah, yeah: I’m not suggesting that this country’s obsession with autumnal seasoning is going to be squashed out any time soon—I’ve made that mistake for about three consecutive years now. But I am saying that we are approaching an absurdity threshold, where even illogical products are being consecrated by this harvested incense.

And the breakfast aisle is no exception. On the surface, Frosted Flakes is a cereal dominated by tame flavors like chocolate and cinnamon—other cereals like this include Golden Grahams and Corn Pops—but it’s trying out this whole pumpkin spice thing with the timeliness of my grandpa doing the Harlem Shake. Plus on the back is a decked-out Halloween music festival called “Tony’s Pumpkin Up the Jams Fest.” Which is honestly a pretty unforgivable pun…

…that I wish I had thought of first.

Taking hipness out of the equation, I must still evaluate Pumpkin Spice Frosted Flakes with the unbiasedly refined palate of a cereal journalist. Or of Einstein’s dog, I guess. Continue reading →

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19

Oct. ’17

Review: Chocolate Frosted Flakes Cereal from Kellogg’s (2017)

Kellogg's 2017 New Chocolate Frosted Flakes Cereal Review Box

Like a coffee snob who thinks cream ruins roasted perfection or a hipster doughnut shop that only sells original and glazed, Tony the Tiger is an artisan.

While other cereal brands let their wacky flavor flags fly with any number of peanut buttery, gingerbready, or orange ice creamy variants, Anthony the Large Jungle Cat keeps it pretty minimalistic, preferring to perfect each flavor he introduces rather than rushing to meet some pumpkin spiced fad. After all, it took him 64 years to introduce a Cinnamon kind. And now, after the length of about 6–8 of Tony’s 9 feline lives, we finally get Chocolate Frosted Flakes.

What’s that you say, with your raised pitchfork pilfered from the clearance section of a Spirit Halloween? Chocolate Frosted Flakes already existed 20 years ago? Well those were Cocoa Frosted Flakes, not true-blue (or brown?) chocolate.

Oh, but you also say, holding a rudimentary torch made from back issues of the National Enquirer, “There are already two different kinds of Chocolate Frosted Flakes in my grocery store right now”? Well there are Frosted Flakes Choco Zucaritas made for Latin American markets, and Chocolate Frosted Flakes with Skeleton Marshmallows, made for Halloween, which are…uh…from a seasonal spin-off and therefore aren’t canon.

Phew. Through arbitrary technicalities, I’ve confirmed that 2017 Chocolate Frosted Flakes are the first of their kind. After all, Kellogg’s has made a big fuss about these ones are made differently. Like their much-hyped cinnamon-infusing process from 2016, the chocolatey frosting on these flakes is proprietarily designed to meet American tastes for milk chocolate, as opposed to Choco Zucaritas, which are supposed to be more dark chocolatey.

Maybe this is all choco hokum, but that’s not going to stop this American from indulging his sweet tooth. After Tony himself sent me this elaborate care package to try the stuff, I’d be remiss not to use his big metallic head to scoop shards of well-browned gold into my mouth like an emperor of the Nile. Continue reading →

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06

Oct. ’17

Review: Steak ‘n Shake Breakfast Cereal Shakes (Cocoa Krispies & Frosted Flakes)

Steak 'n Shake Milkshake Sign

As I patiently wait for my local Burger King to stock their new Cinnamon Toast Crunch Shake—hurry up, Mr. Beef Royalty: it’s cold waiting out in this tent made of Whopper wrappers—I figured I’d finish my review series of Steak ‘n Shake’s menagerie of breakfast cereal-infused arctic beverages.

When we last left our humble, shake-sucking heroes, they had polished off Cinnamon Crunch and Honey Smacks Shakes at an ungodly hour under the gaze of Sauron-tinted neon lights and nearby angst-tinged teenagers. I recommend you read Part 1, if you haven’t already, because I don’t want to re-tread too much old ground in this post—after all, my stomach still hurts from the whole “mildly lactose intolerant” thing.

The things I do for breakfast journalism.

In short, though, the shakes were good, but BK’s shakes were superior in every way, on account of them actually mixing in syrupy cereal magic syrup instead of just plopping cereal pieces on top. This could’ve put the kibosh on my pasteurized odyssey, but the Steak ‘n Shake waiter said Cocoa Krispies and Frosted Flakes were by far the most popular flavors. Tempted by this forbidden fruit (“Frosted” is a fruit, right?), I set off with my shake-craving sidekick once more to put that waiter’s money where my dairy-sensitive gastrointestinal system is.

Continue reading →

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24

Aug. ’17

News: Steak ‘n Shake is Debuting Cereal-Flavored Breakfast Shakes!

Steak 'n Shake Breakfast Shakes – Cereal Milkshakes with Frosted Flakes, Cocoa Krispies, Honey Smacks

If you believe the clickbait headlines, “millennials are killing breakfast cereal,” whether it’s because they’re too lazy to wash bowls or because they prefer the portable taste of Electrolyte-Fortified Kale Rectangles to sugary cinnamon squares  in the morning.

But even if millennials are killing breakfast cereal, then it seems like more of a noble sacrifice for a greater good than a murder, because we seem to have entered a golden age of cereal milkshakes.

First, Burger King gave us two delectable cereal shakes infused with chunks of Froot Loops and Lucky Charms, respectively.

And now Steak & Shake, an honorable eatery that knows milkshakes well enough to build 33.33% of its business on them (though I prefer their flame-grilled ampersands), is adding 5* specialty breakfast shakes to their portfolio of plasmatic lactose beverages.

*I qualify this 5, because though coffee is an essential part of any balanced breakfast, Steak ‘n Shake’s Caramel Frappé seems laughably out of place here. They might as well have added a Scrambled Egg Shake at this point

We get three recognizable Kellogg’s in shake form: Frosted Flakes, Honey Smacks, and Cocoa Krispies, as well as an über generic Cinnamon Crunch Shake. This makes sense, since Kellogg’s seems to have exclusive milkshake rights here, and they don’t have a pure cinnamon cereal to bring the table—at least not without making Tony do double duty, negotiating a complicated Cinnabon cross-promo, or making a hilariously ironic Special K Shake.

I don’t know which flavor I’m most excited to try first—probably the sheer uniqueness of a Honey Smacks Shake that I can Dig ‘Em into—but I do know one thing: I hope they’re served all day long. Because if I’m going to be forced to eat 1200 some calories before 9am, I’d rather eat a couple peanut butter & strawberry Pop-Tart sandwiches.

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27

Dec. ’16

Cerealously Visits the Kellogg’s Archives!

Kellogg's Timeline Wall

Ever heard the phrase “like a kid in a candy store?” Well you should see a cereal and Pop-Tart blogger in Kellogg’s headquarters.

Earlier this month, I was generously invited to tour Kellogg’s command center in Battle Creek, Michigan. And from the minute I stepped into their twinkling castle of brick and glass, I had to resist every urge to swoon head over heels like a ’50s sitcom romantic.

With a colorful Kellogg’s timeline on the wall, a dedicated Eggo Waffle showcase, a 24-hour cereal bar in full view, and an overhead Snap, Crackle, and Pop banner so large it’d put Citizen Kane to shame, this place was pretty much a cereal Xanadu.

But that was just the beginning: as the kind brand marketer and PR representative who led my tour quickly assured me, I would soon be traveling through Kellogg’s past, as well as its present. Continue reading →

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28

Nov. ’16

Review: Kellogg’s Cinnamon Frosted Flakes Cereal

Kellogg's Cinnamon Frosted Flakes Cereal Review Box Design

The box says “Family Size,” Dan, I tell myself. That means you shouldn’t eat all the Cinnamon Frosted Flakes by yourself.

But wait! the darker side of me says. Olive Garden says “when you’re here, you’re family,” so as long as I eat this whole box in an Olive Garden parking lot, there won’t be a problem!

So that, officer, is why I’m squatting behind this pasta-filled dumpster with a bowl full of crunchy, auburn-colored flakes. Would you care for a spoonful? You can be my court-appointed family. Continue reading →

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03

Nov. ’16

News: Cinnamon Frosted Flakes Coming in 2017!

Kellogg's Cinnamon Frosted Flakes Cereal Box

(Image via Kellogg’s and FoodBusinessNews)

(Update: Cinnamon Frosted Flakes are in limited early release in Walmart, Meijer, and potentially other stores. We reviewed them here!)

Cinnamon Toast Crunch may be good, but can it see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Frosted Flakes?

No? Well I can’t see it either, because the only known photo of Kellogg’s upcoming Cinnamon Frosted Flakes—set to debut in 2017—is more pixellated than a game of Super Mario Bros. played on a Walmart security camera.

The picture’s blurriness made think it had marshmallows in it at first, but upon closer inspection, they are just incredibly aggressive splashes of milk. But I can’t blame the milk: wouldn’t you get a little jumpy too if a kaiju-sized Tony the Tiger was staring you down with the deranged hunger of Godzilla on Thanksgiving Day?

After Candy Hunting found yesterday’s Dunkin Donuts Vanilla Latte and Chocolate Mocha Pop-Tarts, I followed her investigative lead to an apparent Kellogg’s press release preview. It details a number of 2017 Kellogg’s products, including Cinnamon Frosted Flakes, Kashi Chewy Nut Butter Bars, and Eggo Waffles without artificial ingredients.

After Eggo’s recent Stranger Things smash success, Kellogg’s should brand this new natural product as “Made without Strange Things.”

Special K Nourish Granola with Quinoa

(Image via Kellogg’s and FoodBusinessNews)

Oh, and there’s a new Special K Nourish Granola with Quinoa coming in 2017, too.In my opinion, this granola doesn’t have nearly enough terrifying, King Kong-esque felines on its packaging.

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10

Sep. ’16

Review: Kellogg’s Limited Edition Chocolate Frosted Flakes with Skeleton Marshmallows

Halloween Chocolate Frosted Flakes with Skeleton Marshmallows Box

The world would be a much happier place if there were skeleton-shaped things in every food.

Spaghetti with skeleton meatballs. Pistachios with skull-shaped nuts inside every shell. Or here’s a really crazy one: chicken wings with actual bones in the middle!

Wait: one of those things is not quite like the others. But it doesn’t matter, because the point is that Kellogg’s newest Halloween cereal is Chocolate Frosted Flakes with Skeleton Marshmallows. It’s the logical next step up from this summer’s Frosted Flakes with Marshmallows, because when you’ve already paired a sugar-coated cereal with concentrated bits of sugar, the only way to make it sweeter for the sweetest season of the year is to add another glaze of corn syrupy malted cocoa.

At this rate, Kellogg’s will be selling Frosted Flakes with complimentary maple syrup bottles and sugar beet seeds in every box by the time Christmas comes around. Continue reading →

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