Tag Archives: froot loops

News: Wild Berry Froot Loops, Banana Raisin Bran, & Vanilla Latte Mini-Wheats!

https://www.instagram.com/p/BiDj6SInltB/?taken-by=markie_devo

If you need a minute to process the title you just read, feel free to step outside, have a deep breath/smoke/Tums, or maybe just scream “It’s my money, and I need to spend it on cereal now!”

Yes, it’s not often we get an unexpected cereal bomb like the one Kellogg’s just dropped. Rumors about Wild Berry Froot Loops, Banana Raisin Bran, and Vanilla Latte Mini-Wheats have been swirling around the internet recently, but now that we have photo confirmation from markie_devo on Instagram, we’re free to let our country divide itself into a three-party system about which flavor will be best. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: News. Tags: froot loops, kelloggs, mini-wheats, raisin bran. 1 Comment

Apr. ’18

Review: Steak ‘n Shake Froot Loops Milkshake

Toucan Sam himself always told kids to “follow your nose!” And I’m glad he did, because I’ve got a good nose for B.S. (Bumbling Shenanigans).

What do I mean by this? Oh, just the last 5/11 of Steak ‘n Shake’s name. For a place that prides itself on its arctic milk products, presumably made by milking polar bears, a lot of Steak ‘n Shake’s milkshakes seem a little lazy—almost as lazy as putting only one apostrophe on a truncated conjunction that deserves two.

But that’s none of my fast food business, I say while sipping a milkshake like it’s hot tea.

The shakes, on the other hand, are my bloggerly business, and time and time again, I’ve been disappointed by S&S shakes that don’t make the most of their ingredients, instead seemingly dusting chunks of M&M’s, Kit Kats, Cocoa Krispies, or otherwise, when the more logical thing to use would be a flavored ice cream base.

This is why I’m remaining tentatively skeptical of the chain’s new Froot Loops Shake: joining a quintet of other breakfast flavors, this dairy concoction is far from daring. Not only has it been done before, but this Froot Loops Shake has huge talons to fill, as last year’s Burger King Froot Loops Shake was a fantastic tropical elixir infused with magical cereal syrup.

I don’t expect Steak ‘n Shake to use fancy strawberry ice cream or anything, but are a few pumps of mysterious fruit goo too much to ask? Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 5 rating, froot loops, kelloggs. Leave a comment

Jul. ’17

Spooned & Spotted (Germany): Unicorn Froot Loops Cereal

The unicorn virus…it’s spreading.

When the cotton candied Pepto-Bismol known as the Starbucks Unicorn Frappuccino hit the U.S. earlier this year, kicking off a pink food pandemic that would infect everything from cupcakes to bagels, I thought it would be a purely American phenomenon. After all, it speaks to two of our country’s biggest passions: cryptozoology and colorful sugar.

(I’m still waiting for the Loch Ness Monster Frappuccino. Our underwater ally deserves to be submerged in whipped cream!)

But no, as Kellogg Germany’s new Unicorn Froot Loops prove, the eponymous horned horse has the ability to migrate across seas—despite lacking wings or gills. Maybe it bummed a ride off a pegasus. This limited edition cereal is, predictably, causing a buzz across the internet (and more than just the sugar rush kind), but I wanted to know how it actually tastes. So I sought out the help of the only cereal-loving German I know: Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Specials. Tags: froot loops, kelloggs, spooned & spotted. 8 Comments

Jun. ’17

Review: Canadian Birthday Cake Froot Loops

Oh, hey there Canada. No, no, I totally didn’t forget your 150th birthday. See, I made you this cake!

What’s that? There’s a price tag on the container? Okay, you got me, I just bought a plain grocery store cake and frosted the words “HAPPY BIRTHDAY CANADA” on it myself.

Hmm? You say the cake says “HAVE A BROADWAY CAN OF DUFF”? Dang it, I can’t trust those old ladies at the bakery to hear anything right.

Well at least I didn’t do what Kellogg’s did. They just cobbled together a hodge-podge of Canada-colored flavors into a new Limited Edition Froot Loops flavor and called it “Birthday Cake.” What do I mean by that? Well allow me to tell you more, Canada—all 35.85 million of you. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 7 rating, canada, froot loops, kelloggs. 5 Comments

Apr. ’17

Review: Burger King Froot Loops Shake

“I love this thing. I actually just had Froot Loops at 3a.m. last night—cereal really is great at any time of the day.”

You know a milkshake is gonna be good when you order it and the Burger King cashier feels inspired to gush over cereal. It was this serendipitous cereal fanboyism that made me certain BK’s new Froot Loops Shake would be true to its namesake breakfast classic before I even tried it.

When I first heard about this cereal milkshake, I was instantly excited. It sounded like the ol’ creepily masked monarch who gave humanity the Whopper had really outdone himself this time by mixing vanilla soft serve, Froot Loops cereal bits, a tantalizingly ambiguous “sweet sauce,” and whipped topping. But would the actual thing live up? I emerged from my tent outside a local Burger King bleary-eyed and thirsty for gooey, iridescently sugar-chunked dairy.

(Okay, I didn’t actually camp out waiting, but my brain hasn’t thought about anything else for this past week except Froot Loops Shakes and the occasional Reese’s Egg.) Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, froot loops, kelloggs, non cereal. 5 Comments

Apr. ’17

News: Burger King’s Froot Loop Milkshake is Coming Soon!

Okay fine, Toucan Sam. You got me. This really does Froot my Loops.

Everyone’s favorite nose-following mascot has been pushing his new “Whatever Froots Your Loops” slogan across social media, in everything from tweets to SnapChat filters. Ol’ Toucan Samuel has even been using it in a much-advertised Froot Loops Milkshake recipe video that I’ve seen on Instagram more times than that milkshake has calories.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BP5SvUojuVF/?taken-by=frootloops

That slogan must not have inspired much milkshake motivation, because now Burger King is cutting out the middle man and making a real Froot Loops Shake for us. The moral of the story? If you don’t want to make your own dessert, just be lazy for long enough and a plastic-masked monarch will lovingly pour it right into your lap.

The $2.99 shake is hitting Burger King on April 17th, so mark your calendar, stake out your local BK for a good place to pitch a tent, and prepare you taste buds for trampling—this is gonna be like Black Friday, just with a lot more lactose.

And speaking of which, Burger King describes the Froot Loops Milkshake as containing “Velvety Vanilla-flavored Soft Serve, FROOT LOOPS® Cereal pieces and sweet sauce are hand spun to perfection to create a twist on one of America’s classic breakfast cereals.”

I don’t know what “sweet sauce” is, but I know I’d like it served from wine glasses at my wedding.

Posted by dan g.. Categories: News. Tags: froot loops, news. 2 Comments

Mar. ’17

News: Birthday Cake Froot Loops is Coming Soon to Canada

https://www.instagram.com/p/BR4ewPhAuEL/?taken-by=junkfoodcanada

(Update: We reviewed Birthday Cake Froot Loops!)

And just like that, Canada takes the lead!

I swear, 2017 so far has just been a back-and-forth battle between the U.S. and Canada to see who can release the coolest cereal exclusives. To name just a few of this crunchy conflict’s top warriors, banana bread and marshmallowy oatmeal have led Team Canada, while America’s platoon has been led by cookies, cookies, and, uh…more cookies.

It’s been a real war of nutrition attrition, with the only real winners being those who live along the border. But I think it’ll be hard for the States to retaliate against their northern neighbors’ latest cereal salvo: Birthday Cake Froot Loops, coming this summer to celebrate Canada’s 150th anniversary.

The first known photo of this stuff comes courtesy of JunkFoodCanada on Instagram, who I can only assume acquired the picture through some top secret breakfast espionage involving bowl-touting drones and lasers reflected off spoons.

I have no idea what Birthday Cake Froot Loops will taste like—or why Kellogg’s Canada gave such a custardy vanilla flavor to a fruity cereal instead of, say, Frosted Flakes (they could’ve called them “Frosting Flakes!”)—but based on the color, I’m hoping it has a nice strawberry shortcake or cherry vanilla flavor.

My silent apologies to any kid who got a strawberry shortcake for his birthday. They may be good, but strawberry shortcakes will never hold a blubbery candle to Fudgie the Whale.

Posted by dan g.. Categories: News. Tags: canada, froot loops. 5 Comments

Jun. ’16

Guest Review: Kellogg’s Froot Loops Cereal

I have a contentious relationship with change.

Change is what replaced the Saturday morning adventures of TJ Detweiler, Pepper Ann Pearson, and Doug Funny with 10-year-old infomercials for the NuWave Oven.

Change is what forced out totally believable, badass bad guys like Grand Moff Tarkin in favor of obnoxiously nasally Disney spinoff characters.

Change made McDonald’s French fries less irresistible, banished Oreo O’s to Korea (the good one), and turned fifth grade gym classes of army dodgeball into sixth grade gym classes of badminton. Bad-freaking-mittens.

I have a contentious relationship with change, especially when I’m holding up the line at the grocery store because I’m three pennies short of the $1.88 I need to buy a box of Froot Loops.

“Oh. Just take it.”

I grin at the pimply-faced high schooler behind the register at Weis. I have a strong desire to pull my resident old-man card and reminiscence on my own days working through that hell on earth we call “summer jobs,” but then again, I’ve already gotten my blast from the past for one day. Besides, no one wants to relive Kmart at $7.25 an hour. Trust me.

Modern man may have relegated the greatest cartoons of all time to fuzzy YouTube videos, but it’s good to know that Toucan Sam and Froot Loops still get a place on the endcaps of grocery store aisles. This is one cereal that I can count on, obnoxiously large beaked mascot and all.

Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 9 rating, froot loops, kelloggs. 4 Comments