Tag Archives: count chocula

Review: Pillsbury Monster Cereal Shape Cookies – Count Chocula & Franken Berry!

New Pillsbury Monster Cereal Shape Cookies Review - Box

I’ll just say it: Count Chocula and Franken Berry don’t understand Halloween. Fun-sized Snickers and whimsical apple-Roberting aside, the holiday is supposed to be scary: slashers, head bashers, teeth gnashers and all that heebie-jeebie jazz.

Yet this toothsome twosome is hawking us Pillsbury shaped sugar cookie dough that’s safe to eat raw? Where’s the danger? The thrill? Risking salmonella is half the fun—I mean, at least throw a couple loose jagged metal shavings into the mix, keep it interesting. Some eccentric bug larvae, or mutagenic research chemicals, maybe.

Oh well, I guess I’ll have to manufacture my own danger by eating these aw shucks sugar pucks fresh out of the oven, while they’re still monstrously molten. Continue reading

Spooned & Spotted: Count Chocula Treats (2020)

With a crunchy creak, the Count’s fudge-encrusted crypt has opened again, and with only one cocoa-buttered fingernail poking out so far, the news is…promising.

Thanks to Positively Ghostbusters, we have our first look at what 2020 has in store for Count Chocula plus his fellow Monster Cereals Franken Berry and Boo Berry. While I’m not holding out hope for a Frute Brute and Yummy Mummy return, much less a reversion to these now-corn-based Monstrosities’ former oat flour glory, the ear-shaped head of a vintage Chocula is enough to leave me spooking my pants about Halloween in July. Continue reading

News: Count Chocula’s 2019 Return

Warning: the below cereal is scary.

Terrifying.

Downright perturbing and petrifying.

Last chance to tuck in your inner child somewhere beneath your liver.

Okay, don’t say I didn’t warn you…

Count Chocula 2019 Monster Cereal Box

If you’re unsure why the above cereal box art sparks so much primal revulsion in the pits of my soul, you’ve got a few decades of creatively Choculated lore to catch up on. For so long, General Mills’ Monster Cereals—and especially Count Chocula, as their de facto fanged leader—have returned during the Halloween season with new charming box themes and art styles, making them reliably nostalgic accent pieces for any reboot-free horror movie marathon.

But ever since the Monster Cereals’ oat flour formula was infamously changed—a decision that likely fractured us into the darkest timeline—their theming has gotten as inspired as the Children of the Corn franchise. At least to me, it feels like a palpable loss of innocence, especially since 2013’s gave false hope by bringing back Frute Brute and Yummy Mummy for just one year. Continue reading

Spooned & Spotted: Monster Cereal 3-pack!

Monster Cereal 3-pack

Kids nowadays have it so easy.

See, back in my day, we had to drive uphill both ways to Walmart, just to find Count Chocula. Then it was a grueling 5-mile crabwalk across gravel to snag Franken Berry at Target, before an interstate-length hot coal walk just to be told by my local Walgreens that Boo Berry is only available at some Cracker Barrel gift shop in the middle of a volcano.

So yes, I may be exaggerating a little, and General Mills’ new Monster Cereal bundle—found by Snack Stalker (thanks for sharing!) at Sam’s Club—may be convenient, but if my mom brought home a box set trilogy of breakfast’s finest freaks of nature, I’d be a little disappointed about losing the thrill of the hunt.

After all, chalky marshmallows taste so much better with sweat and elbow grease as their milk.

But I suppose if you want a fisticuff-worthy grab bag gift or seasonally appropriate doorstop, you can’t really go wrong with buying your breakfast boogeymen in bulk.

Review: Count Chocula Monster Cereal (2017)

2017 Count Chocula Monster Cereal Review – Box

I feel like I’m starring in a movie trailer for an unnecessary 2017 reboot of a classic ’80s film. You know, the kind of trailer that inevitably starts with all the wizened and crow-footed stars of the first movie reuniting in their old haunt to topically argue about how things just aren’t as good as they used to be and crack jokes about iPads?

Yeah, that’s how I feel about buying my 2017 box of Count Chocula, because those trailers always open with someone muttering the same line: “Well, here we are again.” Or maybe, “Hello, old friend.” Or even, “Y’all haven’t aged a day.”

Even though a year has passed since I’ve tasted the Count’s sweet cocoa spoils (not counting the expired box I found in my pantry and begrudgingly—though not regretfully—ate on the 4th of July), I feel like this caped chocolate cruncher has never left my side. Like a warm memory or a Tamagotchi that just won’t die, the nostalgic spookiness of Count Chocula—who’s been on shelves for 46 years now, despite being an ageless vampire—is resonant enough to keep me thinking about old elementary school Halloween parties and goofy candy corn cupcakes all year long.

So while I’m sure I won’t find much new to say about Count Chocula’s taste that I haven’t said in previous reviews, I owe this trusty Hershey’s syrup-blooded bloodsucker his annual tribute. Let’s sharpen our canines and start munchin’! Continue reading

Spooned & Spotted: 2017 Monster Cereals!

https://www.instagram.com/p/BXV4q44Dk0l/?taken-by=cantbear2livewithoutit

And just like that, the residual sweat of summer’s dog days has been wicked away, replaced with the foaming spittle of Halloween’s werewolf days.

Early August has long meant the resurrection of Count Chocula, Franken Berry, and Boo Berry, but even when I know it’s coming, I still get giddy when I see those pointy teeth, head valves, and that little porkpie hat. They’re the edible harbingers of an entire spookily delicious time of the year—the literal breakfasts of Halloween’s eating season, if you will.

Instagram user @cantbear2livewithoutit has the enviable honor of being 2017’s first successful Monster hunter, having found the trio at a Foodworld store, though General Mills has confirmed that the cereals have shipped everywhere as of late July.

As far as themes go, the Three Muske-Fears here have scaled back from their grandiose 2016 election campaign. Despite getting points for effort, the online voting process was riddled with bugs and miscommunication, while consumers in general were a little too election-fatigued to be thrilled by a Transylvanian one (it was clear within a week that the Count’s name recognition would be unbeatable).

This year, Count Chocula, Franken Berry, and Boo Berry’s cereal box artwork simply puts a new perspective on 2015’s augmented reality boxes—but they add the novel idea of monster marshmallows! It’s a simply concept, but a refreshingly innocent one. Count Chocula keeps his iconic, cocoa-swirled bat marbits, but Franken Berry gets his lumpy head turned into sugar nuggets, while Boo Berry’s box is filled with sweet used napkins.

I mean sheet ghosts—sheet ghosts! Please don’t haunt me, ghost of Pete Lorre.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BXXqKKED7HP/?taken-by=cantbear2livewithoutit

Can’tBEAR2livewithoutit was also kind enough to share the back of the box art. While the past few years have at least included cameos by cult favorite monster cereals Frute Brute and Yummy Mummy, it seems like this year they’re well and truly sleeping in their respective doghouse and pyramid. Instead, we get a suite of monster cereal cosplays from a bunch of other General Mills cereal mascots—and the Pillsbury Doughboy.

I love the idea of other food characters hanging out like some giant crossover episode, and I heartily hope that the Doughboy gets his own zombie-themed Pillsburied Alive monster cereal next year.

Until then, I’ll be hunting these boxes for a more comprehensive breakdown. Until then, our thanks go again to Can’tBEAR2livewithoutit for sharing the photo. Wanna see your own find in a Spooned & Spotted post? We’d love to see your latest breakfast haul, discovery, or feast: send it over on our Submissions page.

Review: General Mills Count Chocula Monster Cereal (2016)

Count Chocula Monster Cereal 2016 Box

I feel like I’m giving a toast at Count Chocula’s wedding. I mean, what is there left to say about an old friend who has been by my side nearly my whole life? Am I right, folks?

I definitely remember having a box of the Count by my elementary school-aged side during those otherwise dismal autumns that heralded the return of homework and playground bullies. And this fanged friend reliably returned year after year like a bloodthirsty Santa Claus. It doesn’t matter that General Mills’ annual Monster Cereal news in late August is like a new Fast & Furious film announcement: we all may know it’s coming, but we still collectively lose our minds anyway.

The only bad part about Count Chocula & Friends’ yearly visit is that they must at some point leave us. And even though the Monsters’ departure from shelves is more of a slow bleed out (I’ve found Boo Berry in close-out stores through late July of the next year) than an abrupt goodbye, Monster-less November mornings are nonetheless marred by a few milky crocodile tears.

So this night’s for you, Count Chocula: may your marriage to the Countess be happy. But enough sentimentality—just because I’ve reviewed Count Chocula cereal before doesn’t mean I can’t make it my fall tradition. Who knows, maybe I’ll taste something I missed before.

Let’s free these chocolate ghosts from their plastic sarcophagus. Continue reading

Election Fever: General Mills’ 2016 Monster Cereals!

(Update: My annual review of Count Chocula for 2016 is here!)

It’s September, which means I can finally start using the term “Halloweeny” in public without sounding like I’m talking about a cheddar hot dog that tragically came without any cheese filling. Though trust me: I will be making a lot of those crescent roll mummy Halloweiners.

So what better way to kick off the boo-na fide Halloween season than with everyone’s favorite spooky trilogy? No, I don’t mean a marathon session of all three I Know What You Did Last Summer movies: I’m talking about Count Chocula, Franken Berry, and Boo Berry cereals!

While these monster cereals have already been spotted in stores like Target, Big Lots, and Walgreens, I want to thank General Mills for generously sending me the spooker care package you see above, which contained the cereals themselves and so, so much more. I know what you’re thinking, and I agree. Couldn’t they have thought of more creative sequel names than I Still Know What You Did Last Summer and I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer?

But enough about murderous fishermen. Let’s start researching for an I Know What You Ate Last Autumn screenplay instead. Continue reading