Tag Archives: cinnamon

Review: Nature’s Path Golden Turmeric Cereal

Nature's Path Golden Turmeric Cereal Review Box

I only know three things about turmeric:

1. It reminds me of elementary school (and two days ago) Neopets favorite Turmac Roll.

2. It’s in a lot of hip dishes that a man of my economic stature has no business even observing through any organ from the sinuses down.

3. My mom once bought a full bottle of it, and after realizing she didn’t know what to do with it, left it to hibernate for years behind the expired taco seasoning packets, like an auburn hermit.

And I guess I also know that Nature’s Path’s Golden Turmeric cereal is the first cereal of its kind. Combining thick, Tostitos Scoops-shaped flakes with turmeric, honey, cinnamon, and flakes of coconut, this smorgasbord of snappy spice promises to educate my palate like a benevolent Gordon Ramsay fresh out of the convent.

So without further ado, let’s see whether sugar, spice, and everything nice play nice here.

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Review: Kashi by Kids Cereals – Honey Cinnamon & Berry Crumble

Kashi by Kids Honey Cinnamon & berry Crumble Cereals Review

Children are powerful.

They have the power of mind control, just by releasing water from their eyes. They have the thermal potential to make an ice cream cone drip all over the place, just by looking at it. And they have the power to turn an entire car around, just by doing those first two things.

I know this power because I wielded it so many years ago. Although in my case, instead of drippy ice cream it was dropping an entire pizza slice crust side up onto my mother’s plush car floor mat. I think tomato plants have since grown from the stained point of impact.

Case in point, I’m not surprised Kashi harnessed the imagination potential of real kids to design their two newest healthy cereals: Honey Cinnamon and Berry Crumble. Given Kashi’s tendency toward piece homogeneity, I was surprised to see that each cereal contains two totally different cereal players: a flavor-stuffed pillow is unique to both, but Honey Cinnamon boasts tiny cinnamon snail shells, while Berry Crumble boasts indigo orbs.

Of course, it does take childlike whimsy to break corporate sameness, so if a little youthful thinking is what it would take to get, say, a Choco Taco shaped/flavored breakfast product, then I’m all for seeing Kellogg’s pick the developing brains of more cereal prodigies.

Tony the Tiger could play Kindergarten Cop, right?

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Review: Cheerios Cinnamon Oat Crunch Cereal

General Mills Cheerios Cinnamon Oat Crunch Cereal Review Box

Which cereals go to the gym?

It’s becoming easier to tell. Previously, it was clear that the burly likes of Raisin Bran and Grape Nuts totally work out—and that Wheat on the bench press? Totally Shredded—while Tony the Tiger’s protein-deprived Frosted Flakes definitely skip leg day.

But other classic cereals? Unclear. But with the release of Cheerios’ new Cinnamon Oat Crunch cereal, we know original Cheerios must be wimpy as a honey-soaked pool noodle, because these oat-specked rings are true cereal alpha grains.

Evoking the appearance of both Cheerios Protein and Honey (née Graham) Oh’s, Cinnamon Oat Crunch Cheerios trade muscly protein for stomach-rumbling fiber, with some remaining from the scaly layer of oat shard coating each like wholesome armor.

I’ve heard good things leading up to this review, so I’m ready to go toe-to-toe in the ring (my bowl) with this no pain, no grain gym rat.

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Review: Trader Joe’s Crunchy Cinnamon Squares Cereal Milk Chocolate Bar

Trader Joe's Crunchy Cinnamon Squares Milk Chocolate Bar Review

I love cutting out the middle man—or in the case of this Cinnamon Toast Crunch-inspired chocolate bar, cartoon baker.

See, when I eat a healthy(ish) cereal like Trader Joe’s Crunchy Cinnamon Squares, I like to reward myself for making good decisions. I don’t go overboard, and I always aim for balance: I’ll top my hot dogs with pizza (a vegetable), put extra syrup (made from trees!) on my pancakes, or I’ll eat a dozen fun-sized candy bars.

(As they’re objectively the least fun candy bar size, I’m doing the world a favor.)

But now thanks to Trader Joe, I don’t have to waste time between snack(ish) and treat, time that I’d just waste breathing, walking, or *shudder* exercising. By merging their pretty-good Crunchy Cinnamon Squared into an appropriately squared milk chocolate bar, TJ’s has radically optimized my calories-per-minute stats.

No more Homemade Double Decker Mayonnaise Oreos for this happy fella! Continue reading

Review: Ideal Oats Oatmeal – 3 Flavors!

ideal-oats-oatmeal-review

Look, oatmeal is no one’s idea of ideal.

Sure, it’s healthy, wholesome, warm, nourishing, and all that jazz, but it’s also ugly. Those moist, lumpy, and occasional drippy beige chunks? Second only to canned tuna on my list of “tasty foods I’d swipe left on if Betty Crocker made a dating app.”

That’s why I’m giving props to Ideal Oats for trying to glamorize, or at least revolutionize, the classic breakfast with a face for radio. Billed as “Oatmeal, Reinvented,” Ideal Oats not only aims to help the fitness-conscious with 20g of protein per, but it also aims to overthrow the oatmeal aisle oligopoly of Apple Cinnamon and Maple Brown Sugar by bringing in never-before-seen flavors.

Needless to say, as someone whose recent exercise log primarily consists of long walks to the back of the grocery store to buy more Reese’s Cup coffee creamer, it’s the flavors that make most excited for this review.

All three cups featured below were sent to me by Ideal Oats, but I promise the freeness of the oats won’t influence my review. When it comes to peanut butter and bananas, I don’t lie: not after the infamous “Mario Kart PB&J Incident of 2008.”

I’m still finding tear-stained crumbs in my carpet. Continue reading

Review: Annie’s Organic Cinnabunnies Cereal (Gluten Free)

Gluten-Free Annie's Organic Cinnabunnies Cereal Review Box

I’m gonna be real with you, Annie: you missed a huge opportunity.

Instead of the delightfully droll pun “Cinnabunnies,” you could have worked with the good folks at Cinnabon to craft an organic cinnamon roll recipe, melt those rolls into a fine paste (using only gluten-free fire), then used that base formula to glaze your wee little sorghum and rice flour bunnies.

Then you could have authentically called them “Cinnamon BUNnies.”

You see what I did there? Bun? Like the baked…good…?

Alright, I’ll shut up and review the cereal. Continue reading

Review: Cinnamon Toast Crunch Blasted Shreds Cereal

Cinnamon Toast Crunch Blasted Shreds Cereal Review Box

Is Cinnamon Toast Crunch the new Oreo? The new pumpkin spice? The new sriracha? The new activated almonds?

Yes, like all those hip and trendy flavors (well, minus maybe the almonds: I’m just fascinated by nuts that unlock monkish hidden powers when soaked in water), Cinnamon Toast Crunch seems to be popping up more and more, not just as a cereal, but as a phenomenon. A condiment abstraction, if you will.

Cinnamon Toast Crunch Bites! Cinnamon Toast Crunch Granola Snack! Cinnamon Toast Crunch Shake! Cinnamon Toast Crunch the Flamethrower! Quite frankly, I’m surprised we haven’t seen actual Cinnamon Toast Crunch branded bread yet, made specifically for use in your Cinnamon Toast Crunch Toast Toaster.

Regardless of how long it takes to reach Cinnamon Toast Singularity, these new Cinnamon Toast Crunch Blasted Shreds are here to cinnamon swirl us one step closer. It’s one of two new Blasted Shreds cereals, and it aims to remix boring old shredded wheat biscuits by fire-hosing it with enough flavored powder to build a sweetened sugarcastle. Or perhaps a sugarhospital.

Anyways, let’s carve a new belt notch and carve into a box!

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Review: Kashi Cinnamon French Toast

Kashi Cinnamon French Toast Cereal Review Box

Let’s raise a toast to 2018: a bowl of Kashi’s new Cinnamon French Toast Cereal, to be more specific.

Yes, I figured this warm ‘n’ cozy-sounding, breakfast-within-a-breakfast cereal would be a fitting first review for the year of MMXVII for two reasons: one, it’s pretty darn healthy and New Year’s friendly, at 90 calories per 3/4 cup serving with 5 grams of fiber for “spring cleaning,” and just 6 grams of sugar.

Yep, you read that right: Cinnamon French Toast barely out-sweetens Wheat Chex, a cereal I’m pretty sure can double as soy bean fertilizer.

Oh, and the second reason? Because Kashi’s bulging little toasts here adopt a “new year, new me” philosophy to deliciously remix a bunch of other cereal flavors you’ve probably already tried and shamefully binged a whole box of during while binge-watching The Office for so long that Netflix skipped asking if you were there and just asked, “Are you still okay?” Continue reading