Tag Archives: cinnamon

News: BJ’s Cinnamon Toast Crunch Pizookie

BJ's Cinnamon Toast Crunch Pizookie

The Cinnamon Toast Crunch Pizookie tops a buttery sugar cookie with vanilla ice cream and cinnamon sugar. No word on whether this will naturally evolve into a Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch seasonal variant (but it should!).

The pizookie, a pizza-shaped cookie, is a dangerous concept, for it implies the existence of cookie-shaped pizzas, an impulse dinne-ssert hybrid I would gladly dunk by the dozen into a mug-full of marinara before slam dunking my noggin into the nearest plush throw pillow.

And BJ’s, a national restaurant chain of 200+ locations, isn’t tempering my snack-splicing temptations. The latest in their line of deep and decadently dished cookie-pies is the Cinnamon Toast Crunch Pizookie. I’ll admit I dropped the ball on bringing you this news in a timely fashion—the CTC PZ actually released early this March, but I’ll claim justifiable ignorance, since the nearest BJ’s location to me is more than half a Mitten State away.

But today’s perhaps a better day than any for a penitent pizookie post, because it’s apparently National Free Pizookie Day (so practically Easter 2), and BJ’s is giving away free pizookies with any purchase of $9.95 or more. This of course means you can double-fist some savory ‘za in one hand and a sloppily spicy-sweet handful of swirled cinnamon in the other. Just don’t let any anchovies flop into the ice cream.

If this post inspires even one person to brighten their Hump Day with a tall lump of cinnamon-sprinkled vanilla bean, then my whole week will have been worth it. So go forth, fellow pizookers: go forth and be free (with any purchase of $9.95 or more).

Review: New Pop-Tarts Cereal (Strawberry & Brown Sugar Cinnamon!)

Strawberry Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tarts Cereal Boxes

Go ahead: try and name a type of food that wouldn’t work as an adapted Pop-Tart.

A Pop-Tart Casserole? Ha, you doubt the binding power of sweet potato and marshmallow fluff.

Pop-Tart Steak? Psh, what is a grill but a giant toaster?

Pop-Tart Ravioli? I’m not even going there.

The point is that we probably shouldn’t expect Pop-Tarts’ attempted assimilation of the entire grocery store any time soon. They’ve already got the breakfast game on lock, in their classic form and in these new Pop-Tart Cereals. And their latest pouched, lunchtime snacks are poised to make Mother’s Animal Crackers cry Uncle by February. By this time next year, we’ll be eating Pop-Tarts-flavored Pop-Tarts for post-dinner breakfast. Assuming we left room after that schuh-rumptious Pop-Tarts Bolognese you made, Mrs. G. Seriously, my compliments.

Pop-Tart Bites and Crisps already wowed me, so I’m entering this first-of-the-year review with enthusiastic resolve: to eat more shape-shifting pastries than last year, in more forms than ever before. After all, Pop-Tart Cereal is the post-Internet-killing-the-video-star descendant of Pop-Tarts Crunch, a cereal remembered with near-universal fondness. What could go wrong?

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Review: Cinnamon Toast Crunch Churros Cereal

Cinnamon Toast Crunch Churros Cereal Review Box

There’s an old adage in the breakfast and breakfurious business of cereal: K.I.C.S., which of course stands for Keep It Cinn-ple Stupid.

The Toast Crunch family of cereals is many things: necromantic, with its obsessive reanimation of old products. It’s viral, as the cereal’s cinnamon-spiced squares infect products with only a tertiary connection to the cereal medium. And the Toast Crunches are borderline mythological, as one of their kin is seemingly set to rival Santa Claus in seasonal popularity (at least according to short surveys given to a small sample of IHOP parking lot-dwellers [my people!]).

Yes, these cereals are a complicated brood set on cereal domination. But they’re also clever, because they always keep things cinn-ple. Whether it’s actual Cinnamon Toast Crunch products or a fruity family tree outcrop, every T.C.-ereal know what strategy works for them, and they stick to it: sticking a flour sack’s worth of confectioner’s sugar-textured flavoring formula to pieces that are already mildly (but not distractingly) sweet, a 1-2 combo that could make even an End Piece of the Loaf Toast Crunch sound appealing.

Butt, I digress. New Cinnamon Toast Crunch Churros are interesting by design, because you, like I, may think on the surface that it’s just a lazy reimagining of an old flavor, stolen from Post. Yet its fascination comes from the question of whether Cinnamon Toast Crunch’s heavenly ghost of cereal dust can survive on an airy puffed piece without its decades old shell of squared crisped wheat/rice. If so, how long before these noodly Churros grow arms?

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Review: Pop-Tarts Crisps (Strawberry & Brown Sugar Cinnamon)

Kellogg's Pop-Tarts Crisps Review - Boxes

Calling it now: 2019 is going to be the year of zany breakfast peripherals.

Just as the ’80s and early 2000s video game industries saw an influx of variably successful light guns, and philharmonic orchestra’s worth of plastic instruments, the 2k1x’s penultimate year is already promising a wealth of niche offshoots for familiar breakfast brands.

Whether any of these budding taste-buddies will make it into a Smash Bros. game is another story, but if the first creatively derived Pop-Tartform I tried is any indication, we might have to raise regular Pop-Tarts to the rafters like foil-wrapped fading stars.

So while I wait for Pop-Tarts Cereal to complete Kellogg’s new almost-er pastry trifecta, it’s time to crack open perhaps the most understated and underhyped of the three: Pop-Tarts Crisps.

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Review: Pop-Tarts Bites (Strawberry & Brown Sugar Cinnamon!)

Kellogg's Pop-Tarts Bites Review - Strawberry & Brown Sugar Cinnamon Boxes

Understanding the pervasive appeal of Pop-Tarts Bites is easy:

Would you rather have a bite of pie, or a bite of entire pie?
A red Skittle or a concentrated rainbow pill?
The east wall of a gingerbread house, or the entire 20-acre gingerbread farm?

My point is that while any individual bite of a Pop-Tart—which maxes out at around a quarter-Tart in extreme cases, or at least in my own—cannot possibly contain the same measured deliciousness as the entirety of a Pop-Tart, as in all of the crust and everything inside, in one bite. It’s like having a party-sized pizza, which typically have contentiously hand-soiling Cheese Only slices, vs. a whole-crust-and-kaboodle Pizza Roll.

Yes, Pop-Tarts Bites are tasty enough to surpass my typically quasi-topical recipe for review introductions. These spiritual successors to Pop-Tarts Mini Crisps (née Popsters) naturally come in the toaster pastry brand’s two unshakeable pillars of flavor: Strawberry & Brown Sugar Cinnamon. The de facto Pop-Tarts royal family will begin appearing in all their shrunken glory come January, but for now, I was postally blessed via Kellogg’s with enough pouches to last me ’til Christmas (edit: Christmas Eve) (edit 2: Christmas Eve Eve).

(edit 3: I need to stop eating these)

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Review: Millville Snickerdoodle Kookies Cereal

Millville Aldi Snickerdoodle Kookies Cereal Review Box

Is it time for a Cinnamon Toast Coup yet?

Loose crunchologic records suggest the crazy squared cereal’s cinnamon dynasty dates back to roughly the Byzantine era, while recent calcium dating suggests its dominance began way back in the Earth’s primordial soup, wherein the CTC clan of sugar-specked protozoa were the only ones of their kind that didn’t sog into earlier extinction.

Regardless of its origin, there’s little doubt that Cinnamon Toast Crunch is the most popular cinnamon cereal out there. And while I love CTC and its rich pedigree of powdered and breaded breakfast-stuff, I’ve long hoped for a challenger to the throne.

Because if the cinnamon spice must flow, so too must some fresh milk.

Despite Kellogg’s best efforts, they haven’t come close, while Post and Quaker’s strongest cinna-sieges are comfort classics at best. I guess it’s up to Millville, Aldi store-brand underdog and possible puppet organization, to come out of left field with a cinnamon-seasoned seasonal cereal and hopefully blow me away…from my Cinnamon Toast addiction for at least a few merry mouthfuls.

So come, Snickerdoodle Kookies, first of the S. Doodle cereal lineage: show me what you’re really made of, and don’t hold back. Continue reading

Review: Cinnamon Toast Crunch Toaster Strudel – Cinnamania!

Cinnamon Toast Crunch Toaster Strudel Review Cinnamania Box

Uh, yes, General Mills customer service hotline? Yes, I’d like to file a serious complaint of the geometrically misleading nature.

See, your popular breakfast cereal product “Cinnamon Toast Crunch,” with its cinnamon-swirled, famously see-able taste, frequently tells me in its commercials—featuring cannibalistic cereal creatures who send a bad message about disrupting the food chain, but that’s a different phone call—to “Crave those Crazy Squares.”

Yet, the cereal’s newest crossover product, Cinnamon Toast Crunch Toaster Strudel, lacks the proper equilateral dimensions to qualify as a square. At best, they’re rectangular prisms, but even that forces me to uncomfortably suspend my knowledge of high school mathematics in order to enjoy this product.

Not that this is the first time you’ve spurned Cinnamon Toast Crunch’s signature shape, but after this egregious misstep, I must request that you atone for your mistake by changing the trademarked slogan to either “Reach toward those Rascally Rectangles” or “Quest for those Quirky Quadrilaterals.”

I’ll forgive your twice-toasted error for now—at least until breakfast is over—but just know one thing: your obtuse disregard for geometry has been acutely noted. Continue reading

News: Pop-Tarts Cereal Will Return in Early 2019!

2018 Pop-Tarts Cereal Strawberry Box

Photo via Kellogg’s

(Update: We reviewed both flavors!)

You ever hear news so good, it gets you feeling a little warm?

But not like, the bad, sweaty, smelly kind. Or the hauntingly feverish kind either. More like the cozily grill-lined, hot & toasty feeling of a warm blanket, or perhaps a toaster set to massage mode.

That’s how I felt when receiving visual confirmation that Pop-Tarts Crunch, a cereal thought to be lost by the technicolor dawn of Y2K and then unsuccessfully rebooted around 2013, will be returning to shelves on just as the year 20-ea-ting ends.

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