Tag Archives: cinnamon

Review: Three Wishes Cereal (Three Flavors!)

Three Wishes Grain-Free Cereal Review Boxes

More wishes. Boom, that was easy. And for the other two, bring back Waffle Crisp and the phrase “how’s tricks?” but don’t let the Trix Rabbit trademark it. Thanks.

Oh, wait, you weren’t asking, were you?

I wish you would’ve told me. But while my dreams of a colloquial world seen through amber-tinted glasses may have to wait, I’ll instead get the three wishes I’d never ask for out loud, but which will still appear under my Christmas tree between the socks and the Seinfeld box set (you can never have too many): a healthy cereal, that’s made by a small family, without the primary benefit being fiber content so high it’d give my small intestine a 1000mb/s connection.

Three Wishes is a newcomer in a specialty cereal niche that seeks to challenge the highs and lows of the low-sugar/low-everthing category. Created by the Wishingrad family, Three Wishes Cereal offers enough healthy specifics that it’s easier to quote them than type ’em out myself: “Grain free, plant based, vegan cereals made from chickpeas and pea protein,” with “More protein, less sugar, zero grains,” plus “No peanuts, no corn, no wheat, no rice, no dairy, no oats, and no soy. Our cereals are Kosher, Non-GMO and gluten-free certified.”

But hey, I’m just the taste test jockey, so I’ll be giving the three-flavor variety pack they kindly sent me a layman’s perspective. Please note that I am not on any restricted diets, so while I will be honest when clarifying my thoughts compared to sugary mainstream cereals, those looking for a nutritionist’s opinion can take mine with a grain of anything but actual grain. Let’s go! Continue reading

News: Coffee Mate Cinnamon Toast Crunch Coffee Creamer

New Coffee Mate Cinnamon Toast Crunch Coffee Creamer Cereal

Ignore the Funfetti—on this blog, we’re about done with generically vanilla-flavored things for a while.

Coffee 👏 creamer 👏 should have  👏 a built-in 👏 straw.

Or at least a strapped-in cereal straw.

As my comfort with consuming crude coffee creamer over cereal has only been emboldened by this blog, I’m worried that by the time I get my misty palms on a tankard of Cinnamon Toast Crunch coffee creamer, I’ll be fine with thoughtlessly transferring it into a Big Gulp cup.

General Mills is teaming up with Coffee Mate for this one, though it remains unclear how different CTC coffee creamer will be from, you know, any other cinnamon coffee creamer. It’s very much the same situation we just faced with Market Pantry Cereal Bowl Ice Cream, which ended up bringing in gingerbread vibes out of the leftmost corn & rice field, so I wouldn’t put it past General Mills to somehow make this coffee creamer taste like liquefied cookie butter…or liquefied regular butter.

If you find Cinnamon Toast Crunch coffee creamer, let us know what you think of it in the comments!

Review: Target’s Market Pantry Cereal Bowl Ice Cream

Market Pantry Cereal Bowl Ice Cream Review Cinnamon Toast Packaging

Cereal and milk have a deep, cosmic soul bond. This is known.

Naturally, we’ve seen enough cereal-infused milkshakes and ice creams to leave us brain-frozen ’til the cows come home.

But where’s the cerealized justice for other dairy delicacies? Sure, Trix basically defined the cereal–yogurt game so hard that it discouraged all competition and ultimately discontinued itself—except for one place, I guess? But despite my mildly discomforting, yet nevertheless ignored lactose intolerance, I demand more. I want Cocoa Krispies Kefir. Cap’n Crunch’s Peanut Butter Crunch Butter. Heck, give me Frosted Flakes Cottage Cheese, I’ll eat it. But only if it’s large curd, of course.

It’s not that I’m tired of cereal-flavored ice cream, it’s just that, in cases like Target’s new store-brand Market Pantry Cereal Bowl Ice Cream, the concept can easily feel uninspired. Like, “oh, this cereal tastes like pieces of bootleg Cinnamon Roast Munch? Gotcha, so it’s Cinnamon Ice Cream.”

Err, maybe I’m not giving enough credit to a potential “cereal milk” factor here. I’d better reserve judgement until I’m doubled over on the couch, looking for the right adjectives in between stomach-garglings more intestinally eviscerating than swallowed mouthwash. No pain, no bloggerly gain! Continue reading

Review: Cinnamon Crunch Krave

Kellogg's Cinnamon Crunch Krave Review Cereal Box

Quick: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? Because that may be the key to understanding which pillow—and corresponding cinnamon pillow cereal is right for you.

I’ll leave you to chew on that while I do a proper review intro.

So what’s the deal with chocolate and cinnamon? Though it has a place in many Mexican chocolates and specialty cinnamon buns, this spicy–sweet combo is uncommon when compared to chocolate and peanut butter, strawberry, or caramel. The only cereals I’ve known to try it are a ho-hum Kashi Shredded Wheat and Chocolate Toast Crunch—which is much heavier on the Choco-love than the Cinna-mania.

Yet here’s Krave (a cereal that, by right of its apparent divisiveness, very rarely gets limited edition variants) bringing that bold duo to the breakfast aisle’s forefront. I’ve long been an ardent defender of Krave’s honor—the folks who say it tastes like dog food change their tune real fast when you offer to square up in the alley behind PetSmart—but after S’Mores’ lackluster performance, but if Cinnamon Crunch blows up in my face, I may have to flip to Pop-Tarts Cereal’s cooler side of the stuffed pillow. Continue reading

Review: Malt-O-Meal Snickerdoodle Cookie Bites

Malt-O-Meal Snickerdoodle Cookie Bites Cereal Review Bag

Though they share a mother in milk, there are perhaps no other food pairings quite as harmonious and simultaneously anachronistic as cereal and cookies. One carries an entire nation’s breakfast connotations on its sugared back, while the other cloaks its doughy balls in the sinful jar of night. And yet, I can’t think of any one prepared treat that has inspired more cereals than the cookie, with its manifold masquerade of infinite options:

Oreo cereal. Nilla cereal. Even a modern holiday classic. I’ll admit this is a hollow victory, since the cookie clan certainly has such a broad definition. But hey, there are a ton of ice cream flavors out there, and with a few exceptions, cereals flavored like those suckers/lickers keep striking out.

Post & Malt-O-Meal (essentially creative twins, but one more literally thinks outside the box) are continuing the cookie’s never-crumbling reign by expanding their line of Cookie Bites even further. What started as a clear chip off the ol’ Cookie Crisp became Nutter Butter Cereal’s better half earlier this year. Now, it’s taking aim at the holiday season…a whole five months early?

I won’t question the business strategy behind dropping a snickerdoodle cereal in the summer, but all I’m saying is that if a cereal’s gonna celebrate Christmas in July, it better be offering me a steal of a deal on a used Kia Sorento. Continue reading

News: Two New Malt-O-Meal Cookie Cereals!

New Malt-O-Meal Cold Stone Creamery Cookie Doughn't You Want Some and Snickerdoodle Cookie Bites Cereals

We interrupt this week’s news blitz of new cookie-flavored and pillow-shaped cereals with something even more exciting: two big honkin’ pillow-sized bags of cookie cereal!

Just as Post is launching Mega Stuf Oreo O’s in bagged form, its subsidiary cereal kilns at Malt-O-Meal are cranking out dozens of dozens of little cookies to fill bags of new Cold Stone Creamery and mainline Malt-O-Meal Cookie Bites.

Cookie Doughn’t You Want Some is the latest (and most cumbersomely named) entry in Malt-O-Meal’s partnership with Cold Stone Creamery, which launched with the lame party of Birthday Cake Remix and fantastically grahamed Our Strawberry Blonde.

The Cold Stone flavor this is modeled on is popular for a reason. It includes “French Vanilla Ice Cream with Chocolate Chips, Cookie Dough, Fudge and Caramel,” i.e. the only things a human needs for eternal happiness. Cookies Doughn’t You Want Some appears to simplify the formula a great deal, only boasting cookie dough-flavored cereal with marshmallows. I sincerely hope the cookie dough base brings more nuanced, buttery or eggy richness than other cookie cereals, rather than this just being Cookie Crisp with Marbits.

Because then I’d have to call Officer Crumb to raid M-O-M headquarters with a wrongful impersonation affidavit. Continue reading

Review: Fillows Cereal (Hershey’s Cookies ‘n’ Creme and Pillsbury Cinnamon Roll!)

Hershey's Cookies n Creme & Pillsbury Cinnamon Roll Fillows Cereal Review Boxes

What would it take to end the Krave Civil War?

You know, the ceaseless, caustic conflict between those who love those graham-wrapped little choco-chrysalises (hi, it’s me) and those who think they taste like dog food (*ahem*). Such division doesn’t belong in the breakfast aisle, a demilitarized zone for those seeking unanimously sweet solidarity and shared cereal ceasefires. But what are we to do?

Should we pan-fry pieces of Krave to make them more palatable?
Barrel-age our Krave in Bailey’s to make it more…utilitarian?
Or must we Kravers acquiesce and bury all our polarizing cereal right next to the hatchet?

The answer’s far simpler: build a better filled pillow cereal. Which is just what General Mills has done with their aptly named Fillows line of cereals. These little cereal nuggets are filled with crème (though some sites have called it icing), and are currently only available at Walmart in family-sized boxes. But even though each box weighs over a pound—and features foil, rather than plastic, bags to properly secure their shimmering density—I don’t think you’ll need a family to finish it.

Just be ready to carry a food baby when you’re finished.

Continue reading

News: Fillows Cereal is Launching in Pillsbury Cinnamon Roll & Hershey’s Cookies ‘n’ Creme!

Ever have one of those dreams where the Pillsbury Doughboy offers you a bite of his arm, and you wake up molar-deep in memory foam?

Uh, yeah, me neither.

But if you have ever wanted to sink your teeth in a pillow first thing every morning, General Mills has two new cereals to tickle your down-feathered fancy.

They’re called Fillows, and they’re launching this Monday at select Walmart stores, before hitting other grocery chains this fall. Coming in both Hershey’s Cookies ‘n’ Creme and Pillsbury Cinnamon Roll, Fillows are likely a bold effort by General Mills to counter their rivals’ tasty cereal partnerships—though Cookies ‘n’Creme has actually existed in regional markets for some time now.

Fillows claim to be “the only cereal to deliver a crunchy shell with a burst of creme filling in every bite.” Which isn’t really true, especially since Fillows are already a direct dig at Krave—I hear they even meant to call ’em Krillows, but it would’ve ruined their idea for a crunchy crustacean cereal.

Comparisons aside, I’m very excited to try both icing-packed flavors and immediately fill my own pillow with my face.