Are strawberries anyone else’s favorite fruit? Don’t get me wrong, I love just about every fruit—pears can rot in the dry, mealy ground for all I care. But there’s something about the perfect pop-ability, late spring–early summer vibes, and shortcake satisfaction of strawberries. It doesn’t hurt that artificial strawberry is the best fake fruit flavor, too.
Seriously, if y’all got any pink Laffy Taffy laying around, chuck ’em in the general direction of Michigan.
Because I like strawberries so much, I will never turn down a new strawberry cereal. So when Cheerios introduced both Chocolate Strawberry and Multigrain with Strawberries varieties, I knew I had to tackle both in one straw-some ode of a review to my favorite, rosily plump fruit. After all, plain ol’ Strawberry Cheerios were amazing, so what could go wrong, right? Continue reading →
For real though, Krave haters be darned, I’m absolutely psyched that not only is there a new variety hitting shelves now, but it’s one of my all-time favorite flavor profiles. Sure, chocolate chip cookies are alright, but nothing beats a chewy, slightly grainy, and brown-buttery gob of unbaked cookie dough—salmonella also be darned. Granted, cookie dough is a pretty nuanced flavor to cram into a single cereal shell—sadly, the filling on these is only chocolate—but Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough is also probably my favorite Pop-Tart flavor currently available, so I trust Kellogg’s to infuse the same amount of indulgent goodness into these chips off the ol’ chocolate block.
Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Krave has already been spotted at Meijer. Have you tried it yet?
(Update: there will also be a third Larabar Cereal variety: Cashew Cookie!)
Six months after the first bar-turned-cereal reared its overpriced head, Larabar is giving chase. It’s unclear whether KIND inspired Larabar parent company General Mills to deconstruct their energy bars too—try as I might, I couldn’t figure out who makes KIND Cereal. KIND is owned by Mars, a name that certainly isn’t a breakfast aisle regular, as they repeatedly refuse to drop an M&M’s cereal. But I digress; I like Larabars a lot more than KIND bars, so I’m genuinely wishing them well with the ambitious Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip above.
I’ll be honest with y’all: I think this cereal is going to taste amazing.I anticipate a total slapper, if not a Cereal of the Year contender. Why am I so confident? Just look at it! Chocolate chips, peanuts, oats and flakes—how can it go wrong? I’ll lament that there probably won’t be any doughy notes like in a real Larabar, but this is giving me serious Love Crunch vibes. And that’s saying something.
General Mills’ upcoming Chocolate Strawberry Cheerios, releasing next month, has big, choco-nutty-buttery shoes to fill.
By the stylization of the box and typography, Chocolate Strawberry is ostensibly the next in line to the throne of Chocolate Peanut Butter Cheerios. Since Choco-PB Cheerios is one of my favorite ever Cheerio varieties—it’s like a Reese’s Puffs HD remaster—I have high expectations for Choco-Strawb. Will it be potently powdered? Will the strawberry hoops taste just like Strawberry Cheerios, or will they up the puréed ante? And if they succeed, will General Mills complete the holy trilogy by dropping Peanut Butter & Strawberry Jelly Cheerios?
Chocolatey & Fruity: the Adam & Eve of cereal flavors. Or to be more secular, the Dialga & Palkia. As two admittedly broad classifiers. Chocolatey & Fruity nevertheless encapsulate the vast majority of non-Honey Nut cereals—we’ll call that one Giratina.
But while “Fruity” is a very malleable term, representing every cornucopious blend from Trix to Froot Loops, “Chocolaty” deals primarily in shades of subtlety. Sure, texture aside, you could probably tell the tastes of Cocoa Puffs & Pebbles apart, yet daring revolutions in chocolate cereal technology are rare. Usually things just get fudgier, or tweaked with a supplementary flavor enhancement. I want to know what it tastes like when a cereal brand focuses on refining chocolate and chocolatey flavor alone, which is why General Mills’ Ultimate Taste Comeback—particularly the cocoa’d duo of the four—have high expectations to live up to.
Well that, and we’ve already been slightly disappointed by Retro Recipe Golden Grahams, as well as unimpressed that Ultimate Taste Comeback Trix didn’t actually change anything (further evidenced by the fact that when General Mills sent me all four cereals to sample, they included old Trix box art rather than the fresh, big rabbit-headed version seen in Ultimate Taste Comeback graphics).
Enough exposition! Let’s expose these Puffs and Cookies for what they really are… Continue reading →
That’s it, folks: I’m officially out of my element and not properly certified to dissect this news piece. It just feels like, after so many recentmutationswithin the Toast Crunch family—which is really more like a genus at this point—Toast Crunchology has become a discipline so complicated it requires a college degree to fully grasp the ecological, gastronomical, and heck, cosmological significance of Chocolate Churro Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
Of course, the humorless reality is that this Chocolate Churro Toast Crunch is far from revolutionary. Just as regular Cinnamon Toast Crunch Churros tasted nearly identical to their square relatives, so too will Chocolate Churro Cinnamon Toast Crunch most likely adapt Chocolate Toast Crunch in a more tubular, crunchy, and palate-lancing shape.
Despite its not-too-surprising existence—a convenient clap-back to Chocolatey Churro Pop-Tarts, perhaps?—Chocolate Churro Toast Crunch is probably going to be pretty good, because Chocolate Toast Crunch and Cinnamon Toast Crunch Churros are also, well, pretty good. Congratulations, young Choco—Cinna Churros: you are the apples of both parents’ eyes.
Oh, thank goodness. There’s a new Life out—this current one’s been getting pretty stale. I think 2020 was its expiration date. I can only imagine that living a chocolate life is gonna be a heck of a lot sweeter than the plain one I have every day.
Wait, you mean Quaker’s new Chocolate Life Cereal doesn’t include a free immersive Matrix pill as the prize inside? I have to just eat the stuff and pretend I’ve been thrown down a perspective-shifting rabbit hole? Yeugh. This new cereal ride is quite the lemon already.
That said, Chocolate Life is, from the outset, more exciting than the long-running, Mikey-beloved cereal brand’s other latest spinoff varieties. Because unlike the light flavor-glosses found on Vanilla or Strawberry Life, Chocolate Life actually features visible cocoa-infusion at the base grain level.
UPDATE: Shortly after posting this, Oatmeal Creme Pies Cereal has been CONFIRMED for a December release by Kellogg’s! No word on Cosmic Brownies yet.
UPDATE 2: Kellogg’s has told me that Cosmic Brownies Cereal “is not launching at this time.” Whether this means it’s been scrapped entirely remains unclear.
Get out of my brain, Big Cereal! Good ideas don’t come ’round too often in this noggin of mine, so I can’t have you siphoning ’em off like a milk-blooded facehugger.
Okay fine, it doesn’t take a particularly ingenious synapse-firing to realize a Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pie Cereal would be a great idea, but given the number of times I’ve referenced the iconic snack cake on this breakfast-centric blog, I at least deserve fringe kudos for keeping the things prominent in our toothsome zeitgeist.
That said, this rumor is an interesting one—it starts with a YouTube video detailing not only a leaked Oatmeal Creme Pies Cereal, but a Cosmic Brownies Cereal, too.
Now, there’s plenty to be skeptical about here. For one, finding evidence of any ongoing relationship between Little Debbie and Kellogg’s is difficult, beyond product recalls from a decade ago claiming Kellogg’s manufactured some snack cracker products for Little Debbie’s parent company McKee Foods. But if Post could cozy up with Hostess, it wouldn’t surprise me to see competitor Kellogg’s seize the chance to partner with the next largest snack cake company. At the same time, with no box art (or rainbow sprinkles!) for Cosmic Brownies Cereal, one could reasonably argue that the cereal pictured is just the similar-looking Cocoa Puffs Brownie Crunch.
But luckily, just this morning I got an inside scoop from a retail worker who saw the UPC for a Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pies Cereal in their store’s product order catalogue. They were quick to note, though, that said catalogue also included listings for long-gone releases like Frute Brute and Yummy Mummy, so while all signs point to an imminent release of these two Little Debbie cereals, I can’t confirm them with 100% certainty just yet.
Regardless, my hype is has reached the height of three-to-four dozen double-decker Oatmeal Creme Pies, so I’m going to be reciting silent prayers to goad these leaks into a realized retail birth—especially if the OCP Cereal debuts with a vengeful amount of oat flour. What do you think? Legit or no? Feel free to sound off in the comments below.
