Tag Archives: cheerios

21

Dec. ’22

Review: Cheerios Oat Crunch – Berry

New Cheerios Berry Oat Crunch Review - Box

Senioritis is real.

In my fourth year at the fancy-pants math & science high school I went to—which I mention not as a brag, for it was essentially just a safe haven for nerds who’d get be-swirlied and de-lunch-moneyed otherwise—my annual research group fell so far from our former graces. Where once we studied the effects of atmospheric conditions on things like coffee acidity and laser attenuation, we ended our esteemed tenure like a squeaking mouse fart in the night, deciding instead to determine the effect of a potato’s surface area on its rate of osmosis….a question so obvious that a root vegetable hooked to a battery could probably figure it out.

Naturally, our teacher admonished us but ultimately let us get away with it, because once you’re mentally checked out with the tantalizing liberation of college on the horizon, it would take a menacing cyborg library cop to check us back in. And luckily, our little geek asylum wasn’t that well funded.

Why do I bring this up? Because “Berry” is now the fourth member to join the Cheerios Oat Crunch family of cereals, an esteemed breakfast dynasty that I’ve no-doubt given more consistently positive feedback than any other cereal line reviewed on this site. Between the tongue-hugging warmth of Cinnamon Oat Crunch, the golden perfection of Oats ‘N Honey (well, other than that imperfectly stylized ‘N), and the nutty nuance of Almond Oat Crunch, Cheerios G.O.A.T. Crunch has truly done no wrong…

…and now we have Berry.

I think you can see where I’m going with this. Continue reading →

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23

Jun. ’22

Review: Honey Vanilla Cheerios

New Honey Vanilla Cheerios Review – Box

Ever wonder what a plain ol’ butter & jelly sandwich might taste like? What about simply sour chicken, an unadorned upside-down cake, or a pizza topped only with…pepper?

Yeah, me either. But that’s the Honey Vanilla Cheerios experience: like eating something extremely familiar, but without one of the signature, accenting somethings that define the dish. Granted, I’m exaggerating, and Honey Vanilla Cheerios don’t taste as bad as fouled fowl, but it’s palpably missing something.

And that something, dear reader, is Nut.

Continue reading →

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17

Jan. ’22

Review: Strawberry Banana Cheerios

New Strawberry Banana Cheerios Review Box

Cheeri-Oats are the Cheery G.O.A.T.s!

There ya go, General Mills: I just wrote you a free catchphrase that uses trendy lingo all today’s kids can relate to.

What’s that you say? I’m not a youth any more, let alone a hip nor happenin’ one? Well listen, I came here to review twice-fruited Cheerios, not walk right into a self-inflicted existential crisis like Sideshow Bob into a rake.

The point of my haplessly out-of-touch sloganeering was to simply point out how, as a brand, Cheerios does not miss. Those dense ‘n’ hearty toasted oat rings are the perfect vehicles for any flavor imaginable, to the point where I can’t think of a Cheerios variety I didn’t like. At worst, you’ll get something that’s just plain solid like Chocolate Strawberry Cheerios, but more often than not, Cheerios is cranking, churning, extruding, and glazing out hit after hit—to the point where it starts to make little sense why less impeccably consistent cereal lines like Lucky Charms and the Toast Crunch family seem to get all the public praise.

I get it, though. Cheerios doesn’t have the same bombastic, kid-focused and mascot-fronted brand appeal, but darn it, Cheerios should. As one of the last breakfast aisle bastion’s of purely oat-powered acumen, Cheerios deserves first dibs when it comes to creative new flavor infusions.

And if, somehow, you needed even more convincing proof of Cheerios’ wholesome bowlsome of O-some awesomeness, look no further than these new Strawberry Banana Cheerios. Continue reading →

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20

Nov. ’21

News: A Pantry’s Worth of New General Mills Cereals

New CinnaGraham Toast Crunch Cereal

Y’know, they say imitation is the sublimest form of flattery.

Yes, General Mills unleashed a mouthwatering downpour of new cereal news this week, and the twinkling, golden, Luciferianly tempting lightbringer leading the firestorm is CinnaGraham Toast Crunch: a game-changing union of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Golden Grahams that pairs the former’s sweet cinnamon sugar swirls with the latter’s hearty honey base grain.

To be honest, I’d’ve preferred if GM made this a variant of Golden Grahams instead of a Toast Crunch. I totally understand how CTC has more cult appeal, but poor Golden Grahams never gets limited edition variants, whereas there are enough members of the Toast Crunch family to start a mafia, inspire an Ancestry.com commercial, and clean out an Olive Garden. Continue reading →

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18

Jun. ’21

Bite-Sized Reviews: Team Cheerios, Kellogg’s Mashups, & Cap’n Crunch’s Chocolatey Churros

A picture may be worth a thousand words, but I couldn’t think of nearly that many to say about these three new, but mostly predictable, cereals.

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28

May. ’21

Review: Almond Cheerios Oat Crunch

New Almond Cheerios Oat Crunch Review Box

Like buying a gift for the person who has everything, or picking toppings for the bagel that is Everything, it’s tough saying much about a cereal line like Cheerios Oat Crunch, whose simple concept and already much-lauded lineage seems to speak for itself.

It’s got oats, and it’s got a whole lot of crunch. What’s not to love? Already released in both Cinnamon and Oats & Honey, Cheerios Oat Crunch has earned nothing but high marks and brimming enthusiasm from me. Oats & Honey in particular was named the #1 cereal of 2019—and it was probably the best cereal of the 2010s as a whole, too.

With that said, new Almond Cheerios Oat Crunch simultaneously has big, ring-shaped shoes to fill as well as a very low bar to clear. Because if it’s anything at all like its predecessors, it’ll easily be a bombastic breakfast. But the only way to find out is to dig in, eh?

Continue reading →

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18

May. ’21

News: Team Cheerios & General Mills Oatmeal (x4!)

New General Mills Cereals 2021

CEREAL 2021: RISE OF THE MEALLY OAT

Honestly, I’m starting to think a weird game of telephone went on at General Mills HQ. They heard our continued cries to restore oat flour to their Monster Cereals (which didn’t work), and interpreted it as “people want more cereal-flavored oatmeals!”

But hey, I’m not complaining—because it finally gives me a chance to talk about hot cereal on this site, which I coldly and rarely do, despite claiming to be a blog for all cereal. As you can see in the above image, posted this week by General Mills, there are a number of releases we already knew about, plus some surprises. Namely, Lucky Charms Oatmeal and Cinnamon Toast Crunch Oatmeal (both of which have previously released as Canadian exclusives), plus new Cocoa Puffs Oatmeal and Trix Oatmeal. If I had to guess, I’d predict Cocoa Puffs will be the standout star, as chocolate tends to infuse beautifully into oatmeal—especially when you toss in some chocolate chips that melt into lovely little landmines.

Team Cheerios Returns for 2021

Also of note here is the return of Team Cheerios. This stuff first debuted way back in 1996 to support the U.S. Olympian team, but it stuck around for a few years after as a Wheaties-esque celebration of all things athletic. Interestingly enough, despite the cereals discontinuation, you’ve always technically been able to enjoy the stuff, provided you’re willing to invest in a 96-count box of Team Cheerios Strawberry Cereal Bars.

However, while the original Team Cheerios combined regular, Multigrain, and Frosted Cheerios with an added brown sugar booster, 2021’s reunion is “Frosted Berry” flavored, which I would guess means these are a sweeter version of Very Berry Cheerios. Either way, I’m skipping the milk and eating these with Gatorade for peak performance.

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