Tag Archives: blueberry

Coming Soon: Frosted Mini-Wheats Filled – Mixed Berry

And the hits. Just. Keep. Coming.

You thought Blueberry Eggo Cereal was exciting? Psh, maybe if you’re a garden variety syrup snob.

And Blueberry Muffin Toasters? Don’t make me laugh. Isn’t that just Eggo for squares?

No, what any true-goo cereal fan should be excited for is just this: dry, sugar-dusted wheat bricks tenderly squelched (12%) full of dried mixed berry goo.

Uh, you know, when I put it that way, it doesn’t sound quite as good as bite-sized griddle cakes and cerealized Seinfeld concept restaurants. But regardless, thanks again to cereal sleuth of the month (year?) Devin, we now know that the Mixed Berry variety of Filled Frosted Mini-Wheats will be returning—though I wouldn’t blame you if you never noticed it leave.

In fact, this cereal concept is so niche—and admittedly blasé in its appeal—that I can’t even find an accurate lifespan for its original incarnation. The only key indicator that 2019 (or 2020)’s version is new is that they’re now simply called “Filled” instead of “Touch of Fruit in the Middle,” a welcome renaming that will no-doubt stave off my carpal tunnel minutes longer when it comes time to review this stuff.

Regardless, fans of fruit and obfuscatory wheat cages for said fruit can prep their berry-discerning taste buds to try this one soon. I mean, there is blueberry in there, so we can safely assume these will take well to butter and maple syrup.

Posted by dan g.. Categories: News. Tags: blueberry, kellogg's, mini-wheats, news. Leave a comment

Sep. ’19

News: First Look at New Malt-O-Meal Blueberry Muffin Toasters

That muffin you like is going to come back in style.

Blueberry Muffin Tops? Heard of ’em? Dreamt of ’em? Wept for ’em? Many do all three at once.

This early 2000s cult favorite pastried cereal had an impressive life, between being one of very few “Malt-O-Meal Originals” at the time, being criminally under-discussed save for its memorable feature in what is likely the most confusing cereal event to witness without context:

But it’s been discontinued for some time now, despite many fans lamenting for them, their pleas echoing unheard in whatever barren blueberry patch M-O-M had abandoned.

Nevertheless, the cereal persisted. A conspicuously short time after Justin and I discussed the cereal on The Empty Bowl, I shared a rumor that the cereal would be revived as Blueberry Muffin Toasters—and now we have visual confirmation of the beautiful stuff!We must again thank reader Devin, who already tipped us off about Blueberry Eggo Cereal‘s upcoming release. Sort of an interesting impasse Kellogg’s and Malt-O-Meal have found themselves in—each releasing an ooey-gooey fresh-baked blueberry cereal around the same time.

Who will triumph? Toaster or griddle? With a jar of peanut butter as my witness, I vow to find out in a JIFfy.

Posted by dan g.. Categories: News. Tags: blueberry, malt-o-meal, news. 6 Comments

Sep. ’19

News: Blueberry Eggo Cereal is Coming Soon!

Buckle up, friends: we’re in for a ride.

In fact, you should probably buckle up, drive to your nearest greasy spoon station, pull up to pump #4, Ignore the standard unleaded butter and mid-grade compotes. No, only super premium syrup will provide the fuel needed for this high-octane breakfast road trip.

You may recall that August 24 was National Waffle Day, which, unlike the seemingly arbitrarily dated National Cereal Day, actually commemorates the anniversary of the first waffle iron patent. You may also remember that on said red-letter day, the red-fonted Eggo Twitter account promised to bring back Eggo Cereal, should they get 10,000 retweets.

If this gets 10,000 RTs we’ll bring back Eggo cereal. #NationalWaffleDay https://t.co/iPqTrr9pAp

— Eggo (@eggo) August 24, 2019

They did, of course, and while we may pose several conspiracy theories about the legitimacy of those stats—it takes a long time to make a new cereal, so they likely already had it ready, plus the retweets stalled at 4,000 for a week before launching up conspicuously—but it seems the end result more than makes up for it.

Yes, thanks to reader Devin, we have an exclusive first look at Blueberry Eggo Cereal! No word yet on whether original Maple will return as well—to fill the Waffle Boy sized hole left in my heart—but this alone is beyond exciting. Looking at these indigo-specked waffle rounds, I’m holding onto hope that these taste more like Ralston’s legendary Blueberry Waffleos than Cap’n Crunch’s ho-hum Blueberry Pancake Crunch.

No word yet on when these jacks will flap onto shelves, but I think the moral of the story is that we all should be guilt-tripping sassy brand Twitter accounts into creating or reviving innovative cereals. After all, it’s the least they can do in return for filling our timelines with embarrassing “wrap battles” about Crunchwraps and Jimmy Dean breakfast burritos.

Posted by dan g.. Categories: News. Tags: blueberry, kellogg's, maple, news. 1 Comment

Jul. ’19

Review: Red, White & Blueberry Pop-Tarts

Listen, when the slogan tells you to “save big money at Menards,” there’s an invisible asterisk attached that reads “if you’re willing to wait two full months per 60¢ saved.”

For those confused by most of that (rather than just some of it): Menards is a midwestern hardware store comparable to Home Depot or Lowe’s—if you add a twang of ope-fulness. When news of Red, White & Blueberry Pop-Tarts broke in mid-May, I immediately started looking for a place to buy them. You know, so I could get them in time for Independence Day.

Both wonderfully and strangely, the only place I could find them was on Menards’ website—what’s more patriotic than discount lumber, I guess?—and with a 60¢ mail-in rebate to make the box cost me under $1.50. Sounds like an American Dream come true, right?

Well, 48 automated Menards customer service emails later, I learned that not only were the Pop-Tarts on a seemingly infinite backorder, but I’m also probably the only person to buy them from the site. The page where I bought them has been deleted, and they finally arrived conspicuously in a package better secured than Fort Knox’s solid-gold diary.

So while the actual Fourth of July is weeks behind us, perhaps we can rechristen this occasion: Happy Menardian Solstice, everyone! Who wants fireworks? Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 7 rating, blueberry, kellogg's, pop-tarts. 2 Comments

Jul. ’19

Rumor Mill: Malt-O-Meal Blueberry Muffin Toasters?

You ever have a day that keeps on giving?

And not only in sporadic bursts of sunny feelings, but in a systematic and exponentially improving sense?

I awoke today planning only to share the duel of wills that occured between me and Blue-Eyes White Dragon Cereal. And then I was gobsmacked by a Reddit tip about larvae-shaped Twinkies Cereal.

And now, after following the Twinkies lead shared by /r/YukiHase (thanks again!), I’ve struck sapphire. This something more potent than a Blue-Eyes Blast, and more nostalgic than a Twinkie and four Ghostbusters.

It’s a potential successor to Malt-O-Meal Blueberry Muffin Tops.

Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Specials. Tags: blueberry, malt-o-meal. 3 Comments

Apr. ’19

Review: Blueberry Cheerios

With Violet Beauregarde, one of the Blue Man Group guys (the quiet, sensitive one), and Paul Giamatti’s character Marty Wolf in the seminal 2002 classic film Big Fat Liar as my witnesses, I will never stop preaching the good word of Kellogg’s Fruity Snacks—specifically the blueberry ones.

Ever since Scooby-Doo fruit snacks, another object of my analogical fixation, changed their packaging and recipe for the worse, Kellogg’s Fruity Snacks are undoubtedly the best bite-sized bits of gelatin you can find in the Snacks, Etc. aisle. In fact, I’d say they’re third in my personal gummy candy fandom, surpassed only by blue sharks (essentially blueberry Fruity Snacks that’ve evolved predatory instinct) and Venus de Milo herself.

Yes, the potently juicy flavor of each Kellogg’s Fruity Snack, be it straw-, rasp-, or blueberry, is both refined and instantly recognizable. But it’s that last cerulean snack—which I also love for looking like a video game mana potion—that I’ve most wanted to see translated into a cereal again. Too often in mixed berry cereals, the flavor scientists paint the whole flavortown red, giving little leeway for the subtlety of blueberry to shine through. Yet every time there’s been an exception, the result is wonderful—even if it inevitably results in discontinuation, too. Whether they’re Tiny Toasts (turned Toast Crunches) or Muffin Tops that inspire sponsored meals, blueberry cereal is a refreshing, yet underrated experience—much like the first swing set underdog during a brisk late-fall recess.

The moment I heard about Blueberry Cheerios, I hoped this was my chance to taste blueberry gummy jam spread across toasted grain once more. So no pressure, General Mills: but if you get this one wrong, you’ll have to sculpt me a gummy Dionysus as penance.

Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, blueberry, cheerios, general mills. 11 Comments

Feb. ’19

News: Blueberry Cheerios are Officially Coming Soon!

If you read my earlier post—which I’ve now updated—on Toy Story 4 Cereal and were rendered sleepless with anticipation for the visual discovery of the mentioned Blueberry Cheerios, you can quite literally rest assured: thanks to a recent business press release from General Mills, we now have our first whole-grainy look at the latest performance patch to America’s favorite cereal rings.

These indigo oats are the latest in a storied run of blueberry General Mills cereals, whose likes include Blueberry Chex and the late Blueberry Toast Crunch (née Tiny Toast). While I wholly trust GM to continue their successful blue streak—a trail of glory that apparently left Boo Berry behind in the corny dust decades ago—I’m most excited to see how Blueberry Cheerios evolve Very Berry Cheerios. I know that cereal has its fans, but I personally thought blueberry’s talent was squandered behind strawberry and raspberry, whose shouting match of tastes left both them and me appropriately red in the face.

But I’ll quite brambling on about berry cereals and let you get back to feasting your eyes on the render above. It’s a beautiful box that, in addition to mimicking Blueberry Toast Crunch’s cardboard hues identically, also suggests that any bowl of Blueberry Cheerios will develop a massive, shadowy blueberry familiar capable of dragging your enemies into a nebulous cerulean void.

After all, revenge is a dish best served with cold milk.

Posted by dan g.. Categories: News. Tags: blueberry, cheerios, general mills, news. 2 Comments

Dec. ’18

Review: Wild Harvest Blueberry Walnut Cereal

The breakfast aisle is guerrilla warfare. We have Malt-o-Meal cranking out hit after hit while Aldi’s in-house brand drops the surprise bomb of the holiday season. What the Cuphead is going on here?! I’m having ancestor-flashbacks to when an imitator started dressing like Hydrox and soon became America’s Favorite Cookie. So please, stick with me for a moment while I argue that the future very likely rests on the shoulders of companies we don’t even recognize.

Sometimes, I take a trip to the local hippie grocery chain to see what’s up in the world of avant granola. It was during one such venture that I spotted this perplexing bit of cerealia perched high up on a shelf in the ill-defined “healthy cereal” section. It stood out amid Barbara’s Puffins and Kashi GoLean because, more so than any other probiotic, low-sugar, organic, gluten-free, paleo, vegan option with 1000% of your daily fiber, the minimalist art shouts “wholesome.” Screams it. Through a megaphone. While standing in front of a celery poster. This is box art that could make Teddy Ruxpin burst into apologetic tears for not giving enough warm hugs to orphans.

Meet Wild Harvest, a brand with barely any discernible history or footprint in the marketplace. The enlarged image on their milquetoastly-named Blueberry Walnut Cereal looks a lot like one of the many pretenders to the Honey Bunches of Oats lineage. An investigation of the copyright reveals that Wild Harvest is an imprint of SuperValu, Inc. Inspired by Dan’s recent tumble down the rabbit bowl, I checked more into it. Here’s hoping I don’t need a secret handshake to get in. Continue reading →

Posted by jared m.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, blueberry. 2 Comments