Tag Archives: 8 rating

Review: Reese’s Puffs Bunnies (Spring Edition)

Reese’s Puffs are a lot like Krave.

As I mentioned in my recent review, Krave is a cereal with nearly limitless potential for awesome flavor fillings, a potential that’s been largely (and tragically) unrealized in America while European Krave lets its freaky flavor flag fly.

General Mills’s iconic peanut butter puffs are the same way. As Reese’s candy division is stuffing Reese’s Pieces into Reese’s Cups, cramming peanuts into Reese’s Pieces, and (probably) distilling the ethereal essences of Mr. Peanut’s ghostly grandparents into Reese’s NutRageous bars, Reese’s Puffs cereal remains plain and unchanged. Outside of our sweetest nightly dreams, we’ve never seen Reese’s Puffs with Reese’s Pieces, Reese’s Puffs with Nougat & Nut Shavings, or even Chocolate PB&J Reese’s Puffs.

I’m not the only one who feels this way, either. One of my favorite YouTube gamers went on a recent Twitter tirade that inspired this intro:

Reese PB Puffs Ideas:
Dark Chocolate
White Chocolate
Peanut Butter Flavored Marshmallows
Banana Flavored Marshmallows
Cookies n Creme Bits

— Matt McMuscles (@MattMcMuscles) February 19, 2017

All I'm saying is
DO NO STAGNATE
Don't rest on your laurels and wait for others to catch up to you

— Matt McMuscles (@MattMcMuscles) February 19, 2017

The only thing that holds back cereal is preconceived notions of reality

— Matt McMuscles (@MattMcMuscles) February 19, 2017

No, instead of any of those great ideas, we get Reese’s Puffs Bunnies: the same cereal, now conveniently in the same bunny shape as Annie’s recent Bunnies cereals. My brain says, “Boo, that’s lazy!” but my inner child—whose heart is concentric with mine—says, “Ooh, I love cute lil rabbits!”

Fine, 8-year old Dan: let’s (begrudgingly) dig in. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, general mills, holiday, reese's puffs. 7 Comments

Feb. ’17

Review: Krave Cereal (Now with More Chocolate!)

Krave sounds like the perfect vehicle for exciting, limited edition cereal flavors. Its semi-hollow, chocolate-striped biscuits could be filled with any number of wacky tastes.

Krave could pair the chocolate with a peanut butter ribbon, pipette some strawberry filling in there for Valentine’s Day, layer on some banana for Elvis Presley’s birthday, or heck: just dip every pillowy rectangle in fudge and sprinkles. I like to imagine that all these ideas even got brought up at Kellogg’s last marketing meeting…but then that one guy in the back of the room—you know, that guy— shouted above everyone else with his mouth full of the break room’s last doughnut:

“Hey why don’t we just add more chocolate?”

And this new “Now More Chocolate!” Krave was born. Somewhere across the Atlantic, Europeans are snickering at us over their bowls of Hazelnut, White Chocolate Brownie, and Choco Roulette Krave. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, chocolate, kelloggs, krave. 5 Comments

Feb. ’17

Review: Kashi Chocolate Crunch Cereal

“Pshh, Kashi’s a health company. There’s no way their Chocolate Crunch cereal will pack enough chocolaty goodness to satisfy a certified chocoholic like me.”

Wrong!

“Oh, well, since they are a health company, surely Kashi’s Chocolate Crunch will contain satisfying, filling serving sizes.”

Wrong!

“Uh, at least there’s…surely no way I’ll plow through a whole box of Chocolate Crunch in one sitting and find myself on the floor, shamefully lying on my belly to hide the fudge stains on my overeager face!”

Wrong!

That’s three strikes, and you’re out. Please hang up your glove and hand over your Kashi Chocolate Crunch box to the proper authorities (i.e. my own hungry mitts). Despite Kashi’s reputation for clean, wholesome breakfasts, Chocolate Crunch is no minor league chocolate cereal. When it comes to cocoa-slathered goodness, this stuff hits harder than Babe Ruth wielding a king-sized Baby Ruth.

Don’t believe me? Join me in the dugout and we’ll dig into a box. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, chocolate, kashi. 4 Comments

Feb. ’17

Mini “Review:” Kellogg’s Chinese New Year Corn Flakes

“Cock-a-doodle-dude! That box looks so rad!”

That was my first reaction upon seeing this new Kellogg’s Chinese New Year Corn Flakes box, a limited edition print made to celebrate the Year of the Rooster. This reaction also explains why I’m inside folding a papercraft chicken instead of going to an actual party.

Since it is the Year of the Rooster (as of January 28th), it makes sense that Kellogg’s would give Cornelius, of all mascots, a simultaneously fresh and retro new look—though I would’ve loved to see Toucan Sam’s knowing beak adorned with ornamental gold flowers. See, Cornelius has been around since 1957, so this box also celebrates his 60th birthday. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, corn flakes, holiday, kelloggs. 6 Comments

Jan. ’17

Review: Apple Strawberry Raisin Bran Crunch Cereal

Leave it to Raisin Bran Crunch to bring two of America’s most contentious summer pie flavors together.

Seriously: apple pie and strawberry pie’s rivalry is the warm weather equivalent of pumpkin vs. pecan, and I bet this bitter—yet so sweet—feud is the reason we don’t see apple and strawberry flavors mix very often. I don’t know what apple did to strawberry to evoke decades of estrangement, but I can only assume it involved a pie to the face. And maybe a few clowns.

But now, thanks to the unifying power of Raisin Bran’s radiant sun, we can finally experience apple and strawberry in tandem without having to sandwich together two slices of Grandma’s Independence Day desserts. Because while it may be delicious, that’s how you end up with a Fourth New Belt Notch of July. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, apple, kelloggs, raisin bran, strawberry. 17 Comments

Jan. ’17

Review: Cap’n Crunch’s Blueberry Pancake Crunch Cereal

IHOP, matey!

Whoops, that was weird. I meant to write, “Ahoy, matey!” Sorry about that. Anyway, come on and IHOP aboard my cereal review ship, and we’ll…darn, I did it again! I really must have pancakes on my mind today.

IHOPe it doesn’t happen again.

But really, how can anyone not have pancakes stuck to their brains like syrupy griddlecakes to a plate when Cap’n Crunch’s Blueberry Pancake Crunch cereal is finally here? Sold in boxes taller than Paul Bunyan’s flapjack stacks, Blueberry Pancake Crunch combines fruity aquamarine and maple-flavored creme puffs (no, not that kind of cream puffs, sorry) to re-create a fascinatingly obscure breakfast in cereal form.

Personally, I would have preferred Buckwheat Pancake Crunch, but my pancake house menu choices are decidedly more octogenarian than most.

So while all you kids turn on Matlock for me and get off my darn lawn, I’ll pour a fresh bowl of spherical Johnnycakes. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, cap'n crunch, maple, quaker. 23 Comments

Jan. ’17

Review: Keebler Cereal with Real Mini Chocolate Chip Cookies

Confession time: when I was a kid, I loved the Keebler Elves.

Ernie. Ma Keebler. Buckets. Fast Eddie. Even that mischievous miscreant Elwood. I treated my E.L. Fudge cookies like edible action figures, using them to reenact the Hollow Tree’s treat assembly line and play games of “synchronized milk diving.” Later in my adolescence, the cookies even became diplomats in tense scenes of imagined inter-arboreal geopolitics.

Let’s just say I had more snacks than friends for a while there.

Since my history with Keebler is long and sentimental, it was a Coconut Dream come true to hear that Kellogg’s was releasing a new Keebler Cereal, even after 2008’s Keebler Cookie Crunch Cereal was discontinued. And I’m Double Stuffed with joy to see that we got the real, two-dimensional Ernie on the packaging, instead of the computer-inept, ironically meme-ing CGI Ernie from Twitter:

Can someone put me in the picture with the Pumpkin Spice Fudge Stripes? I haven't been to the Photo Shop. pic.twitter.com/3slP6LFKxo

— Keebler (@KeeblerUS) September 12, 2016

With promises of real chocolate chip cookies inside, this cereal is singing my name like an Elf at work. I’m expecting big, doughy things from Keebler Cereal, but if all else fails, I’m sure I can still use the cookie pieces as projectiles for an E.L. Fudge-manned trebuchet. Let’s fire away! Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, kelloggs. 13 Comments

Dec. ’16

Review: Limited Edition Dunkin’ Donuts Chocolate Mocha Pop-Tarts

We were so close.

When Dunkin’ Donuts announced their partnership with Pop-Tarts, I thought it was a no-brainer that we’d get a Jelly Doughnut Pop-Tart, complete with a fried, yeasty crust and a fruity or custardy filling. But alas, my hopes were squeezed cleanly out of me like a Boston Cream doughnut in an industrial vice grip: instead of any Inception-ed “baked good inside of a baked good” flavor, Kellogg’s and Dunkin’ Donuts gave us Chocolate Mocha Pop-Tarts and Vanilla Latte Pop-Tarts.

We were so close that I nearly leaned out an open window and crooned “we could’ve had it all!” in my best Adele voice.

But I won’t complain, because Chocolate Mocha and Vanilla Latte are pretty darn good consolation prizes. And since I already love Vanilla Latte Pop-Tarts enough to consider working them into my annual family Christmas card, Chocolate Mocha will surely make me forget about the world’s cruel lack of Cruller-flavored toaster pastries.

At least I hope so. I’ll keep my emergency Adele wig on standby, just in case. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, chocolate, kelloggs, pop-tarts. 4 Comments