Tag Archives: 8 rating

Review: Limited Edition Strawberry Cheerios

Strawberries.

Forget April showers, May flowers, and June TV re-runs of Austin Powers, because strawberries are the real harbingers of summertime.

Strawberries!

Whether it’s the rosy pink of an artificial strawberry or the screaming scarlet of the real thing, the color of strawberry related things is enough to make my blood run red. Oh, wait…it always does that.

Strawberries!

Even saying the name makes me want to suck down fruity beverages through a curly plastic tube while singing along to “Copacabana,” because nothing’s better than straws and Barry.

Now even Cheerios—one of the most iconic cereal brands out there—has embraced this hero of the season. With gluten-free Limited Edition Strawberry Cheerios, General Mills is once again bringing peace to the breakfast aisle after the tragic discontinuation of Strawberry Yogurt Burst Cheerios in 2013.

We also know that the bread and strawberry butter of General Mills’ strawberry cereal game is still to come with this summer’s Strawberry Tiny Toast, but let’s give Strawberry Cheerios their time in the oat ring-shaped spotlight. Hi ho, Cheerio: let’s-a go!

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Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, cheerios, general mills, strawberry, van's. 9 Comments

Apr. ’16

Review: Kellogg’s Strawberry Frosted Mini-Wheats

Strawberry season is nigh!

So while we wait for me to track down those new Strawberry Cheerios, while we wait a little longer for this summer’s Strawberry Tiny Toast, and while we wait even longer for Franken Berry to awaken from his 11 month hibernation, let’s start with a classic strawberry appetizer!

Kellogg’s Strawberry Frosted Mini-Wheats has been around for a long time. In fact, some historians claim this cereal predates the strawberry fruit itself.

We don’t take those historians very seriously.

But since Strawberry Mini-Wheats have long graced the breakfast aisle alongside compatriots like Blueberry, Maple Brown Sugar, and Original, they must be pretty darn good, right? Let’s revisit them and find out.

After all, I can’t resist any opportunity to lick hot pink frosting off of things. Somewhere out there is a veritable zoo of naked Keebler Frosted Animal Cookies.

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Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, kelloggs, mini-wheats, strawberry. 4 Comments

Apr. ’16

Review: Golden Grahams S’Mores Treats

It’s mid-April, and the last traces of winter are finally melting away. This means that summer, s’mores, subsequent spooky stories, and other things that start with “s” are on their way. So right after I track down that lying groundhog who predicted an early spring, I’m going to load up on graham crackers, chocolate bars, marshmallows, and first aid kits for inevitable 3rd degree burns caused by charred marshmallow magma.

But before I start up any campfires and make Smokey the Bear sweat nervously, I have to pre-game with as many s’mores favored snacks as possible. Last week I munched on the dreamy pillows of Krave S’Mores, so now it’s Golden Grahams’ turn.

Ordinarily, I could just add Cocoa Puffs and Lucky Charms marbits to a bowl of Golden Grahams and call it a day. But it’s an on-the-go kind of busy week, and I can’t carry around a portable torch to roast any marshmallows (I don’t have any angry mobs scheduled). Luckily, General Mills has me covered with Golden Grahams S’Mores Treats.

Will they be satisfying enough to make me postpone that angry mob appointment indefinitely? Enough fluff, let’s get right into the marshmallow fluff!

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Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, cereal bar, general mills, golden grahams, s'mores. 3 Comments

Apr. ’16

Review: Sweet Home Farm Pumpkin Flax Granola

Pumpkin season might be over, but flax season has just begun! Get ready for Flax Spice Lattes, Flax-scented hand soap, and flax-o-lantern seed carving contests.

Okay, I definitely just made up “flax season” for the purposes of this review, but it makes sense. If we eat healthy things with flax in them now, when it’s time for summer barbecues and pool lounging, we can feel justified in going Kobayashi on a pack of hot dogs.

How does that old saying go? Oh yeah:

“April flax brings Lay’s Stax!”

Flax isn’t the most common things to find in the breakfast aisle, especially outside of Canada, but if you’re feeling the need for seed, Sweet Home Farm has you covered with their Pumpkin Flax granola.

I’m definitely going to try it: half because I want to, and half because my hand won’t fit any deeper into my can of Lay’s Stax.

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Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, attune foods, granola, pumpkin, sweet home farm. Leave a comment

Mar. ’16

Review: Honey Nut M&M’s (Flavor Vote)

I know: these M&M’s are not a cereal.

And despite all the bowlfuls of M&M’s Minis I’ve sucked down over the years, M&M’s never have been a cereal, either.

But before you report me to the cops for reviewing something on this blog wholly unrelated to breakfast, hear me out. When I say “Honey Nut,” what’s the first snack you think of?

If you said anything but “Honey Nut Cheerios,” maybe those cops should be on the lookout for a pair of pants on fire instead. Yeah, yeah, there are other acceptable answers, like Honey Nut Shredded Wheat and Honey Nut Chex, but my point still stands:

Breakfast cereal runs the Honey Nut game, so a new Honey Nut M&M’s flavor should be legally considered a cereal, just like how pizza can legally be considered a vegetable.

Whether you agree with me or not, I’m gonna review these bad boys. And whether your eyes are ready for it or not, I’m even gonna try them with milk.

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Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, honey, non cereal. 8 Comments

Mar. ’16

Review: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Cereal

Fans of edible, crunchy cartoon heads: rejoice!

That’s right, General Mills’ new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles joins the proud lineage of cereals shaped like grinning faces, which includes Kaboom, Cabbage Patch Kids Cereal, and even another Canada-exclusive TMNT cereal from back in the day.

There’s something about carnivorously devouring cereal smileys that’s sadistically satisfying. It’s probably the fact that these faces tend to be nightmarishly creepy, so pulverizing them with a molar guillotine feels like I’m doing the world a service.

General Mills surprisingly dropped this TMNT cereal on shelves without any announcement, like a heroes in a half-shell bombshell. I’m not upset, though: walking into the supermarket and seeing this cereal was like finding a prize at the bottom of a cereal box…except in this case the box was the prize.

That sentence made no sense, so let’s just dive—or maybe ninja flip—right into the review.

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Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, general mills. 13 Comments

Feb. ’16

Review: Kashi GoLean Dark Chocolate Cashew Chia Plant-Powered Bar

I find the concept of breakfast bars to be fascinating. All the magic of cereal distilled and molded like sugary Play-Doh into portable, rectangular chunks? They’re the next best thing to carrying around a heart-shaped locket with Toucan Sam’s face inside.

At the same time, I yearn for a simpler era of breakfast bars. I yearn for the days when our only option was bits of actual cereal haphazardly Elmer’s glued together by a sweet, gelatinous white goo that could somehow legally be called “milk.”

But now we live in an era of protein and quinoa and whatever the hell “activated almonds” are. So I’ll happily review one more Kashi Plant-Powered Bar, but I’ll do it with a nostalgic yearning for a simpler time—a time when I accepted a dare to eat just the milk layer of a cereal bar and spent the rest of the dazed afternoon unsure what century it was. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, cereal bars, kashi, non cereal. Leave a comment

Feb. ’16

Review: Kellogg’s Cinnabon Cereal

Just look at those swirls. Imagine them hypnotically spinning: spinning, twirling, and careening down into your cereal bowl.

You’re getting very, very hungry.

It’s been a relatively slow month for new cereal, so while I continue eagerly hunting for Post’s new Marshmallow Pebbles, I think it’s time I gave a cinnamon-seasoned cereal veteran a proper vetting.

And since the tempting spirals in this box of Kellogg’s Cinnabon cereal have been beckoning me like crunchy sirens for awhile now, they seem like good review candidates.

Maybe now I won’t have to eat bowls full of Taco Bell Cinnabon Delights and milk. I hear that’s how they finally killed Rasputin. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, cinnamon, kelloggs. 10 Comments