Oof.

Ugh.

Yeugh, even.

Can I be real for a second? Wholly honest? I am sick of this sugar ring cereal “trend.” It’s lazy, it’s cheap, it’s boring, and it’s downright disrespectful to cereal fans excited for creative new spins on breakfast favorites. Kellogg’s is the primary offender here, spreading a plague of plodding fruity-ish riffs on the same vapid formula. It seems that ever since they got the cloyingly-hooped formula right with Pink Donut Cereal, they’ve been letting the idea decay and fester, with each imitative iteration outdoing its predecessor by dulling my taste buds even more—to the point where my sweet tooth has devolved into a salty tooth.

So even though Canada’s interpretation of Birthday Cake Froot Loops was pretty solid, every single American take on birthday cake for breakfast has flopped with the grace of a flip-flop stomping on Cookie Puss. So I had no excitement going into Kellogg’s stateside rendition of Birthday Cake Froot Loops—hence why I saved it for last out of all the new Kellogg’s Cereals.

Well, except for Baby Shark Cereal, whose upcoming review will likely be the same as this one, just simplified with epithets even a YouTube-loving child could understand. Continue reading →