Player 1, please press start. Because we’ve got a heck of a cereal adventure ahead of us.
But I’m not talking about Chex Quest—though I always wish that I am. No, I just want to share the latest videos from cereal high scorer Gabe Fonseca’s Cereal Time YouTube series. On every episode of Cereal Time, Gabe dives into his personal breakfast archives to share the history and continued legacy of cereals both famous and obscure.
And this time, he’s pulling an arcade cabinet classic out of his cereal cabinet.
The first video we’re sharing is about Pac-Man Cereal! There’s something so magical about video game cereals (it’s actually a topic I had the chance to write about recently!). Whether it’s the way they infuse neon-tinged nostalgia into every piece or the way their sugary taste pairs perfectly with secret late night gaming sessions—don’t crunch too loud, or Mom will hear—video game cereals are like distilled geometric bits of pure childhood.
And no video game cereal does this better than Pac-Man Cereal. With revolutionarily colored marshmallows, shapes that are accurate to the game’s lore, and TV commercials that could be used in future history classrooms as examples of what late-20th century whimsy looked like, Pac-Man Cereal is a happy relic from a time when carefree gamers reigned supreme. Video game cereals need a resurgence in 2016, so why not jumpstart the trend with a new Pac-Man Cereal?
I’m imagining fruit-shaped marshmallows bathing in a sea of Pac-Man and ghost-shaped Tiny Toast pieces.
Next up is Honey Nut Cheerios, a cereal that continues to be America’s favorite (and best-selling) well into the 21st century. Gabe’s video thoroughly covers this cereal’s sticky sweet legacy, from Buzz Bee’s origin story to that time Hulk Hogan endorsed the iconic little rings.
But the real story here is Honey Nut Cheerios’ forgotten little brother: Cinnamon Nut Cheerios. Apparently they weren’t popular enough to survive, but I wish they had. Visions of uneaten cinnamon almond glazed oat bites will now forever dance wistfully in my head. If I ever get the chance to use a time machine, you’ll find me in the back row at the Gettysburg Address with a mountainous bowl of Cinnamon Nut Cheerios.
Time for Dinersaurs! As someone who is as big of a dinosaur fan as he is a cereal fan, I can’t believe I never got to try a cereal that features a Brontosaurus in a chef’s hat. When I’m on my deathbed and they ask me if I have any regrets, you’ll hear the words “crunchy stegosaurus” more than once.
The key attractors in this cereal are the shapes and colors. It’s rare to find a cereal with more than one shape these days, let alone five! Oh, and let’s throw in 5 colors, too, just to really make waking up for breakfast feel like Dorothy waking up in Oz.
In a world where Trix has reverted to its spherical, tri-colored origins, we need rainbow reptiles more than ever. Or at least a Saturday morning cartoon about the Dinersaurs foiling the Quaker oat guy’s plans to steal dinosaur eggs for his oatmeal.
Finally, it’s Breakfast with Barbie, a cereal based on a doll. Uh, I mean, based on an action figure!
All talks of toy usage and target audiences aside, I never would have bought this cereal. Why? Because I’m terrified of dolls. So if I had one staring at me with its dead, painted eyes over breakfast, my spoon would be impaled through the cardboard in no time.
For the record, I blame Slappy the Dummy from Goosebumps for this fear.
Nevertheless, Breakfast with Barbie had cool artwork and cool colors. From SpongeBob Cereal to Urkel O’s, pink and yellow cereals have a storied history. Though I wouldn’t really want Patrick or Urkel’s piercing pupils glaring me down at 8:00am either.
That’s all from Gabe for now. If you enjoy pointing your own eyes at Cereal Time, every episode can be found here, and you can check out Gabe’s Twitter, as well.