https://www.instagram.com/p/Bmlc3VnhRCr/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=dkbxzjgf7acg

Some cryptids have all the fun.

Unicorns get everything from cereal and Frappuccinos to bath bombs and top-tier piñatas, while Bigfoot and Nessie bat clean-up witha solid cult following and a great Napoleon Dynamite cameo.

Yet I’ve never once seen a Mothman Cereal–let alone Chupacabra Frappuccinos. That’s what makes @junkfoodgoat‘s discovery of new Unicorn Power Frosted Cherry Pop-Tarts at Sam’s Club all the more bittersweet. Because while I can’t wait to munch into some Lisa Frank-style toaster pastries, I wish there was at least a Michigan Dog Man Toaster Strudel to compete with.

Sadly, the Pop-Tarts do appear to be only Cherry flavored, as opposed to Kellogg’s “Magical Cupcake” cereal that appears to bear nearly the same unicorn design.

Maybe the scarlet cherry filling is actually immortal blood?

Thanks again to Junk Food Goat for sharing. Apparently this variety will also be out in smaller boxes as “Sparkle-licious Cherry.” Once I do find a box of my own, I’ll be sure to dunk them in Red Bull to make Pegasus Pop-Tarts.