https://www.instagram.com/p/BiX6EL7FzN8/

(Check out our full review of Hardee’s & Carls Jr.’s Froot Loops Donuts!)

Praise the sun god (by which I mean the Raisin Bran mascot)! Cereal and doughnuts are a match made in personal heaven.

See, I secretly adore doughnuts (which I spell the correct way. Yeesh/yeast, Carl, get it right). From Twin Peaks to The Simpsons, the nutrional desert of a morning dessert that is the doughnuts rivals even cereal in terms of breakfasts with cultural significance. That’s why I’ve (mentally) preached that the two should just merge into a single vessel of breakfast singularity

We’ve gotten plenty of great doughnut cereals recently, and now Carl’s Jr. is helping usher in the second crumbing with new Froot Loops Donuts, which look like SpongeBob’s Pretty Patties and probably taste just as good.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BjK8_sfnQc6/
A few users now have posted proof of their existence, despite radio silence on all CJ’s official channels—he’s probably busy making out with Hardee’s—but I still don’t know much about the flavor makeup. What I do know is that big bad Carlton didn’t stop there. (Slight profanity warning ahead: tell the kids to go watch the washing machine spin around)

https://www.instagram.com/p/BjJm1yUAQ8V/

Yes, Carl’s Jr. is putting even Burger King’s Froot Loops Shake to shame with their Froot Loops Donut Shake, a product name that sounds like a demerit-worthy run-on sentence. 

I don’t know if I’ll ever get to try either due to my geographic isolation from any of Carl’s star-studded houses of sinful decadence, so for now, I’ll just plan to live vicariously through you lucky dogs’ arteries.

(Now I’m remembering why this isn’t a doughnut review blog)