Wait, wait! Come back!
I know what you’re thinking:
“Toasted Oatmeal Flakes? That sounds like the kind of boring cereal that’s been sitting in the back of my grandma’s pantry since the Great Depression forced people to hand-toast their oatmeal. I almost fell asleep halfway through reading the word OatmZzzZz…”
But your weirdly specific thought would be wrong. Because these are good. So good that, somewhere in the ghostly beyond, the Quaker Oats guy is shaking his fist and bellowing:
“Why didn’t I think of this first?!”
Like so many of Trader Joe’s cereals, these Toasted Oatmeal Flakes didn’t really get triumphantly announced; they sort of just appeared, almost as if the foodie-friendly store simply decided to draw them into existence one night. Maybe they have Harold and the Purple Crayon on permanent staff.
Regardless of whether you were aware of their spontaneous appearance, the Trader Joe’s website claims they’ve been around since at least February. Despite this, the lack of any other Internet info on the cereal leads me to believe I’m the first person in existence to actually eat this cereal. Either that, or this is a cereal-themed version of Fight Club in which SPOILERS I’ve actually been Toasted Oatmeal Flakes this entire time.
Pouring a bowl of these nondescript, oak-colored flakes, the heavy clunk they make when hitting my bowl tells me one thing for certain: these babies are gonna be crunchier and louder than that ticket munching machine at Chuck E. Cheese. You know the one.
The box, depicting a picturesque breakfast you’d expect from a Google Images search for “breakfast clipart,” describes the cereal as “Made with Whole Grain Oats & Whole Grain Wheat.” Wow, while that whole grain sounds pretty whole grain good, I whole grain wonder what that whole grain vague description means for the actual flavor.
Ahh, the ingredients list sugar, honey, and molasses! And it’s a shame these weren’t prominently advertised, because these three ingredients are what give the Toasted Oatmeal Flakes a unique and delicious competitive edge in the unending “Cereal Aisle War” (which is totally a real thing: Cap’n Crunch had to earn his title somehow).
The thin glaze of sugar and honey gives the flakes a fleeting, sticky sweetness that feels much more natural and organic than the processed sugar head rush provided by most commercial cereals. This quickly dissolves into the flakes’ most prominent flavor: the hearty earthiness of the oats. It really is like crunchy oatmeal, and despite the unpleasant mental image that provides, I mean it in the most flattering way possible.
The whole experience is held together by undertones of baked-in molasses which gives the flakes a lip-smacking finish and aftertaste.
And unless you want your elderly neighbors complaining about “those darn kids and their new wave crunching music,” don’t forget to add milk! It softens the flakes’ razor-sharp crunch, and the mild vanilla flavor it adds rounds out the experience.
And they provide a versatile platform for experimentation. I even recommend adding them to oatmeal for the ultimate meta experience of the senses, in which crispness contrasts softness. However, I’m not responsible for the psychiatric trauma those poor oat flakes endure after swimming in the boiled remains of their brethren.
At the end of the day (or the start, if it’s, you know, breakfast), Trader Joe’s Oatmeal Flakes hide a satisfyingly sweet and down-to-earth uniqueness behind a bizarrely bland exterior. This is why we shouldn’t judge a book by its bowl, or cereal by its cover.
Wait, strike that: reverse it.
Oh, whoops, too late: I just poured a cup of 2% on my copy of The Great Gatsby.
The Bowl: Trader Joe’s Toasted Oatmeal Flakes
The Breakdown: Molasses’ richness and honey’s wholesomeness make these hyper-crunchy flakes worth the risk of violating EPA anti-noise pollution regulations.
The Bottom Line: 7 vengeful Quakers out of 10
I find myself on the internet today trying to find a substitute for TJ’s (now discontinued) Toasted Oatmeal Flakes. They were excellent paired with TJ’s dried cranberries and 2% milk. Whoever decided to discontinue this cereal should be required to walk the plank or be keelhauled (at the offender’s option…)
Did you find a substitute?
My sentiments exactly.
Have you found anything
close?
Honestly don’t even want a replacement I just want the real thing. Just looked it up and found nothing but these are the real deal top 10 cereal of all time if you were lucky enough to try them. We gotta band together to get these back imo
I agree with this unhappy person. I ate the discontinued Toasted Oatmeal Flakes for years and suddenly found myself without and quite unhappy. I have not found another cereal to replace it although I have tried many. If you know how I can obtain it, please let me know. I would appreciate the gesture. SWS
I don’t live near a Trader Joe’s, so I would go there once a month and buy a case of the Trader Joe’s Toasted Oatmeal Flakes cereal each time. I am so upset you discontinued my favorite cereal. WHY!!!
P.S.: I just finished my last box. So depressing.
Idk about this one but my love is and always will be Post Fortified Oat Flakes. My Grandad and I ate those for breakfast every day that I visited him and Grandma. For years. And when I had my daughter and moved to my own place I bought them myself not realizing I would lose that glorious privilege soon. So mad! Still lol. Always a huge fave of many people goes obsolete. What is wrong with companies? Don’t they want to please their customers???
Anyone for Little Debbie Boston Cream Rolls? Or Hostess SuzyQs???💔
Bring back toasted oak flakes! I ordered three boxes the last time they had in store. But now I am lost because there are no. more cereal
As in the previous post – please bring back Toasted Oatmeal Flakes
It’s back! Got a box today. The ONLY cereal I eat. I was so sad.
They’re back but the flakes are smaller so a slightly different texture and taste, anyone else notice?
I did. But my husband didn’t. I thought I was crazy! It tastes the same to me, though. And it still holds up in milk!
Yes, that is the only cereal we would buy or eat! We live about 45 minutes from The Woodlands, we would buy ten boxes at a time. I sure hope so! When this virus stuff is over I am going to find out. Can I order on line
Found it today also. Never thought I would see it,was near one and decided what the hey. Hope it permanent.
What I said was you discontinued the best cereal in the world. Are you INSANE.
Mike Pichette
Please bring this Toasted Oatmeal Flakes cereal back
It’s back! Got a box today!
How many grams of whole grain in a serving?
These remind me of my all-time favorite cereal from the 70s: Post Fortified Oatflakes. They’re very tasty and crunchy – just great. So, planning ahead to when TJ’s no longer carries these, who makes them and what name are they sold under elsewhere? Anyone know? I’d like to continue to eat them….
Hi Rob: glad you like these as much as me!
There are actually two other cereals that are very similar: Barbara’s Toasted Oatmeal Flakes and Annie’s Frosted Oat Flakes, both of which I’ve reviewed!
https://www.cerealously.net/review-barbaras-toasted-oatmeal-flakes-cereal/
https://www.cerealously.net/review-annies-organic-frosted-oat-flakes-cereal/
The Quaker Oats guy actually DID already think of this – Quaker Toasted Oatmeal was my very favorite cereal back in the 90s. It broke my heart when it was discontinued, but this stuff is closest anything has ever come to recapturing the magic.
Wow, how could I forget about this one? Thanks for the reminder about a great cereal!
I know this is a really old post, but I just had to say that I love these, too! They’re great for snacking on dry or for breakfast I like add dried mandarin oranges and sweet & spicy pecans to my bowl – both also available at Trader Joe’s