Ginger is the Michael Ironside of spices. That is to say, you may not recognize the flavor on its own, but that spicy rhizome appears in just about every baked worth its sodium bicarbonate. Like the iconically forgotten character actor, ginger is more versatile than a cyborg tardigrade. We’re talking about a guy who has shown up in everything from The A-Team to some project called Lucky’s Treasure, which seems relevant to our interests*.
And like that masterful performer, the absence of ginger is more notable than its presence. It’s no secret that a real gingerbread cereal has been at the top of our wish list for years (no, I refuse to recognize that failed prototype). Like Dan, I’m heavy on anything made of, containing, smelling like, or crafted in the same kitchen as gingerbread. Cookies? Absolutely. Cake? I believe that would be an empty plate you’re holding. Post-Thanksgiving, we’ve officially entered Hansel and Gretel territory until well into February. Trader Joe’s, ever on their seasonal jam, recently dropped this spicy bomb on us: Gingerbread Spice Granola.
As a cereal journalist-slash-critic, I have carefully tempered expectations most of the time. Not here, though. The package art alone is enough to breathe life into my Grinchy sense of objectivity (can we have Michael Ironside in that movie, too? Don’t tell me Col. Dugan harassing some Whovillians wouldn’t be a masterwork). It’s no Gingerbread Toast Crunch, but gingerbread in any form is cause for high hopes. To the bowl!
The aroma is… heady. It has a nostalgic air to it, but not like Grandma’s kitchen two days before Christmas. Gingerbread Spice Granola smells precisely like a candle store. There are notes of artificial cinnamon and clove, nutmeg, and what I can only describe as “waxiness.” The packaging copy boasts of candied ginger bits, which required some digging to locate for the first bite. There’s very little here in the way of visible ginger pieces. Hopefully the rest are just hidden among its heavy brown spicing.
Nope. The hallmark of gingerbread—what separates it from lesser baked goods—is a properly formulated spice-to-molasses ratio. GSG does list molasses in the ingredients, yet somehow the balance is off. It’s not an unpleasant granola by any means. Unlike TJ’s earlier caramel apple effort, the crunch factor here is not distracting. It’s pleasantly sweet without going overboard. The rolled oats are notable as they appear to still be in their uncooked form. After a few initial chomps of mostly sugar and cinnamon tones, the granola chunks break down into chewy raw oatmeal. No gingerbread yet, but a much truer pumpkin spice than TJ’s eponymous P.S. granola.
Milk helps a little in terms of viscosity. It’s not the best tradeoff, however. While dairy’s creaminess lubricates the grind needed to enjoy this hearty mix of oats and nuts, candied ginger cubes show up at the end, Borg-like, to assimilate your taste buds. They’re just a touch too crystalline to be gummy, so there’s some effort involved. What you have, then, is a one-two punch of cozy pumpkin spice immediately interrupted with a shot of harsh ginger chew. Think of mixing a cinnamon granola with Chimes and you have a fair approximation.
As with their other products in this line, Trader Joe’s recommends microwaving GSG with milk. That ups the ante considerably, cooking the raw oats and melting the crystallized ginger so its harsh bite mellows together with the other flavors. The taste is still far from gingerbread, but this is perhaps the closest we’ve seen in a packaged breakfast product. In the end, I can’t say that TJ’S GSG will be a making a second round in my home, but it’s a nice weekend distraction as we await the firestorm of new cereals promised for 2019.
Plus, now I’ll forever think of Cookie Jarvis with voice of Dial from Free Willy.
*General Mills, I’m asking you, with all the love a man can have for a multinational conglomerate, to cast Mr. Ironside in whatever you’re making. Do we need to get Santa or the Easter Bunny in on this? The collective good requires that this guy give voice to Cookie Jarvis.
The Bowl: Trader Joe’s Gingerbread Spice Granola
The Breakdown: For a chill night with a soothing P.S. oatmeal, one could do worse. Best microwaved, this B movie for your bowl is far from a must-try. Gingerbread lovers can give it a pass.
The Bottom Line: 6 men who never age out of 10